IVF for gender selection

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Feb 21 2018, 10:42 am

amother wrote:

So a couple who is struggling with infertility won’t get the mitzva by doing IVF? I find that disturbing. They went through double the amount of time energy work and pain to conceive a child through ivf.

I dont think all rabbanim hold that way.

amother

Jade

Wed, Feb 21 2018, 11:14 am

what difference does it make it if they get a mitzva for having a child through IVF.

There are thousands of other mitzvos to be doing every second of the day.

Everyone has their tikkun and their mitzva that g-d sends their way.

He knocks on everyone's door with the specific mitzvos for each of our neshomas.

Just remember to open the door.

The trick is not to try to fulfill someone else's tikkun

Mommyg8

Wed, Feb 21 2018, 11:19 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

I dont think all rabbanim hold that way.

I don't think this question is relevant for us in any case. Women don't have ANY chiyuv to have children.

pesek zman

Wed, Feb 21 2018, 11:20 am

Mommyg8 wrote:

I don't think this question is relevant for us in any case. Women don't have ANY chiyuv to have children.

Yes but we daven for our husbands to be able to fullfill the mitzvah

amother

Jade

Wed, Feb 21 2018, 11:21 am

amother wrote:

Trust me, couples who go thur IVF have the opportunity to do mitzvos non IVF people

dont get. Emuna, Bitachon, taking yisurim b'ahava, focusing on HAshms bounty,

trying to fargin people. Why are you so holy, suddenly.

When was the last time you fulfilled the mitvzo of buying from a Yid?

Or looking in on a lonely divorcee?

A lonely old lady?

Or called your shviger?

etc. etc.

MrsDash

Wed, Feb 21 2018, 11:39 am

amother wrote:

Ethical according to who???? You? What makes you the Ethicist?
In our society, boys are very much revered and girls will always be on the women's side.

For the rest of my life I will be alone on my side of the mechitza. Every time I'm in shul, I will have no little girl next to me. I will have to wait for grandchildren to IYH buy a dress for a little girl. Just typing this is making me cry. Who are you??? There are father-son and mother-daughter activities. There are no mother-son activities. Do you know how that makes me feel? Every time the shul posts another mother-daughter night out? Painting, cooking, brunch at school, whatever?!!? It's painful.

My friend who has only girls is also pained, because of how much boys are revered in our culture.

I bet you have both boys and girls, because clearly, you have no idea how other people feel.

If we’re all about sensitivity here, please keep in mind that there are many of us who suffer from IF and would love to have a child of any gender, naturally, without invasive procedures and awful hormones.

pesek zman

Wed, Feb 21 2018, 11:51 am

amother wrote:

Everyone has the opportunity to do those mitzvos not just the infertile

Can I ask what your experience with infertility is?

tichellady

Wed, Feb 21 2018, 12:05 pm

Mommyg8 wrote:

I don't think this question is relevant for us in any case. Women don't have ANY chiyuv to have children.

It’s a machloket if women have the chiyuv.

amother

Cerise

Thu, Feb 22 2018, 8:29 pm

amother wrote:

You seem to have a lot of deep, hurt feelings.
No one understands your pain unless they have been in your shoes.
When you have such a pain it seems on the outside that the people with children of both genders without fertility issues have it better than you.
Trust me, people are dressed up for Purim all the time. They are facing different heartwrenching struggles.
Using IVF for a specific gender if you are blessed with children can often translate into doing work that belongs to HAshm. And what if the desired gender child proofs to be a hell raising
kid? A kid who gives his parents hell on earth? What happens at that point? Can the parent s live peacefuuly ever after? Will the parents not be tormented souls? Is it worth it?

The points you bring up have all crossed my mind. But again, can’t you say that about any fertility treatment? Or even ttc in general?

But I worry I will feel like rose does if I don’t try it.