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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

Are you trying ... ?!?!?!

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greenfire

Wed, Jun 04 2008, 9:00 am

ever hear of this expression ... my dd calls me on her cell phone and asks "are you trying to give me a ride to coventry?" ... I'm like huh - are you trying to give me a nervous breakdown Confused

who speaks like that ... she said it's how they talk - who is they & why Rolling Eyes

I was mumbling under my breath the question over & over ... laughing ... muttering ... Nervous

(edited cause I forgot to put my "nervous" emoticon)

Last edited by greenfire on Wed, Jun 04 2008, 9:35 am; edited 1 time in total

BeershevaBubby

Wed, Jun 04 2008, 9:08 am

This is what I went through in the K household 2 nights ago:

I went to the grocery store and bought a few cans of tuna, shredded cheese and milk for the tuna casserole I was planning on making for dinner.

Several hours later DH calls and requests pancakes for dinner.

Almost 16 year old came home from boarding school so we could work on her project.

5 p.m.
Her: What's for dinner?
Me: Z (my husband) asked for pancakes so I'm making that. There's also pizza I made last night and there's meatballs and macaroni left over from Shabbat.
Her: I don't like pancakes.

7 p.m.
Me: Do you want me to heat up the meatballs?
Her: No.

8 p.m. the dinner meltdown is going into overdrive. She doesn't want pancakes, pizza or meatballs. She doesn't want an omlette. Or a potato knish. Or a lentil burger. Or the breaded soy/chicken-like nuggets. She doesn't want to take a tortilla and make a burrito with the meatballs.

She doesn't want to call Z and tell him to bring her home something from the felafel joint.

9 p.m. and she's in SERIOUS meltdown. Kicking the laundry basket all over the place, slamming doors, crying, standing in front of the fridge and stomping her feet in exhausted frustration.

9:15 and she's yelling at me that she doesn't KNOW what she wants... she knows she DOESN'T want meat. Or dairy. And there's never anything to eat in the house.

More crying and stomping around ensues.

9:45 p.m.
Her: Can I have a can of mushrooms?

My first thought was "Am I going to DARE say no at this point?

Me: Sure.

Cut to the next morning:

I asked her what she wanted for dinner tonight, figuring if I ask her (and she actually gives me a clue) I can make sure we have the ingredients.

Her: How do you make your tuna casserole?

No, I didn't tell her at any time the original plan the night of the Big Meltdown had actually been tuna casserole...

So after discussing different variations, SR made a tuna casserole for dinner. It will contained rice instead of pasta and sour cream instead of milk. In addition, it whad tuna, melty cheese, corn and peas. And was out of this world yummy. There were no leftovers.

greenfire

Wed, Jun 04 2008, 9:33 am

wow ... how insanely hilarious ... sorry - but by the end I was laughing ... that darned tuna casserole - if only you knew ahead ... would it have stopped the meltdown ... nah - would have been over something else ... Nervous

HindaRochel

Wed, Jun 04 2008, 9:48 am

YESHASettler wrote:

9:15 and she's yelling at me that she doesn't KNOW what she wants... she knows she DOESN'T want meat. Or dairy. And there's never anything to eat in the house.

Do we share a child or something?
I've even asked for a list of things she might want. Doesn't help.

tovasmom

Wed, Jun 04 2008, 10:18 am

I once took a parenting class and we were told that certain things should be "made the child's prblem" and we shouldn't facilitate and fall into the trap of "what should I eat" or "what should I wear". But without fail, I fall into the trap, certainly with my teen dd (she's 14). Example re: dinner this past sunday:

dd: What are we having for dinner

me: spiced chicken burgers

dd: I don't really like spiced chicken burgers. What else do you have

me: turkey from shabbat, or a minute steak, or a hot dog

dd: I don't like any of that (she liked it last week)

me: what do you want

dd: I don't know what I want, just not that

me: baked ziti? tuna? cereal? eggs? grilled cheese?

dd: I don't want any of that! there's nothing to eat in the house! you never make anything I like!

And she was off in a huff. Later, she came down, with a real sour face and ate a hot dog which was left from what I made for her brothers, bec she was hungry I guess. And at that point I did not feel like speaking to her either.

Yep, I'm a real facilitator.

AAAAAAARGH!

justanothermother

Wed, Jun 04 2008, 11:13 am

Wow, you guys are too nice. Once I was past the age of 12, dinner conversations would go like this:

Me: What's for supper?
DM: (something I don't like)
Me: I don't like that, what else is there?
DM: You are welcome to fix yourself whatever you want as long as you clean up after yourself.

