Nervous- find out about sems tomorrow

amother

Brown

Thu, Jan 18 2018, 6:13 pm

Chayalle wrote:

I remember when I didn't get into seminary, one of my teachers told me that Hashem must want me to be able to know the feeling of rejection, and that now that I know the feeling, I should never have to experience it again!

Two weeks later I got in on pending. I always appreciated that message, and I can't think of any rejection I've experienced since then B"H.

Consider yourself blessed! I've had more rejections in my life than I care to think about. It's hard, but I try to keep in mind that when one door closes, another one opens and that it was meant to be.

amother

Papaya

Thu, Jan 18 2018, 6:41 pm

amother wrote:

Its a part of life that really really stinks. Everyone has an ego.

It's true that it's part of life, but for teens...they are oh so fragile, so rejection is just... devastating. But most go on and grow on, and become more compassionate and humble for having experienced it...

ruby slippers

Thu, Jan 18 2018, 7:24 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Wow- you are a tzadekes- I would have been so hurt had a teacher said that to me. Its an odd statement- its like you deserve to be punished so you know what it feels like. I guess your teacher knew what would work for you. Her bracha at the end was excellent though.

amother

Amethyst

Thu, Jan 18 2018, 7:30 pm

amother wrote:

I'm curious what seminaries have sent out their acceptance letters already? We were told not to expect them until mid to late February.

The seminaries that are part of the joint sem application- They are on a list that has approved credit through Stern College and Touro college. Some examples are Michlala, Midreshet Tehilla, Sharfman's etc.

amother

Amethyst

Thu, Jan 18 2018, 7:34 pm

amother wrote:

Oh Chayalle! thank you for sharing this! Not quite the same, but my daughter didn't get into overnight camp and I have been struggling with how to discuss it positively - probably because its hurtful to me too so I'm not sure what would be helpful for her to hear. Your comment really gave me a nice way to look at it. Now I'm looking forward to when she comes home today Smile

I hope your talk went ok with your dd. My dd was not accepted to a camp she wanted 2 summers ago. I totally understand how you feel. It is like a punch in the gut and no one wants their child to feel rejected.
Like someone else posted, when one door closes another opens - it just stinks to get smack in the head by the first door! (that's my own 2 cents).

singleagain

Thu, Jan 18 2018, 8:05 pm

I want to share my story, but phone swyping, please excuse mistakes:

I remember my experience. I had applied to two places. Don't get into either one. One, which I had what I thought was a very positive interview, totally devastated me (the other was not the greatest interview and it didn't bother me as much, except that it meant I wasn't in anywhere)

I just recall, after that first rejection, crying my eyes out and calling a friend who was actually very helpful in the moment. But after the rejection from the second place I recall walking around in denial that I wasn't going anywhere. In my yearbook, we had contact info+what was next year's plan. Mine said "undecided" .... I went through summer trying to accept the fact that I would have to go right to college and not have my gap year. I barely talked about it bc I didn't want to accept it.

I think it was like August, when a neighbor put me in touch with the principal of a very different School than what I had applied to. My mom came with me and we spoke to him and he said St like "we'll see you in September" I had only a few weeks to get ready but it ended up being one of the best years of my life.

Of course going through those months of uncertainly was the hardest thing I had to deal with at that time... However looking back, I'm reminded of a wonderful picture I saw years ago (I think right here in this site)

If you can't see image:

God's 3 answers to your prayers
1. Yes
2. Not yet
3. I have something better in mind

(Link was broken, but I followed it back and realized I actually posted it back in 2012. From a friend's FB page)

amother

Brown

Thu, Jan 18 2018, 8:11 pm

amother wrote:

Lol. I was the one who posted that, and yes it does hurt to be slammed by that first door. Just yesterday we received a rejection from a school that we had very strong pull.

mommy3b2c

Thu, Jan 18 2018, 8:17 pm

amother wrote:

Rejection is part of life.

Not everyone gets into their seminary of choice, not everyone gets into their college of choice, not everyone gets their job of choice.

I don't understand all the drama (and didn't when I was at that stage either).

Everybody dies. It’s a part of life. I totally don’t get the drama. Whatever. Just move on.

PinkFridge

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 5:47 am

eema1 wrote:

My computer is really slow right now. I wanted to find a link to something but can't do it at the moment. Google Justice Roberts commencement address and you'll probably get his speech at his son's middle school graduation. The whole speech (I think I heard it all) is great, and relevant to this thread is what he has to say on failure.

Beingreal

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 6:36 am

I got rejected from 3 seminaries and it was painful. I got accepted in a 4th but then 4 weeks before sem started we got the call that they overcrowded the girls and since I was the last they accepted they said no. So I got accepted in another seminary 2 weeks before the year started and I made amazing friends there!

amother

Pink

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 6:44 am

Rejection hurts all around...more so when we see our gorgeous kids rejected. Two words help me and my kids along...מין השמים.
So by my dd got into her first choice but no way can we accept place without heavy and I mean heavy discounts . So we are working on an arrangement but I'm scared we won't get enough of a cut and she won't be able to go. We won't take out loans dmfor this as we have no way of paying loans back.
Good luck to your daughter op and mazal tov!

Chayalle

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 6:57 am

eema1 wrote:

I didn't see it that way. The rejection hurt - but the fact is, people go thru different things in life.

The teacher told me she once had a student who aced all exams easily, straight A's......and the girl was devastated when she failed her first road test (ha! So did I!). Teacher told her - you need to know what failing a test feels like to others. So Hashem gave you the experience.

As an adult, I'm glad I know what the pain of rejection felt like (and failing a test). I hope I grew from the experience. I didn't see it as a punishment - but rather as a broadening of the spectrum of my experiences in life. Perhaps I can understand others better (including my own kids!)

It says in Tehillim - Kol Haneshama Tehallel Kah - Praise Hashem with your entire soul. I have learned that that perek includes many different musical instruments - some used to play happy tunes, and some more melancholy. The message here is to serve Hashem in all situations, with every facet that our soul experiences, with the entirety of our soul. Life in this world has ups and downs, and we can reach into our depths and climb to new heights when we channel our experiences to growth.

Chayalle

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 7:00 am

amother wrote:

One of my sisters seriously dated someone - he was talking about taking her to meet his family, they were literally ready to get engaged - and then he called it off. I can't describe how painful this was, but she got thru it like the trooper she is...and after some time went on to marry someone who (in my observation) is actually much more suited to her, and she's very happy B"H.

I like what you said - the bolded. So true.

SixOfWands

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 7:18 am

Frank Bruni wrote an editorial about college acceptances several years ago that everyone with a child applying to seminary/yeshiva/college should read.

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/0......html

Its ends with a letter that parents wrote to their son before acceptances came out. I'll be doing the same when DD1 faces this next year:

Quote:

Dear Matt,

On the night before you receive your first college response, we wanted to let you know that we could not be any prouder of you than we are today. Whether or not you get accepted does not determine how proud we are of everything you have accomplished and the wonderful person you have become. That will not change based on what admissions officers decide about your future. We will celebrate with joy wherever you get accepted — and the happier you are with those responses, the happier we will be. But your worth as a person, a student and our son is not diminished or influenced in the least by what these colleges have decided.

If it does not go your way, you’ll take a different route to get where you want. There is not a single college in this country that would not be lucky to have you, and you are capable of succeeding at any of them.

We love you as deep as the ocean, as high as the sky, all the way around the world and back again — and to wherever you are headed.

Mom and Dad

amother

Papaya

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 7:22 am

SixOfWands wrote:

Quote:

Just perfect. Filing away in my head for when it's my kids' turns. Thank you for sharing.