Wear a snood to a store in Monsey

southernbubby

Tue, Feb 20 2018, 10:22 am

Blumy wrote:

The ACT is disgusting not they.

Blumy, I would agree with you that if a woman was asked to dress respectfully for a family simcha or to come to shul, and that would require a certain level of hair covering,it would be disgusting if they would not even try to comply, as if it was disgusting to them to wear the requested type of hair covering. Some people act as though they are victimized if asked to wear tznius clothing or hair covering for a few hours to satisfy their parents, in-laws, or Hashem.

I have been to a few shuls in Monsey and even if, for example, most women in a particular shul wear a double hair covering, they don't expect that of visitors but do expect a basic level of tznius. I also don't think that they would expect someone coming from a more modern community who was invited to a simcha, to wear something that they normally did not wear but it would be proper of that person to at least cover most of their hair with a hat and wear non-revealing clothing.

Since stores are not holy places or places of simcha, I would draw the line there. The stores in Monsey that put up modesty signs don't mention hair coverings. I would say that the type of hair covering that women wear when doing errands is between them and Hashem but is not really a societal issue.

Obviously, before marriage, hair is not a tznius issue at all unless it is worn in a provocative way.

Blumy

Tue, Feb 20 2018, 10:33 am

I think the reason why it bother s me so much it because it just doesn't go. You have a women that are tznius in every other area covering knees not tight clothing and then her hair is showing so obviously. I know everyone has their own nisyonos but I think it's a pressure type of thing. It became the style. It's hard to explain and not trying to make an argument over it. I just don't understand why people would do it. Don't think it's even attractive.

southernbubby

Tue, Feb 20 2018, 10:49 am

Blumy wrote:

You are probably right about peer pressure and that has affected tznius and the way that people keep it. Once a few people in a crowd get lax than it does snowball into other people letting their guard down as well.

At that point, those of us who don't succumb to peer pressure and we keep up our high standards, probably get more Heavenly reward than someone who is never exposed to that type of peer pressure.

We also don't know just by looking at someone whom we don't personally know, if that is their group's levush or if they have let their own standards go downhill.

As was mentioned earlier, some groups don't hold that the entire head must be covered and apparently have rabbonim who are on board with that but who don't allow laxity in any other aspect of tznius.

Merrymom

Sun, Feb 25 2018, 12:13 pm

The entire point of covering the hair is so that others can see that you're a married woman, both in regard to tznius and to show men that you're not available. So if you have a shaitel and look single, I cannot understand how this is better than a woman with a snood hanging half off her head. Maybe she should be more knowledgeable about what a tefach is, but at least she looks married! I guess this just goes to prove the words of our chachamim, that in the times of Mashiach what is right will be wrong and what is wrong will be (considered) right.

keym

Sun, Feb 25 2018, 12:21 pm

Merrymom wrote:

We have this argument many times. My rav holds that hair is different than the rest. I cannot wear a skin colored skin tight body suit and claim im covered because others need to know im covered. With hair only I need to know im covered. I could cover with my own hair or the most natural wavy shaitel down to my toes. It fulfills the chiyuv of covering erva.
I could choose to shorten it for personal refinement but it wont make me fulfill the inyan of "kisui rosh" any better.

little neshamala

Sun, Feb 25 2018, 1:45 pm

Merrymom wrote:

This topic has been spoken about so many times here...there are many different opinions. . My Rav holds (according to Rav Moshe Feinstein ztl) that tzniyus has nothing to do with covering hair when married, and its not to tell others youre married. The reason is because once youre married your hair takes on an actual sensual ruach that needs to be physically covered, whether by a hat, a soup pot, or someone else's hair. But the point is to cover the hair with the sensual ruach that is reserved for your husband.

Now once yourr covering it with a shaitel, you should also be careful to look tzanuah-but thats nothing to do with it being a shaitel.

Others may hold different things. But many Rabbanim hold this way.

