Staying focused and positive when you feel so far gone....

amother

Aubergine

Wed, Feb 21 2018, 9:46 am

My weight is so far out of control. Over 100 pounds to lose to get to goal.

I have changed eating habits and started exercising regularly. I am seeing results, but they are small and slow.

I am not asking for dieting advice. Or medical advice.

What I need is help staying focused and feeling good about results.

When you need to lose 5 or 10 pounds, losing even a single pound is a significant percentage and step towards that end. But when you have 100 to lose, and you are working so hard, and you lose a single pound in a week - it feels so meaningless. You look in the mirror, and you're just as fat. Your close aren't looser. It feels like nothing.

I keep telling myself that 52 weeks of "nothing" will mean I am halfway to my goal, and half isn't nothing. But that isn't enough. I need more encouragement, more support - and I have none. Nobody is cheering me on. This is just me feeling alone and like I'm banging my head against the wall.

Please, if you have been where I am - or are in this same process with me now, of having tremendous amounts of fat to lose -- what fuels you? What keeps you motivated? What makes your small losses feel meaningful?

amother

Cerise

Wed, Feb 21 2018, 9:52 am

Oh my, I'm totally with you. It is sooooo frustrating to not look skinnier and better and not see the change and have your clothes still not feel loose. It kills the motivation.

I try to focus on feeling good over looking good. Exercise makes me feel strong, eating healthy gives me energy, etc. I don't want junk food because then it drains my energy. Don't make it only about your looks even though that is the main reason.

amother

Lemon

Wed, Feb 21 2018, 10:06 am

I am in a similar situation and can totally understand you. Here are some things that worked for me
- write down on index card, a list of reasons of why you want to be thinner (health, feel good, wear nice cloths.....) Leave it at your night table and every morning read it as you wake up.
- This is good for a craving or getting back into things if you cheat. If you are feeling a craving and desperately want to eat something that you shouldn't be, talk to yourself and say, this is just a hump, the strong crave will pass and I will get through it. keep telling yourself that you have the will and self control to get past it. If you did eat something you didn't want to, tell yourself, it is ok, I don't need to go out on a binge now I can get right back into things. Don't let the one small food control you. You control it
- another good tip is to only allow yourself to eat when sitting down. This is so amazing. I feel as mothers, we don't realize how much we eat standing. We are much more conscious and in control of our food when sitting and will ultimately eat a lot less.

Hatzlacha!!

33055

Wed, Feb 21 2018, 10:48 am

deams wrote:

By setting smaller goals l find if it more motivating. I know I need to loose 100 pounds but if I keep telling my self that I can loose 10 pounds it is so much more rewarding. Or if I weight 229 pounds I will tell myself let's just see that 1 instead of 2. Let me get to 219 pounds, then 199,then 189.... Set smaller goals along the way.

That's exactly what I do. I set 10lb dress size goals. I can look at a 4 lb loss as 40% there. The last 2 or 3 lb goals are the home stretch. I recently lost more than 20lbs and my kids only noticed when they went to hug me. Only one friend saw a difference. And I dropped two sizes.

Don't worry if no one notices. People are busy with their own selves.

amother

Orange

Wed, Feb 21 2018, 12:11 pm

I have sixty pounds to lose.

I recently had a healthy scare and it pushed me to start taking care of myself.

I find that when I focus on pounds it distracts me from my real goal of eating mindfully and with love and kindness. Not cramming and ramming things down my throat.

The day I start eating better, before I lose a pound, I already feel better because my blood sugar is regulated.

So it’s not about the pounds. It’s about living a healthy lifestyle. Asking yourself, will this make me healthier?

Let the pounds take its own natural course. It will eventually come off. Focus instead on eating in a self regulating and happy way.

Because if you just focus on pounds you’re not really changing yourself and that leads to gaining it all back after a bit.

amother

Aubergine

Fri, Feb 23 2018, 12:03 pm

amother wrote:

On one level I am the healthiest fat person you will ever meet. I exercise intensely and regularly. For over a decade my home has almost exclusively whole, organic foods - I buy almost nothing processed - and that which is processed is few ingredients, not chemical concoctions. My cosmetics and toiletries are all natural.
When I eat outside the home, obviously I don't have that control, but there are certain things that I still wont touch no matter what.

It's not about the what I'm eating. It's about how I'm eating. Quantities. Eating when I'm not hungry. This is something I am working hard to address.

But in the meantime, as I work on it, I am seeking always immediate gratification for my efforts and it isn't always there. Doing everything right and losing a pound for the week sucks, to be blunt. I already feel pretty good physically. Probably a lot better than someone my age and size should. Until I look in the mirror. And I am so desperate to feel good progress and that my goal is not a far off dream. Because I know from past attempts I get discouraged easily and will reach a point where I throw up my arms and say, "what's the point?" And I don't want to repeat this.

amother

Aubergine

Fri, Feb 23 2018, 12:07 pm

deams wrote:

I have done this in the past, but it only helps to an extent. Because it's "yay! I reached my first 10 pound loss" but it's also looking in the mirror and saying, "so what? You look exactly the same." And then there are the times that I don't even make my goal. Or I've hit a plateau and I'm doing everything right and I simply break down and can't keep it up anymore.

DVOM

Fri, Feb 23 2018, 12:13 pm

I am an emotional eater, so I say to myself: self, this is not hunger. This is not your body, needing something. This is your mind, your heart, reacting to stress, boredom, sadness, anger. I try to pinpoint what is bothering me, and then I give it up to god. I imagine tying it to a balloon and letting it go up to god, and I ask god to help me. Weird, I know, but this works for me.

DVOM

Fri, Feb 23 2018, 12:15 pm

Right now there is a box of some sort of awesome looking chocolate bark a client gave me sitting on my desk... I'm really tired, which for me is a food trigger. I'm telling myself: self, you are not hungry. You are tired. I will try to nurture that part of myself, put my head down, close my eyes for a few minutes, play a song, to refresh myself. I'll ask god for help. And now the chocolate isn't talking to me as much anymore.

Last edited by DVOM on Fri, Feb 23 2018, 12:41 pm; edited 1 time in total

TranquilityAndPeace

Fri, Feb 23 2018, 12:20 pm

I have told myself that 6 months will IYH pass anyway. Why couldn't it pass with me looking great at the end?

At the beginning of the Spring, I don't look at my 3 inch tomato plants and say, it's going to be months until they yield tomatoes. Every day I water them and make sure they're tied to the stakes and getting sun, but each time I look at them - there's no progress!

I know that planting veggies is a process that takes months. The months will pass anyway. I want them to yield a bountiful harvest and feel accomplished then. I know that's it's impossible to see results day to day or even week to week.

All good things take time!!!

If you want to learn even more patience, try planting fruits!!!

TranquilityAndPeace

Fri, Feb 23 2018, 1:36 pm

Another analogy is watching a 1 year old grow. Stare at her for hours a day and you won't see any progress. Measure her day to day and even one week to the next, and there seems to be no progress.

Yet, when you look at her month to month, you see that she's changing. And when you look at her one year old photos when she's 2, you see there's been enormous change!

That's how weight loss is.

Progress is excruciatingly slow if you measure daily or weekly. Yet all those tiny efforts yield very significant results over time!

You can do it! Keep your eye on each Rosh Chodesh to chart your progress, and in a year, the mirror will tell a beautiful story!