Girls school monsey

amother

Lime

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 3:15 am

Ok tangerine, Suffice it to say if I had a school and you were a parent there, I’d throw you out too. I don’t know who you are, but just reading your posts makes me think this.

happyone

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 8:05 am

I am not personally acquainted with BYCC but I called two friends that send there. One is from chassidish background, the other is not. One parent is a BT. Both are extremely satisfied with both the administration and the academics. So I guess it's very subjective and only based on an individual relationship with a school and their interpretation thereof . Bear in mind, anyone that wasn't accepted in any school, or was kicked out will bear a grudge. We will never hear the other side of the story.

amother

Teal

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 8:59 am

amother wrote:

Ok tangerine, Suffice it to say if I had a school and you were a parent there, I’d throw you out too. I don’t know who you are, but just reading your posts makes me think this.

sorry but it's this judgmental behavior that the schools have and it's wrong. Many parents and girls got burned in BYCC and nothing to do with breaking school rules. I agree with tangerine and she has all the right to be upset after having a bad experience. You on the other hand are judging her based on the way she comes across in a post . I sure hope you don't open a school one day.

amother

Olive

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 9:23 am

When someone (forget who and can't scroll to find it) mentioned BYCC I was waiting for all the lashon hara to start.

All my girls went there my oldest is 27 and my youngest just graduated.
I am defiantly not from the wealthy popular family. Unfortunately we had to go on food stamps ect.
Mrs. Zaks does not treat me or all my girls differently.
We left on great terms and we still owe a lot of money.
They are real caring people in the end.
Yes Mrs. Zaks could come across hostile but she has a school that needs money to run and to pay teachers (I have a relative who was a teacher there. She only has positive things to say about them).
The only fault I find with the Zaks is they should have someone else deal with the money part. She cares so much for the girls , a principal from another school came over to me to tell me how Mrs. Zaks was fighting so hard to get my daughter into BYM.
Her having to raise money to run the school puts so much stress onto her that she takes it out on people but deep down she really cares about all the students.

Yes there will never be 100% of all people that will agree but I feel the school prepares the girls very well and they do get a very good education.

5S5Sr7z3

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 10:31 am

I'm happy to post under my screen name. Many people know me on this site, and in real life, and know my stories to be true. Sorry, but this is going to be long.

Tangerine amother was referring to me when she said about chassidish people being thrown out after 2 years. They told me this to my face. Do not start on me about their rules and bla bla because we were a model family, following every last rule to the letter. So don't blame that. They told us that they have to take chassidish people, otherwise they get complaints from the local rabbanim, but they throw them out after 2-3 years simply because they don't like chassidim. So that year was our turn. They did assure us that it's not personal at all. It's just the way they are. I did tell them that I am happy to be the first to open my mouth about the way they treat people. They begged me not to, because, you know, it's loshon hora. But ahavas yisrael, bein adam lachaveiro, all that doesn't matter. The loshon hora is the problem.

I have many neighbors that used to send to chofetz chaim. Please note the used to.

Family A - their daughter was being horribly bullied. It was heartbreaking to see the shell of a person this child turned into. When the parents sat down with the Zaks' to see what can be done, they were told that if their daughter does not have enough self esteem to handle a little bit of teasing, they should leave. They did. That very day. They left the meeting, emptied their girls lockers, and left mid-year.

Family B - they have a daughter that's now in a special ed school. Rabbi and Mrs Zaks, in their great wisdom, convinced the parents that their daughter is severely learning disabled, and emotionally disturbed on top of that. This perfectly normal girl is now in a school that caters to learning disabled, disturbed children, and she has now turned into a huge problem child after spending a few years in a special ed school where she does belong.

The person that was told chassidish people are a cancer - I know the family that was told this.

A friend of mine had an interview there. Within the first few minutes they were told that not only is chofetz chaim not for them, but they will happily print them out all the paperwork needed to register their daughter in public school.

A close friend of mine told me that when she was a student there, a classmate of hers was expelled due to acting out. The girls mother happened to be in the hospital, seriously ill and half dead. Any normal 10 year old child would act out in such a situation. Where was their compassion then?

