WAHM-- work at home moms

mimivan

Thu, Jan 31 2008, 9:10 am

cdawnr:
I tried working on the laptop today, and had a 17 month old on my lap and a 4 year old at my back...then they traded places..then they got into a toy fight...then I took them outside and we all had a snowball fight!! LOL

Basically it took me 6 hours to do what I normally could have accomplished in 2 1/2 hours...I'm ducking away and doing some more tonight when they go to bed...it's going to be a long, long night!

(but the snowball fight was kind of fun...a good excuse to drink hot cocoa

mimivan

Thu, Jan 31 2008, 9:15 am

FrumWithPCOS wrote:

Yes, I know my mom would be willing to help. Not only did she volunteer, but she takes my other nieces off of my sis-in-law's hands when they need it - which can be up to a couple of times a week, for a few hours at a time - and she's very happy to do so, and actually asks them to "go out and do something tonight" so that she can play with the grandkids. Now, I wouldn't be able to send kids to her on a regular basis (she says "I already raised kids once, I'm not going to do it again"), but if I really needed to catch up on work (or sleep, or housework), I have that leeway to call and ask if she can take them for a bit.

I don't want to rely on childcare - at least for the beginning. I realize that once baby gets older and needs a lot more stimulation (as opposed to sitting in a sling in my lap, or napping a lot), part-time childcare will probably be a necessity. But for right now, I'd really like to try it on my own. I also want to make sure I'm giving my baby enough attention, though. That's one of my biggest concerns. I don't want to stay home in order to give my baby more attention, and then end up giving him/her much less attention than a playgroup lady would...

that is what is known as WAHM denial and I'm going through it too...it is either a question of upping childcare hours or missing more sleep...

If it is four hours a day, you may be able to slip it in between naps, bedtime whatever, but that is the time most other women reserve for housework, so you may want either to be prepared for a mess, miss more sleep (not recommended) or invest some money in cleaning help...

b'hatzlacha...it ain't easy...but it does beat being in an office.

cdawnr

Thu, Jan 31 2008, 9:47 am

mmivan - it helps that my 3 yrd old and 2 year old are great friends and play together.

What Mimivan wrote about the reality is true. My baby (#3) is the first who was born into a WAHM situation and I started sending her to daycare at 3.5 months because she so needed stimulation that watching mommy type wasn't giving her. (And she has been home all week with Chicken Pox -causght from her brother_ and I see just how much attention she needs) By about 3.5 months my kids recognize the cmputer and know that it is competition...really.

However, by working at homeyou save yourself commuting, and you cna have laundry or the oven running at the same time and thus try to double up chores....

There are benefits either way. But you can't really have your cake and eat it to. I don't think any WAHM would tell you that this is easy to balance. One f the hardest things becomes making boundaries between work time and house time. Since my comp is always here and there is always work waiting...(and I enjoy my work)...it is a very difficult balance.

TwinsMommy

Thu, Jan 31 2008, 12:57 pm

at the beginning when I would work with the twins in bouncy seats watching me, I'd make faces at them while I was on the phone---- I'd read a book to them between 2 phone calls. I'd talk to them while checking email. So I definitely gave them more attention than I do now (I work when they are napping or downstairs with a sitter and out of my hair). The attention I give them now is 100% theirs--- when I'm not working, I'm not working. But when I am working, I take breaks to come out of my office and come see them.

So I eased into the "oh my gosh, I'm away from my kids a bit each day" mentality. My kids couldn't care less-- they're happy, they're loved, and mommy's gotta make a living.