Home

Child's friend calls me by my first name

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

Report offensive ad

View latest: 24h 48h 72h


amother









  
Post Posted: Sun, Oct 14 2007, 12:54 am       Post subject: Child's friend calls me by my first name
My daughter has a sweet friend who comes to our house to play. I also see her when I drop my daughter off at school. She's in second grade.

The friend has always called me by my first name, presumably because she hears her mother calling me that. Since last year I have asked her to please call me Mrs. _____. I'm not comfortable being called by my first name by young children. I'm OK with it once kids are past high school age, or with somewhat younger kids who are on a more familiar basis with me for some specific reason.

Well, despite my requests, this girl just hasn't broken the habit. Maybe two or three times she has called me Mrs. _______, and each time I gave her a BIG smile and once even hugged her and told her how much I appreciated it. But since then, we are back to my first name, and I cringe every time.

Any suggestions? I thought of talking to her mother, who I'm very friendly with. But although I'd like to put a stop to this, I don't want it to seem like a bigger deal than it is. I don't want to unintentionally cause any bad feelings over this.
Back to top

shalhevet









  
Post Posted: Sun, Oct 14 2007, 2:02 am       Post subject: re: Child's friend calls me by my first name
Did you read the other thread about calling by a first name?

So the first question is which country do you live in?
Back to top

amother









  
Post Posted: Sun, Oct 14 2007, 9:20 am       Post subject: re: Child's friend calls me by my first name
I'm in the U.S. I read the other thread, but that was about an adult calling another adult by her first name. I'm talking about a 7-year-old. I am not her peer; I'm her friend's mother. I'm Mrs. _____ to children (but not to other adults).
Back to top

shopaholic









  
Post Posted: Sun, Oct 14 2007, 9:26 am       Post subject:
I dunno. I specifically told my friends to have their kids call me by name. Mrs. ____ is too old for me & it's my MIL's name!
Back to top

greenfire









  
Post Posted: Sun, Oct 14 2007, 9:30 am       Post subject:
ask her to call you Mrs "firstname" ... it's a level ... that's what I say to those who insist their kids call me mrs ... works both ways ...
_________________
_________________
don't wonder why people go crazy ... rather wonder why we don't
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NUTso but cute ~ things balance out Nervous
Back to top

Clarissa









  
Post Posted: Sun, Oct 14 2007, 10:13 am       Post subject: re: Child's friend calls me by my first name
There's a friend of my son's who always calls me Mrs. X even though I tell her to call me by my first name. Funny thing is, I'm not even really Mrs X, as I use my own last name and didn't take my husband's name. I guess that her mother told her to call everyone by their last name, so that's what she does. I'm okay with the first name thing, personally, but I understand those who aren't.

Off-topic but I always had this uncomfortable issue with my in-laws, who didn't want me to call them by their first names, but I wasn't comfortable with Mom and Dad, and of course Mr. and Mrs. didn't work. Everyone has always called my parents by their first names, so that's how I was raised.

OP, it sounds like you're doing everything you can. Positive feedback for doing it the way you want, and gentle reminders when need be.
Back to top

Crayon210









  
Post Posted: Sun, Oct 14 2007, 10:15 am       Post subject:
OP, you should definitely bring it up to the mother of this girl. It's not proper for her to call you by first name.
_________________
Dip the apple in the honey...
Back to top

GAMZu









  
Post Posted: Thu, Oct 18 2007, 10:34 pm       Post subject:
Don't bring it up with her mother. It's not such a great issue that need her involvement.
Just keep on giving small reminders.
Back to top

amother









  
Post Posted: Thu, Oct 18 2007, 10:53 pm       Post subject: re: Child's friend calls me by my first name
How old are you? How many kids do you have?

Maybe it varies by community (I'm also in the US), but I feel that it's pretty acceptable for kids to call young mothers with one or two little kids by their first names-- but then, once a mother is older and has older kids, she would for sure be addressed by Mrs.
Back to top

amother









  
Post Posted: Thu, Oct 18 2007, 10:54 pm       Post subject:
Crayon210 wrote:
OP, you should definitely bring it up to the mother of this girl. It's not proper for her to call you by first name.


OP here: That's how I feel. If I wouldn't let my own child call me by my first name, why should her friend?

I "switch over" to first-name basis with kids who are out of high school... an adult is an adult. But a 7-year-old??? It just really rubs me the wrong way.

That all said... I have a few very close friends who want my kids to call them by their first names, and although I tried to fight it at first, "Mrs. ____" just never caught on with these friends and I've let my kids call them by their first names. They are exceptions, though.
Back to top

justcallmeima









  
Post Posted: Wed, Sep 17 2014, 8:17 pm       Post subject: re: Child's friend calls me by my first name
FWIW, I had this with a good friend of mine. She is from England and my parents are from England. She and I were very close but no children in our community calls adults by their first names. Calling me Mrs. Just, didn't seem right given how close we were. In England, (in my parents days) you called adults Mr. or Mrs. Last Name, but if the parents were very close, you called them Auntie or Uncle First Name. That's what we did with our kids, and it worked for us. Smile Fond memories!
Back to top

zaq









  
Post Posted: Wed, Sep 17 2014, 8:43 pm       Post subject: re: Child's friend calls me by my first name
um, justcallmeima, this thread is 7 years old. Either the little girl has broken the habit, or OP has accepted that she never will. "Auntie Firstname" is a very good solution, though. Some people object to it because, they say, I'm not the child's aunt. Nitpickers.
Back to top
View latest: 24h 48h 72h

Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
Page 1 of 1

Similar Topics Replies Last Post
No new posts my two year old calls me by my first name!
by octopus
10 Wed, Jul 09 2008, 3:35 pm View latest post
No new posts Do you invite grandparents friend to childs Bar Mitzvah?
by amother
27 Sun, Nov 15 2009, 9:01 pm View latest post
No new posts Are you your childs best friend, or subconcious enemy?
by Tefila
7 Mon, Dec 31 2007, 9:46 am View latest post
No new posts did you cry on your childs first day of kindergarten? 7 Sun, Aug 27 2006, 9:13 am View latest post
No new posts Wwyd when a new friend calls you sweetie?
by amother
18 Wed, Sep 17 2014, 7:09 pm View latest post


Jump to:  



Report offensive ad