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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
What to tell kids when you are eating on a fast day



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miriamnechama




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 29 2008, 7:45 am
What if you were told not to fast YK or tisha baav but to eat properly, due to eg pregnancy etc or whatever reason , and your kids are old enough...

what would you tell them if they saw you eat/ or not fast.
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ChossidMom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 29 2008, 8:01 am
I'm not sure I understand. If the rav tells you not to fast you tell your kids that your rav told you not to fast. No? Am I missing something here?
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yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 29 2008, 8:01 am
the truth
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miriamnechama




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 29 2008, 8:04 am
I just asked it as a question.. hopefully I should never be in this situation, but I rephrase it, what do women tell their kids who see their mother eating eg on YK cus she was told not to fast....

just to say the rav... that's enough for a kid to understand why mother is eating on the holiest day and everyone else is fasting??
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yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 29 2008, 8:07 am
I reiterate, the truth.
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ChossidMom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 29 2008, 8:09 am
"The rav said that Mommy is not allowed to fast this YK for health reasons". End of story. That's how we teach emunas chachomim.
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shalhevet




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 29 2008, 8:22 am
That is also chinuch. And it's also a halacha. You teach that this YK Mommy isn't fasting because on the holiest day of the year we follow halacha and not our emotions.

You don't have to go into details why, if it's inappropriate (say a woman at the beginning of her pregnancy could just say she isn't feeling so good and the rov said not to fast.)
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freidasima




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 29 2008, 8:33 am
Kids are a lot more resilient than you think. My grandfather a"h had severe diabetes and was old and ill and from the time I remember as a kid I would be the one to walk back from shul (at around age 8 or 9, a half hour walk each way) to make him a sandwich on YK and make sure he age. I never questioned it, it was a given. Zeideh is sick, he has to eat on YK.
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ShakleeMom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 29 2008, 10:38 am
ChossidMom wrote:
"The rav said that Mommy is not allowed to fast this YK for health reasons". End of story. That's how we teach emunas chachomim.
kids are really happy to share in the truth. If they hear the 'rav' it's the magic word and they respect that.
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zufriedene




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 30 2008, 3:43 pm
Children are obedient and innocent, when u well them this is what the Rav said according to the doctors ruling their are no questions. I used to be furious with my mother if she didnt follow thw exact hours she was supposed to drink on YK or take the dates, ( which r recommended bcause they are just the right shiur.) WE expalined it to the great grandchildren, and it becomes a natural.
Refua shleima to all.
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miriamnechama




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 30 2008, 3:55 pm
I remember when my aunt was at the end of her pg took a car to the hospital on rosh hashana.... she gave birth erev yom kippur, but I was only 10 then, also she had diabetes.. I never understood, and always thought what she did was wrong...

years later I realizes what she did was right...
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zufriedene




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 30 2008, 6:15 pm
thats why open and direct communication is so very important, how sad for all those long years when you judged her wrongly, because u were deprived of an explanation. I also remember going thru different thoughts because I wasnt updated on whats going on. I'm sure happy we changed things around .
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 30 2008, 6:25 pm
freidasima wrote:
Kids are a lot more resilient than you think. My grandfather a"h had severe diabetes and was old and ill and from the time I remember as a kid I would be the one to walk back from shul (at around age 8 or 9, a half hour walk each way) to make him a sandwich on YK and make sure he age. I never questioned it, it was a given. Zeideh is sick, he has to eat on YK.


just curious, if he was old and ill, why didn't he have the sandwich in shul?
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