SixOfWands

Sun, Feb 25 2018, 1:55 pm

Merrymom wrote:

Do you have a source for that?

Today, certainly, a wedding ring is a much more common symbol of marriage. No one but a religious Jew would associate hair covering with marriage. So if hair covering is primarily to denote marriage, has it not now been superseded?

tryinghard

Sun, Feb 25 2018, 3:39 pm

Blumy wrote:

The ACT is disgusting not they.

Justification and rationalization. You don't want to think of yourself as judging people, is all. But that is still judging.

Just to clarify, before I get accused otherwise, I personally believe that that act is not correct.

southernbubby

Sun, Feb 25 2018, 3:48 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

http://www.chabad.org/theJewis.....g.htm

According to this article, Merrymom is correct. The head covering reminds the woman and others that her true beauty is reserved for her husband and she is not available to other men.

southernbubby

Sun, Feb 25 2018, 3:56 pm

tryinghard wrote:

I would not divert this thread to an attempt to correct someone's midos. Most of us don't think the word 'disgusting' is the right term to use regarding women who don't cover all of their hair but I get tired of all the bullying. Blumy is someone who has become frum, learned the halacha a certain way, and then possibly feels that everyone should be capable of observing it that way and has probably discovered, as a result of this and a few other threads, that there is more than one approach to hair covering and that we should view any attempt to cover the hair as meritorious because we don't know where a perfect stranger is coming from. I think that Blumy means well and possibly knows people who have lowered their standards in order to follow the crowd, which is not something that we want to see happening.

happyone

Sun, Feb 25 2018, 4:58 pm

I didnt go through each page on this thread, but those of you that are comfortable going to the grocery in a snood, would you wear a snood to work or to a professional office/doctor???
This question is not for those whose PRIMARY headcovering is a snood.

amother

Papaya

Mon, Feb 26 2018, 3:36 am

where I live I have NEVER seen a woman wearing a snood/bandana outside her home. it was NEVER heared of.

then I visited freinds in detroit and saw many women driving their kids do school, shopping at a supermarket or even picking up burgers to go in a snood. and I was like: WOW I LOVE IT- WHY CANT WE WEAR SNOODS ALL DAY LONG???? thats soooo comfy, I wish we wore snoods here ouside of the house too.

I envy you detroit people!!!!

so when I was back home I gave it a try: several ladies looked at me (maybe not in a judging way just wondering whats going on Smile

) and one even came up to me and asked if im ok if I needed help with cooking/shopping/kids - she assumed im not well, maybe having a difficuölt pregnancy or migrene... again, she was super nice but obviously I feld awkward, so I never wore a snood again to our heimishe supermarket Wink

little neshamala

Mon, Feb 26 2018, 7:31 am

happyone wrote:

I wouldnt wear it to work, because in my workplace setting we need to dress professionally.

Definitely would wear it to a dr office.

I really dont look shlumpy when I wear a tichel. I look quite cute in fact

southernbubby

Mon, Feb 26 2018, 10:34 am

amother wrote:

I live in Detroit and always wear a sheital if I go outside my block so I am headed for the bank now in a sheital.

I do, however, see lots of ladies in their snoods and it saves the wear and tear on their wigs. Chabad doesn't go out in public in snoods for the most part (a few drive carpool in snoods) but other smaller communities are also more laid back about the 'dress code'.

Chayalle

Mon, Feb 26 2018, 11:09 am

happyone wrote:

Back when I worked in the office (I've been working from home for close to 15 years) I always wore a wig. Ditto for the doctor's office. Except for those few days when there was the whole Indian Hair breakout - remember that? I remember taking my kids to their dentist appointments in a snood.

But there's a long way between a headcovering being loungewear or bedroom wear, and being suitable for a professional environment. It's just more casual. I feel perfectly comfortable going to the grocery in a long black slinky, a zip-up, and a snood (especially if it's raining!). I wouldn't shop in a nightgown or robe, though - even if they are tznius.