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Hugs



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Petra




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 17 2018, 9:13 pm
So, I just learned that some people on this site "hug" as a way to indicate negative response to one's post.

That is one of the rudest, most passive aggressive acts I've heard of.

And I thought it was a genuine expression of caring.
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Boca00




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 17 2018, 9:26 pm
It totally is passive-aggressive and rude when a hug is misused (obviously I am not referring to situations that call for empathy).

Just curious, what did you think when people hugged controversial or innocuous posts? What would the genuine caring be about in those cases?
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Jewishfoodie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 17 2018, 9:29 pm
Petra wrote:
So, I just learned that some people on this site "hug" as a way to indicate negative response to one's post.

That is one of the rudest, most passive aggressive acts I've heard of.

And I thought it was a genuine expression of caring.


Maan, Petra, you took the words out of my mouth! Well, not literally but I cannot agree with u more! It's diabolical! How did amother start such a ridiculous trend? It's heartless. If its source is in the secular world, that's even stupider. The reason I imagine Ima was created was exactly for the purpose of strengthening one another by showing each other "Imi anochi batzara" as, in G-d's image, "I am with you in your pain." it's for Jewish women, by Jewish women. It's just wacky that a hug can have negative connotations! Sad, too..
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BrachaBatya




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 17 2018, 9:33 pm
That's so weird. I don't make it on here every day but honestly, I had no idea people would use hugs in a negative way! Why? How crazy.
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happyfaces




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 17 2018, 9:54 pm
Just got huged in the spirit airline thread. I wish there's a way I can see who it was.
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 17 2018, 9:56 pm
Old story...I get hugged at the most random posts... I am not even sure what the passive aggresser would disagree with there.

Last edited by flowerpower on Wed, Jan 17 2018, 10:05 pm; edited 1 time in total
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tigerwife




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 17 2018, 10:01 pm
happyfaces wrote:
Just got huged in the spirit airline thread. I wish there's a way I can see who it was.


Revealing huggers has been suggested numerous times as a solution to this problem.

I believe that no one should be forced to read devious intentions in an innocuous action. If no one believes a hug to be offensive, it will not be.
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Jewishfoodie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 17 2018, 10:03 pm
Maybe an old story, but how about we rewrite the narrative? Someone with some "weight" on Ima start a thread that every Ima could agree; from today on, a hug button is exactly that. No anon posters on that thread. I'll bet you'll see how many ima's agree it should be used only for good.
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amother
Maroon


 

Post Wed, Jan 17 2018, 10:05 pm
Jewishfoodie wrote:
Maan, Petra, you took the words out of my mouth! Well, not literally but I cannot agree with u more! It's diabolical! How did amother start such a ridiculous trend? It's heartless. If its source is in the secular world, that's even stupider. The reason I imagine Ima was created was exactly for the purpose of strengthening one another by showing each other "Imi anochi batzara" as, in G-d's image, "I am with you in your pain." it's for Jewish women, by Jewish women. It's just wacky that a hug can have negative connotations! Sad, too..


It’s not a secular thing I only see it on imamother.

I still vote we completely eliminate hugs and go back to how things were.
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Jewishfoodie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 17 2018, 10:07 pm
amother wrote:
It’s not a secular thing I only see it on imamother.


Isn't that even sadder?
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Wed, Jan 17 2018, 10:24 pm
amother wrote:
It’s not a secular thing I only see it on imamother.

I still vote we completely eliminate hugs and go back to how things were.


This was discussed on this thread and (on page 4) Yael decided to remove it from specific forums.

http://www.imamother.com/forum.....art=0
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Petra




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 17 2018, 11:34 pm
My eyes have been opened and I wish they weren't. I prefer to think of the "hugs" as just that but now I'm jaded. Instead of removing the "hug" sign, just add a "thumbs down" as well. The worlds a lot better off with honesty and less sarcasm. People want to express their disapproval, do it. Don't be so contemptuous.
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Snow White




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 17 2018, 11:42 pm
I’m pretty new here and had no idea that hugs were derogatory. I feel bad now that I hugged a few posts. I was honestly just trying to show love
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Wed, Jan 17 2018, 11:45 pm
Snow White wrote:
I’m pretty new here and had no idea that hugs were derogatory. I feel bad now that I hugged a few posts. I was honestly just trying to show love

Same here.. Now I have to go unhug a bunch of posts Rolling Eyes
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Jewishfoodie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 17 2018, 11:50 pm
amother wrote:
Same here.. Now I have to go unhug a bunch of posts Rolling Eyes


Don't. You hugged because you truly felt for the person. Don't perpetuate a bad thing. You did a good thing.

The only people who should "unhug" are the passive aggressive, lonely mean-spirited people. Is that u? It is not! U gave a virtual hug. And someone felt good. Mitzvah.
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ellacoe




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 18 2018, 12:29 am
Snow White wrote:
I’m pretty new here and had no idea that hugs were derogatory. I feel bad now that I hugged a few posts. I was honestly just trying to show love


Me too!
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oliveoil




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 18 2018, 1:08 am
The reality is that until there is a 'dislike' button, the hug button will be used that way.
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WhatFor




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 18 2018, 1:13 am
Snow White wrote:
I’m pretty new here and had no idea that hugs were derogatory. I feel bad now that I hugged a few posts. I was honestly just trying to show love


Don't worry! Hugs are generally interpreted as love, especially where someone posts something that's obviously particularly upsetting.

It's more like when you see hugs on a controversial post that it's probably passive aggressive and sarcastic.
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Rutabaga




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 18 2018, 1:29 am
Just FYI, while it definitely happens that people use the hug button sarcastically sometimes it happens by accident when scrolling down a thread using a mobile phone or tablet. I have personally come across posts that I've unintentionally hugged. I unhug (is that a word?) if I catch it but I'm sure I haven't caught every single accidental hug.
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InnerMe




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jan 18 2018, 3:39 pm
Petra wrote:
So, I just learned that some people on this site "hug" as a way to indicate negative response to one's post.

That is one of the rudest, most passive aggressive acts I've heard of.

And I thought it was a genuine expression of caring.


Listen to me Petra, and all other posters that believe in humanity:
I'd like to think that most hugs are just that. Love. Sympathy. I'm happy for you. I'm sad for you. You are awesome! Perhaps reality is so. Perhaps not. As long as hugs aren't tagged with a SN we won't know.

BUT- why go there?? Save yourself aggravation & hurt & upset and just assume rightfully or wrongfully that the hug was one of the above. Someone hugged me? Yippee. Someone sent some love my way! If the hugger had any malicious intent it's just tough luck on them because the intent magically turned into something great for me.

So keep that innocence. You don't hug passive aggressively. And just take in the love and warmth from Imas all over the globe.

Now, bring it on!

Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug
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