My 3 yr old is impossible

amother

Papaya

Fri, Dec 22 2017, 1:49 pm

I am at my wits end with her. When she.doesnt get what she wants world beware! Just before it was time to go to the bus to.get my son and she wanted a snack. I told her ill put some crackers in a bag she wanted to take the whole box and she had a tantrum and smacked me and knocked her litle sister down. She doesnt listen and she goes nuts when she doesnt get her way. I need advice how to deal with her.

amother

Cerulean

Fri, Dec 22 2017, 2:00 pm

amother wrote:

Advice #1
Know it’s normal.

Try to stay calm. She wants a reaction from you she wants you to get scared of her.

Be emotionless, and firm.

amother

Teal

Fri, Dec 22 2017, 2:29 pm

I've got the same. Alot of hard work and she is doing much better. I try as often as possible to predict and prepare her. But obviously that cant always be the case. I am firm and extra kind. Ill commiserate...I sympathize and show warmth but I dont give in. Also U need to have options so she sees the reaction to her own behavior. I would have given her the whole snackbox and not made a deal only to avoid being late to the bus but if I have legroom id say either u can eat the snack in the bag or I cant give u snack. Be very nice about it and make it her problem. If she chooses well I make a HUGE deal. I tell all her siblings dh grandma howproud I am she is growing up and makes smart choices. Eventually she learned what smart choices means and is proud to behave...GOOD LUCK!

lfab

Fri, Dec 22 2017, 2:44 pm

amother wrote:

So frustrating, going through the same thing my 3 year old now. And she is very aware and will often "pick fights" (I hate to use the term since she's only 3 and I know not doing it out of malice) when she knows I don't have time to try to diffuse the tantrum. Like your daughter, she'll often decide she needs to have something/do something just as we're walking out the door to the bus, when I don't have time to patiently figure out exactly what/how she wants it. I'm so embarrassed about how often recently I've just carried her kicking and screaming to the bus

What random people walking by must have thought embarrassed

For example, the other day she simply refused to put on her coat. No amount of coaxing/bribing was working and we needed to leave or we would miss the bus. So I just picked her up, with no coat (I did bring the coat along) and went. What else was I supposed to do? I keep telling myself it's just a phase, she'll eventually grow out of it, etc. But meanwhile I can definitely commiserate with you. At other calmer times I do try my best to predict and avoid the battles altogether. And other times I simply put her in her room and let her tantrum herself out.