When discussing tuition, which I never had a problem paying in full (never asked them for a discount), I asked if the building fund payments can be broken up to be paid throughout the year in more manageable payments. We were asked why we don't get any govt assistance, and we should get paid in cash so we can qualify for assistance so we'll be able to swing the building fund payment in one lump sum. In the same breath, Mrs Zaks pitched in that they do not offer the govt lunch program because they are a very exclusive wealthy school and most families wouldn't qualify. They also asked my husband why he has such a nerdy job, and if he'd only look harder, he'd find one that pays better so we can donate money to them. Fortunately neither myself or my husband have any self esteem problems, and made it clear to them that we are very happy with the jobs we have thankyouverymuch.

This I witnessed at PTA. I was chatting with Mrs Zaks as we were walking toward the exit because I was leaving. Mrs X entered the building and came toward us. Mrs Zaks left me mid-sentence, went over to Mrs X and loudly started rebuking her in front of a crowd of parents that how dare she walk into her school building dressed the way she is, it's a shanda, and she's embarrassing the school going around dressed like that. The woman was dressed like your typical frum litvish woman - duty length skirt, thick black tights, loose sweater and short wig. Mrs X turned around and left with a burning red face without speaking to her girls teachers. Family X no longer sends their girls there.

For us, it was the little things that I think back to now that make me glad we were chucked before too much damage was done.

My daughter broke her foot and was required to wear sneakers for a while after her cast came off. I went down to the school in person to speak to the principal about this, and to ask if it was okay if the sneakers were not solid black, which is their rule for footwear. It's not easy finding solid black sneakers. They first suggested I go to a local Jewish store, where the principal noticed they had a solid black sneaker on their display - it was "only" $110, she told me. They agreed to sneakers with a white sole after I explained very respectfully, in dollar amounts, how much work I had to miss for doctors and specialist appointments, and simply staying home with her because none of my friends or relatives were willing to host her while I went to work. Had she not been my own daughter I wouldn't either have wanted to host her - it was a bad break with a large laceration that was bleeding for days, she had to be carried around the first 2-3 days (to the bathroom, etc) and an 8 year old girl is not exactly easy to carry around.

Sure, every school has its pros and cons. Every. Single. One. But for some, the cons far outweigh anything positive about it. They need money for their building?? Why didn't they think of that before building? Did they think it would build itself? Is there a reason they can't be NICE to people? My daughters former class had the parallel class closed due to too many students "leaving" aka getting thrown out. She is now in a different school with many of her former classmates from chofetz chaim.

To the amother making it sound like the Zaks' are saints - are you their daughter? You sound like her.

To the amother that would also get rid of a person that has been deeply hurt like Tangerine for absolutely no reason - please do us all a favor and send your girls there. Your judgemental attitude is exactly what the school is looking for. There are more people that have negative things to say about that place than the people posting the nice things.

To the amother thrilled how they fought to get your daughter into high school - they pride themselves on each of their students getting accepted to their first choice of high schools, and that they are known that not a single one of their students was ever not accepted to a local high school of their choice.

For further insults, please have the decency to do so under your screen name.
One of my closest friends also has a doozy of a story of her time in chofetz chaim. I'll be back to post it if she doesn't want to.

To the OP - please, if you're going to consider chofetz chaim, please please do very careful and thorough research. Ask people in real life, not just a bunch of anonymous screen names on a chat site. They have a high turnover of students, and that's a huge red flag. I truly wish I had known all this before wasting 2 years of our lives there.

Blessing1

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 11:13 am

One thing I don't understand is why chassidish people would want to sent to a litvish school. You'll never see a litvish girl in a chassidish school.
My grandma work as a secretary in chofetz Chaim, she has so many stories to tell of the way the principal treats people. My grandma is always careful to be extra nice to the girls & parent.

5S5Sr7z3

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 11:25 am

Blessing1 wrote:

While I wouldn't consider myself chassidish in any way anymore, we were quite frum when we sent there. There's no reason I wouldn't have wanted my daughter to have a solid Bais Yaakov education at the time - I myself went to a litvish Bais Yaakov. I don't know if you live in Monsey, but the local chassidish schools tend to lean toward the very extreme right, and such a place is not for everyone regardless of how they grew up. Their academic level is usually close to nothing at worst. At best, the girls graduate from those schools knowing how to scrape along with a very very basic education.

Generally the chassidish people that want to send there - if you can even call them that - are considered 'heimish' by Monsey standards. Just plain frum people who chose a different path in life.

tobee

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 11:42 am

Simple. We're chassidishe. We don't belong to a specific chassidus and are not the typical chassidishe family. (From home I mean). The women drive,grandmother's too, how crazy is that?!! And we wear neutral tones of nail polish(gasp). there r no cookie cutter schools for us in Monsey. I want a frum ehrlicha, amazing education for my girls not a chassidishe school without an education to match. Is that too much to ask? Can't u give us a chance? accept us for who we r. Fine upstanding ppl. who want the best for their daughters? We just want the best for our girls and can't afford to open our own chassidish school. And if my daughter want to marry a guy without a shtriemel it's ok with us, we simply want Ehrlich children who want to do Hashems will.

