Splitting a meal | Imamother

amother

Hotpink

Tue, Feb 06 2018, 1:54 pm

My family is taking out a sibling to celebrate something and we've never done this before. How do people usually split the bill? Each couples pays for their meal or divide the total bill equally? Some people think it shouldn't be split equally because they will order less but I think it's probably complicated for have separate bills for each family. What's the norm?

emzod42

Tue, Feb 06 2018, 2:09 pm

I don't know if there's a norm, but the easiest thing to do is to divide equally, especially if it's just couples (not one family with 7 and one with 3, etc.). To avoid resentment, get some things to share and try to order along similar lines. It may be best to discuss how you will split this beforehand so that everyone knows going in. Other options: ask at the beginning for separate checks or do the math yourself and write the amount you want charged to each card on the check or pay with cash.

WhatFor

Tue, Feb 06 2018, 3:06 pm

Ideally you'd split equally between everyone. If the menu is readily available online, you can all look beforehand and decide what price range you all expect to be spending. (Don't quibble over a few dollars.)

If someone plans to order significantly more, then you can each pay your own (but to make it easier for waitstaff, ideally you split on all credit cards equally, and venmo/ pay each other separately.)

ETA- if a couple is particularly adamant about not paying more, if could be that they're stretched and are on a strict budget. As long as they cover their own cost and pitch in for the person of honor, just let it go.

Obviously, you split equally the costs for whoever you're treating.

simba

Tue, Feb 06 2018, 3:14 pm

My family splits the bill evenly between the couples that are treating out the celebrating couple. Try and be mentchlich with what you order that it is in similar range to the others.
If people are not comfortable with this notify the waiter before that you want separate checks as it is annoying to figure out after who ordered what drink.

Last edited by simba on Tue, Feb 06 2018, 3:22 pm; edited 1 time in total

SixOfWands

Tue, Feb 06 2018, 3:19 pm

amother wrote:

The first rule is that the sibling who is being taken out pays nothing. We generally cover the spouse as well, if they come along, because that's just the nice things to do.

Splitting the bill should be discussed in advance, so there are no nasty surprises. But I favor even split. Its easier, and generally fair unless one person orders only a side salad. If you do have each person pay for him/herself, see if they'll do separate bills, then everyone throw extra in for the person being celebrated. Or make clear that everyone is paying cash. Its not fair to tell the server to put different amounts on several cards.

tichellady

Tue, Feb 06 2018, 3:35 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

Agreed. If there is a big spending disparity the person who ordered more can pay more or all of the tip.

ra_mom

Tue, Feb 06 2018, 4:34 pm

We split the bill between the people paying (not the one being taken out).
But if you have people who have specifically said they want to order less and pay less then let everybody ring up a separate order to pay.

Bnei Berak 10

Wed, Feb 07 2018, 5:04 am

Ask the restaurant in advance that you want a separate bill for you and DH. And always be very clear with other participants in advance of how to settle this. I want to be able to feel comfortable ordering whatever I like without having someone else to be paying for it.

Sadie

Wed, Feb 07 2018, 5:17 am

We all get one bill for the table and then everyone puts down cash for their share, and to cover the birthday girl or boy. Waiters have never had a problem making change for individuals and we leave a nice tip.

creditcards

Wed, Feb 07 2018, 9:24 am

Why doesn't everyone order separately and pay their bill? So what's if you are all eating at one table. Why shouldn't the staff charge everyone's card separately? You are all separate customers. You just devide evenly the one you are treating.