teens and facebook

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

Teens and facebook

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greenfire

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 5:11 pm

so ... what is your opinion if you see teens on facebook all lying about which school they go to ... is this a problem ... a simple lie ... what else goes along with those lies ... do I tell ... who do I tell ... their parents ... the school shock

Ruchel

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 5:22 pm

Facebook can't cause problems, but it reveals them for sure!

If they only make up about being in another school I think I wouldn't say anything.

ClaRivka

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 6:30 pm

Why on earth would people lie abt what school they go to?
And how do you know that they lie?

Crayon210

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 6:44 pm

I've seen high school students write that they go to a school of the opposite gender. I think it's supposed to be a joke.

Also, schools have networks for those schools. Some schools don't have networks, so students may join a different network.

Ruchel

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 6:51 pm

Yeah. My university doesn't have a network Sad

I'm tempted to join my ex university's network, but I've lost my email!

greenfire

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 8:02 pm

no you are going off tangent here ... the kids are lying - what have they got to hide ...

Crayon210

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 8:06 pm

It's not a tangent-it's an explanation.

chavamom

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 8:09 pm

They may not be lying, but if they can join a "network" for a certain school. If they have friends in the other school, they may join the network, which then shows up with their profile making it appear they are "lying" about what school they go to.

ClaRivka

Thu, Nov 08 2007, 8:12 pm

Reasons for a teenager to lie about which school they go to.

Boys: its a joke and they think theyre being cute. And maybe by putting a girls school as theirs they will get girls in that group to "randomly" ask him what's up with saying ur a girl?

Girls: They want to seem like different people on the web so guys will talk to them. If they say they are from a school that is known for their girls "playing around" then maybe some guy will come on to them and excite their lives.

Either: Their school doesn't have a group and so they chose one that alot of friends are in.

greenfire

Fri, Nov 09 2007, 12:56 am

so I can only imagine why ... that is the whole issue ...

so should I tell their parents or the shool ...

what would you do ?

chavamom

Fri, Nov 09 2007, 1:09 am

Greenfire, I'm wondering how well do you know facebook? MANY of the kids here that have facebook joined "networks" of the local public school - b/c that is where they have friends or b/c there is no network for the local Bais Ya'akov or Yeshiva High School (sort of a "well duh"! moment there, but had to state the obvious). It would appear to someone looking at their profile that they are "lying" about the school they are in. But if you look at the actual page, it doesn't appear that any of them are concealing where they go to school.

I actually asked a few of the girls here why they were all listed with one of the local non-Jewish schools as their "network" and this is what they told me. And yeah, they don't seem to be hiding anything else when you look at their pages - they are very upfront about who their friends are, what school they are in, etc.

I *do* think that some hanhallah might get a shock at some of the stuff that appears on facebook. Apparently teenagers think they live in an alternate universe where no adults can see what they post (or hear what they talk about either, for that matter).

greenfire

Fri, Nov 09 2007, 1:16 am

how do you think I found out about this ... my dd created a facebook ... for her ... with her school name ... and many people wanted to be her "friend" and she saw they all lied ... a 13 year old shocked at the lies of her friends, schoolmates, the prominent children of the community and we both got sick - there you have it

as a mother who has some troubled older kids - this is where it starts ... so once again I worry about the deceit

loveit

Fri, Nov 09 2007, 2:25 am

One doesn't have to join a network anymore to be a part of facebook, so if a teenager lists a different school then it's a lie, not just an attempt to have access by joining a network.

I know that myspace (similar to facebook) does have an option for parents to limit their child's profile but I don't know if that option is available on facebook.

I admit, I have a facebook account and I use it regularly but I don't think it's necessarily ok for teenagers to have them, especially if their school doesn't allow them, then the parents shoudn't either. And - if the child does have an account, I don't think it's ok to lie about information. If they lie about their school so that they don't get caught by the admin for having an account, I don't think they should have an account at all.

chavamom

Fri, Nov 09 2007, 1:47 pm

sarahliz wrote:

One doesn't have to join a network anymore to be a part of facebook, so if a teenager lists a different school then it's a lie, not just an attempt to have access by joining a network.

No, you don't have to be in a network to join, but if you want to be part of a certain social "network" (with listings of local events and such) you do. Like I said, most of the frum teenagers here joined the network of one of the local schools yet it is very clear from their profile page where they go to school.

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