Should I keep my 4 year old home another year?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers

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amother

Mon, Mar 16 2009, 11:22 pm

I have a four year old son who has been staying home with me. Last year he went to school but didn't have a pleasant experiance. My dh wants me to put him in prek4 next year because he's worried that he won't be socially reading for pre1a. I'm not to worried. Dh feels adament but I know he would bend. Has anyone ever kept their son/daughter home until pre1a? What was their experiance? Incidentally I also have an eighteen month home. DS seems content so I say, why bother?

ShakleeMom

Mon, Mar 16 2009, 11:43 pm

My dd has been home for 3 weeks and dh is giving me hell. ((hugs))

goodheart

Tue, Mar 17 2009, 1:32 am

I have a sil that keeps her kids home till they r like 4-5
depending on the kid.anyways I don't think its healthy for the kid
to be home with the mother and baby. I personally think
that a child needs to play with their own age.
also the longer u keep ur son home. the harder it is
gonna be to send him no matter when u decide.

Tamiri

Tue, Mar 17 2009, 1:41 am

amother wrote:

Your son is very lucky to have you as a mother. You are looking out for his best interests! Are you saying that you would like to keep him home for age 5 as well? If your DH is so worried, why not teach your son to read by yourself? It's not that hard, and there are wonderful workbooks available for when he is ready (not your DH being ready - your son!). He loses out on nothing by being in a loving, caring environment and you yourself say he's content - what could be wrong here? It's probably a good idea to have other children over for play dates, just to get him re-acclimated socially after a bad experience last year but I am sure if you teach him the basics of sharing, kindness, being a good friend etc. he will do fine when you do decide to send him to a program.
Yasher koach, he is a privledged child.

greenfire

Tue, Mar 17 2009, 3:06 am

I had my dd in a playgroup at age 4 instead of school - the one downside we had at 5 in kindergarten was that the other kids had already learned the whole alef-beis and knew each other ... she had a hard adjustment ... but with a lot of help she caught up ...

shalhevet

Tue, Mar 17 2009, 3:14 am

I don't know where you stand on this hashkafically, but we believe a 3 year old boy should be in cheder, learning alef-beis, and starting his formal Torah education (of course in a preschool setting with plenty of playing time too).

greenfire

Tue, Mar 17 2009, 3:20 am

yeah and the girls should be baking at home & learning to clean ...

Tue, Mar 17 2009, 3:47 am

my almost 4 year old is in what I would personally consider an advanced program where he's already learning nekudos. but if he was still home with me, he would be so much less knowledgable. I believe it does depend on the kid but personally for social reasons I would want him in some sort of program with interaction with kids his age

cubbie

Tue, Mar 17 2009, 3:56 am

I think it depends on your kid and what you are able to offer him at home - from a learning point of view there is nothing they can't learn at home - it's whether or not they are lacking from missing out on social interaction.
I know a few kids in my neighbourhood who were home until gan chova (age 5) 3 boys who didn't lack in any way they used to play together in the park everyday and spend a lot of time at each others houses and had no social issues because of it, they went into gan and had very few teething problems. But there was also one girl who I don't think it was in her best interest to keep her home so long, the boys didn't want to play with her because she was a girl and so she spent her time with the babies and toddlers, but playing on their level, snatching toys because that's what the babies were doing, refusing to use the toilet because all her "friends" were still in diapers, tantruming like the toddlers etc She had a lot of difficutly settling into gan and is still a bit of an outsider there socially.
As I said, you know your kid and what will benefit him.

wtr

Tue, May 07 2013, 11:18 pm

You are your child's first teacher. You know your child better than anyone else. Each child is different, and has different needs. Offer your child a variety of experiences, he'll let you know where he wants to be. Good luck

Rutabaga

Tue, May 07 2013, 11:21 pm

This thread is from 2009. I hope the OP already made her decision. LOL

wtr

Tue, May 07 2013, 11:30 pm

Thank you. I'm new at this and should have looked at the date. How did you get the emoticons to work?

Rutabaga

Tue, May 07 2013, 11:33 pm

No problem. I'm sure almost everyone has posted on an old thread by accident as a newbie.

As for the emoticons, I just click on the ones the site has right next to the text box.

wtr

Tue, May 07 2013, 11:45 pm

Thanks again. Very Happy

greenfire

Wed, May 08 2013, 12:06 pm

I wonder how he adjusted ... is he in grade 4 or grade 5 now ...

OP do tell us - it'll be like a case study Wink

flowerpower

Wed, May 08 2013, 3:32 pm

I wouldn't! He is fine now but next year he will be older and need more stimulation and social time.

alis_al_kulana

Mon, Jan 15 2018, 1:39 pm

I have the same question. Have a very difficult toddler and and older easier child..
Debating if I should get a part time help to take him to trips and give me a break. Instead of sending him to school next year.

Academically in not concerned, he's a smart kid and picking up his letters aged 3 on his own.

Socially, he has a lot of anxiety and is very reluctant to go to play group every day, but I'm told he's a very good kid . They never have any behavior issues.

He likes to be babied and refuses toilet training and getting himself dressed, and I don't push it because I feel hell do it in his own time.

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