How much to allow your kids to decide on the Shabbos menu?

grin

Sat, Dec 01 2007, 10:13 pm

My girls all love to cook and of course everyone has their own taste. With some of them I compromise - you make this dish your way and this one will be my way - that way everyone has somehting they like to eat. Another one has to be reminded not to re-season what someone else cooked - not everyone likes the extra salt and spiciness! BTW, they're ususally much better than me at garnishing and in general presenting the food nicely.
It's also a big help that it's not all on my head. (They help with other things in the house also.)
This past Shabbos I made avocado salad and surrounded it on the plate with sliced tomatoes - I thought it looked attractive and I also personally like the taste together. One of the girls absolutely detests avocado, and all I heard about from everyone was how unfeeling I had been towards her, putting it together with the tomatoes - no matter that it was one salad out of 5. Made me feel really bad, but I didn't want to make the atmosphere even worse so I just went on to zemiros and DT.

chocolate moose

Sat, Dec 01 2007, 11:06 pm

Our menu is decided on well in advance but my kids don't always at what they ask for, so they don't get too much choice.

Or, for example, I know that ds likes a plain salad, but if I make what he likes, I might make an extra salad or some such.

greenfire

Sun, Dec 02 2007, 1:36 am

I make what I can ... give a choice for special days - so if you havn't been around - or it's your birthday - I ask what they are in the mood of ... and try to accommodate with salad cause we are a little picky - and just put things on the plates of the persons choice (so if you don't like tomatoes you don't get any) ...

grin

Sun, Dec 02 2007, 1:44 am

I guess I should clarify – we use serving bowls in the middle of the table; everyone puts on their own plate what they want. She was upset that there were no tomatoes that she could take from the table. If she really wanted tomatoes without a trace of avocado, she could and should have helped herself from the kitchen. She really was out of line in this instance and I know that.
I was curious about the whole subject of how much teenagers are involved in the everyday choices in their parent’s home. (This comes up by us in a lot of issues.)

Raisin

Sun, Dec 02 2007, 6:52 am

I know someone who makes several side dishes - rice, kugel etc because one kid won't eat rice, the other won't potatoes and so on. I think it is crazy. Most people serve enough courses at a shabbos meal that no one should go hungry.

If you make only one salad every week, say, and you always put in avocados which one kid hates, it is easy enough to make a small bowl without avocados. (Although my kids have no problem just eating the things they like)

He*Sings*To*Me

Sun, Dec 02 2007, 11:58 am

DH is a picky eater, and according to my MIL, has been "texture-sensitive" his whole life. DS has inherited that trait, it seems, and I pretty much just cook what they'll eat. I take their lead pretty well, although I DO get bored with the same recipes nearly every Shabbos. When I've tried new ways of cooking/preparing old favorites, they nearly always dislike it.
All of my children love to help in the kitchen, but I prefer only one at a time on Friday afternoon. When I bake, ALL of them love to get into the act, so I divide measurement portions up as fairly as possible (if it calls for 1 cup, and I have 3 by my side, I use the 1/3 measuring cup so each gets a turn...you get the idea!) They love being able to say at dessert time "I helped Momme make this!" I try to incorporate math/fractions lessons into those times, as well! Wink

grin

Sun, Dec 02 2007, 12:22 pm

He*Sings*To*Me wrote:

All of my children love to help in the kitchen, but I prefer only one at a time on Friday afternoon. When I bake, ALL of them love to get into the act, so I divide measurement portions up as fairly as possible (if it calls for 1 cup, and I have 3 by my side, I use the 1/3 measuring cup so each gets a turn...you get the idea!) They love being able to say at dessert time "I helped Momme make this!" I try to incorporate math/fractions lessons into those times, as well! Wink

are you sure you're talkiing about teens?

shanie5

Sun, Dec 02 2007, 1:44 pm

I ask my kids to help with the shabbos menu- then make what I feel like from it, cuz they say the typical-chulent, potato kugel............
but if they want to make something else-I let them. the 16 yr old likes to make "garden skillet-sauteed onions, zukini and carrots w/ ring shaped pasta.
the 9 yr old makes popcorn cauliflower-from one of the kosher by design cookbooks.
my 14 yr old makes corn kugel.
the 12 yr old-cole slaw.

TzenaRena

Sun, Dec 02 2007, 1:50 pm

rg wrote:

I was curious about the whole subject of how much teenagers are involved in the everyday choices in their parent’s home. (This comes up by us in a lot of issues.)

If there's no chinuch or money issues involved, I think we're pretty flexible. If my kids want to make something, they can, IF there's enough time, they do it, or help out, and I don't lose out on other help. Salads are something we all do together, so if they make it, they can have it.

He*Sings*To*Me

Sun, Dec 02 2007, 1:55 pm

shanie5 wrote:

Shanie5, Looks like you've got your very own in-house catering service going on there, girl! Very Happy

shanie5

Sun, Dec 02 2007, 2:08 pm

He*Sings*To*Me wrote:

shanie5 wrote:

Shanie5, Looks like you've got your very own in-house catering service going on there, girl! Very Happy

well, as thats what I do for a living, it helps to have an in-house trained staff Wink

grin

Sun, Dec 02 2007, 2:37 pm

quite honestly, when my kids were little, I typically made just 2 salads for Shabbos. Then eventually, one of the gilrs asked why we don't make more dishes. I told her, if she wants to do it, be my guest. Since then, 5 salads has become typical and I feel like I'm at a chasuna every Shabbos! (no, that's not what I do for a living, but I always thought it would be cute to open a family restaurant - tho I don't think it's going to happen in real life.)
We generally discuss the menu together in advance.

YALT

Mon, Dec 03 2007, 8:49 am

growing up, we all used to help my mother cook. Boys icluded.
Thursday morning, my mother would have the menu already planned, and b4 going to school we would split it up. Certain things were the same every week. One brother made cake and cholent, my sister made soup and fish, I made challah and chicken, and the youngest capable of helping (but not cooking) made cucumber and beet salads. The rest would get split between us, with a few certain things left for my mother (that which she wanted to make sure it came out properly - like Yerushalmi Kugel and fancy desserts)
But during the week, at a cetain time period, I normally made supper. On Thursday nights it would be french fries and fish sticks. I agree, it was the easiest supper to make, but I would refuse to make it. You see, in our house, whatever was cooked for supper (during the week), we HAD TO eat. I was not going to cook something my mother would then force me to eat. So I sort of forced her into letting me either make something I would eat. So the deal was that after the others went to bed, I was allowed to make something else for myself.