Funeral and Baby | Imamother

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

Funeral and Baby

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Petra

Sun, Mar 02 2008, 3:50 pm

So, is it halacha, custom or the solemn nature of the event that discourages one from bringing an infant to a funeral? Is it also bad for the infant?

greenfire

Sun, Mar 02 2008, 3:53 pm

hm I never heard that ... I guess it would depend upon whose funeral ...

montrealmommy

Sun, Mar 02 2008, 3:54 pm

I don't know if it's halacha or not, but deffitely "in bad form" to bring a baby to a funeral. Babies are unpredictable and can kvetch or cry at any time which would be quite disrespectful to the aveilim.

ss321

Mon, Mar 03 2008, 7:56 am

I dont think its a jewish/non jewish thing at all, ie a minhag, I also agree w/ the previous poster, its just very inappropriate.

mimivan

Mon, Mar 03 2008, 8:01 am

I also heard that since they tend to be cute and may cause a kind of lightheartedness, it is inappropriate to the mood of a levaya...

mummy-bh

Mon, Mar 03 2008, 8:22 am

mimivan wrote:

I also heard that since they tend to be cute and may cause a kind of lightheartedness, it is inappropriate to the mood of a levaya...

As a side note, my hubby was just sitting shiva, and we learnt that he was not even allowed to cuddle or hold the children, since this would cause him pleasure.

greenfire

Mon, Mar 03 2008, 8:27 am

what ever happened to comfort ...

happyone

Mon, Mar 03 2008, 9:07 am

Inappropriate. I remember sitting shiva and people walking in with their carriages and accompanying paraphernalia. They spent half the time figuring out where to place their bulky carriage, and the other half calming a very kvetchy baby - while annoying people that are already edgy and restless.

On the other hand, it was nice that they at least made an effort to show up despite babysitting challenges.

At a levaya, I would think it's totally inappropriate, and not kavod to the person that was niftar to have a crying baby interrupting the hespedim.

Pickle Lady

Mon, Mar 03 2008, 10:17 am

I think it depends on the situation. My great great aunt had a small funeral and I either went with my small kids or didn't go at all. So I brought my children and my family was very happy that I showed up and didn't mind the kids. B"H my kids were very well behaved during the burial.

I also recently to a shiva for a friend who lost her mother. I worked really hard not to go to her shiva with children. So I went once without my kids and once with my 2 year old. She also has children my kids age and understood that most of her friends have kids and it would be very difficult for her friends to get babysitters.

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