THE END

I can't imagine offering so many choices. I don't even do that for my little ones.

louche

Wed, Jun 04 2008, 11:29 am

Bravo, justanother! Sounds suspiciously like dinnertime conversation in my household:

Louche: Howdy, son, you're just in time for supper!
Bouche: What are we having?
Louche: I don't know, what are you making?

grin

Wed, Jun 04 2008, 12:47 pm

justanothermother wrote:

that's how it goes by us too. whoever doesn't want supper or availbale leftovers, may be allowed to prepare something else - depending on my mood - or eat a sandwich.
and I don't think they're being "too nice" - they're spoiling thier kids rotten. No wonder they "meltdown". It's jsut a teenaged version of a 2-yr-old tantrum. My teens don't bother melting down; it wouldn't do them much good.

greenfire

Wed, Jun 04 2008, 12:56 pm

by the way - off tangent to dinners ...

but I make dinner and it's like it or not ... and I also learned not to prepare dinner when they should be by my dxh

Mrs. XYZ

Wed, Jun 04 2008, 12:57 pm

Same here. I tell them I'm not running a restaurant and whoever doesn't like the supper can make themselves a tuna sandwich.

red sea

Wed, Jun 04 2008, 1:14 pm

JAM & louche LOL

*but sometimes I must admit I still act like the meltdown minors myself*

louche

Wed, Jun 04 2008, 1:34 pm

Thing is, you have to start in infancy, with that first demitasse spoonful of rice glue--I mean rice cereal. Just shovel it in with a cheerful smile and a matter-of-fact air, as if you've been doing this forever. Go at it gingerly, tentatively, with a worried or skeptical expression, and you're sunk from the get-go. You just told the kid loud and clear he's being had. Hey, he's a baby, not stupid! That look means whatever's coming is NOT GOOD.

BeershevaBubby

Wed, Jun 04 2008, 2:01 pm

2 of the 3 choices were leftovers. The lentil burgers, knishes and soy chicken nuggets were freezer items I would have told her to stick in the oven. And depending on how far into her meltdown, she would have made her own egg.

tovasmom

Wed, Jun 04 2008, 2:38 pm

I admit I am facilitating. And my dd is perfectly capable of making her own dinner if she does not like what I have. It was clearly a teenage mood. That, I think, was the point. Although I do feel like a short order cook sometimes because I have the teen, I have one dd who is on a gluten free diet and one ds who is very small and needs to be goaded or enticed to eat for his health and one ds who is just picky because he sees everyone else. So I feel that I can't really get out of being a short order cook. I do not need to deal with the tantrums, however, nor do I.

Ribbie Danzinger

Wed, Jun 04 2008, 4:27 pm

louche wrote:

amother

Thu, Jul 03 2008, 11:06 pm

I have a stupey question.

whats dxh is that dear x-hubby? isn't that an oxymoron?

greenfire

Thu, Jul 03 2008, 11:23 pm

amother wrote:

I have a stupey question.

whats dxh is that dear x-hubby? isn't that an oxymoron?

d has many a word to follow Twisted Evil

damother

Pizza

Fri, Jul 04 2008, 12:20 am

I definitely recognize the syndrome - they get so hungry that nothing is appealing, and its a downwards spiral from there on in. I talk to my kids about 'listening to your body' from a young age (around 8) for them to know when theyre getting hungry, tired, sick, etc... But once they hit the teen years, hormonal activity means that a portion of the brain is not accessible for a few years, until theyre around 19 - 20.

DS: Im making myself noodles for lunch
Me: Im going to boil more water, so the whole family can have noodles for lunch
DS: But that means it will take longer
Me: I already boiled the water, so it wont
Me: * cook and drain noodles, al dente *
DS: * serves himself *
DS: Ugh! Theyre still raw! Theyre not even cooked! I knew you would ruin them! Thanks a LOT! *SLAM DOOR *

Chani

Fri, Jul 04 2008, 9:24 am

DH's line: "Mommy's not a short-order cook."

I don't mind offering them left-overs if they don't like what's for dinner. Since I cook ahead and freeze individual servings of various dishes, there's also a long list of stuff in the freezer that I can pull out and put in the microwave easily enough. I am not, however, going to cook multiple meals just to satisfy the palates of my persnickety youngsters.

greenfire

Fri, Jul 04 2008, 10:01 am

I'm still confused as to how this became about cooking ...

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