Last edited by tobee on Fri, Jan 19 2018, 2:06 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Honeydew

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 11:54 am

Ha! As if their daughter would ever even visit a site like this!

amother

Honeydew

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 12:02 pm

To the one way back who said it's not lashon hara to talk about a school bec it's not about a specific person- mods? Can we get this thread closed?? It's sad to see that frum people are capable of writing things like this about a person. What's wrong with just saying-
"look into BYCC very carefully. They may be an academic school and teach your child a lot but you may not agree with a lot that goes on there. PM for more details" That would be a lot more l'toeles
And no, I am not their daughter! Just horrified that someone could write this all when there are so many thrilled people there.

amother

Gray

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 12:02 pm

tobee wrote:

Simple. We're chassidishe. We don't belong to a specific chassidus and are not the typical chassidishe family. (From home I mean). The women drive,grandmother's too, how crazy is that?!! And we wear neutral tones of nail polish(gasp). there r no cookie cutter schools for us in Monsey. I want a frum ehrlicha, amazing education for my girls NOT a chassidishe school without an education to match. Is that too much to ask? Can't u give us a chance? accept us for who we r. Fine upstanding ppl. who want the best for their daughters? We just want the best for our girls and can't afford to open our own chassidish school. And if my daughter want to marry a guy without a shtriemel it's ok with us, we simply want Ehrlich children who want to do Hashems will.

Yup, it's either super chassidish or nothing.
BDY and Bais Shifra Miriam come to mind but both at this point are pretty much Chassidish. And from what I know, Bais Shifra Miriam can really use improvement in their education.

amother

Honeydew

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 12:04 pm

amother wrote:

Ok tangerine, Suffice it to say if I had a school and you were a parent there, I’d throw you out too. I don’t know who you are, but just reading your posts makes me think this.

triple ditto!

Blessing1

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 12:08 pm

So if you're open minded chassidish that doesn't belong in a chassidish school, send to a more modern school not litvish.

cnc

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 12:10 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

So if you're open minded chassidish that doesn't belong in a chassidish school, send to a more modern school not litvish.

Why?
Chances are they they're not comfortable with the hashkafa and tznius rules of a more modern school. Years ago the chassidish and litvish people all went to school together .

amother

Gray

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 12:11 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

So if you're open minded chassidish that doesn't belong in a chassidish school, send to a more modern school not litvish.

Sorry, Heimish Chassidish people do not belong in modern schools. Especially that in monsey the Litvish schools have a mix of Heimishe parents. I think it's perfect for Neutral Chassidish/Heimishe girls.

amother

Tangerine

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 12:15 pm

Tangerine another here.

Do you ladies really think I was born this way? No. My terrible experience with a certain School in Monsey has made me this way. Yes, I've become slightly bitter. I was very badly burnt by people who are supposed to educate our daughters and be role models in the community. I don't think it's too much to ask them to have a little bit of respect for humanity. Obviously I'm not the only one that had an issue. Somehow, all other schools managed to be nice and decent even to the people they are asking to leave their school.

Blessing1 - why would I want to send to a school that's more modern than I am? Seriously, what are families like mine to do? The chassidish schools wouldn't take us because we're too modern, the litvish schools wouldn't take us because we are too chassidish. BYCC would seem to be the perfect place, except the people running it have an issue with the human race.

crust

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 12:27 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

So if you're open minded chassidish that doesn't belong in a chassidish school, send to a more modern school not litvish.

Where should an open minded chassidish but not modern not bummy family send their girls?

Blessing1

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 12:33 pm

I would think that the chassidish girls won't feel comfortable in litvish schools.

amother

Tangerine

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 12:35 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

I would think that the chassidish girls won't feel comfortable in litvish schools.

They certainly wouldn't feel comfortable in a much more modern school.

cnc

Fri, Jan 19 2018, 12:43 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

I would think that the chassidish girls won't feel comfortable in litvish schools.

I disagree. There are plenty of chassidish people in litvish schools and continuing your train of thought- if they won't feel comfortable in litvish schools how do you think they'll feel in a modern school?