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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
Teens - skills they should have



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Motek




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 05 2006, 1:19 pm
what skills do you think teenaged boys and girls should have before leaving home for school or marriage?

I think both (boys and girls) should know kitchen basics, how to fry an egg, peel vegetables, cut vegetables and fruit, cut a grapefruit into sections.

they should know how to wash laundry - to sort by color, put in detergent, what doesn't go in the dryer, to remove shirts right away so they don't wrinkle

what else?
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goldrose




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 05 2006, 1:23 pm
motek, good thread. I've been feeling like after my whole beis rivka education, it's pretty sad that I got married not knowing how to cook, and still can't bake challah properly.
I wish they would have had a challah baking class teaching not only the tricks of the dough but the halachos too! How do I know when to take challah, when to do it with a brocha and when without?!!
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jewgal84




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 05 2006, 1:26 pm
B4 I left home- didn't knwo how to do laundry or my way aorund the kitchen (aside from peeling veggies, making salads and frying eggs) !!

I learned and am learning on the "job"- I learned how to do my laundry when I was on Shlichus and am (hopefully) learning more and more how to make food and supper, after I got married, as everyday goes by Very Happy !

And you know what? I don't think I was missing out on anything by not knowing b4 then!

I think that teens should excell in their skills by getting along with people and knowing how to deal in tough situations so there temper wont go off!

Esp. if s/he will be going out to sem/yeshiva, shlichus etc -> people skills are a major plus!!!!
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chavamom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 05 2006, 1:40 pm
B'H, I guess I'm doing OK - my older kids cook and do their own laundry. One of my kids kept treifing things up in the kitchen, so dh banished him until he wrote a paper on 'How to keep a Kosher Kitchen'. He actually did it and we have only an occassional problem now.

Other things they should know about? I think money management is a good one.
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 05 2006, 2:19 pm
Balance a checkbook. Sew a button and repair a hem.

Do laundry.
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TzenaRena




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 05 2006, 2:30 pm
Quote:
I think that teens should excell in their skills by getting along with people and knowing how to deal in tough situations so there temper wont go off!
so important.

how to speak up when necessary. How to make phone calls to "important" people, without clamming up. being articulate, getting your point across. some of my kids are shy, and will have to be taught.

Filling out forms, paperwork.

I also learned how to cook from scratch. If I would have asked my mother would have taught me, but I didn't have much interest. In a way I'm glad, because I cook so much differently than my mother. As you can tell, I like my style better. Tongue Out Ma, if you are reading this, you know anyway. Very Happy But it took a while ,till I developed my style. In between, we became rather lean (Do I win the poetry contest?) Wink
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Motek




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 07 2006, 7:12 pm
chavamom wrote:
my older kids cook and do their own laundry.


how does that work - I mean if I just did my laundry for myself I would hardly ever need the machine! and especially if you're dividing colors and white - it just won't fill up the machine?
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Tefila




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 07 2006, 11:17 pm
When my older boys are home they do for each other, taking turns once aweek .
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chavamom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 07 2006, 11:41 pm
Motek wrote:
chavamom wrote:
my older kids cook and do their own laundry.


how does that work - I mean if I just did my laundry for myself I would hardly ever need the machine! and especially if you're dividing colors and white - it just won't fill up the machine?


I have encouraged them to work together, but so far they will only cooperate on the white load. Basically, they have enough clothing after a week to do a load each of colored clothing (mostly pants) and then they do a combined load of whites. It then culminates with the fight over who has to match the socks Rolling Eyes .
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TzenaRena




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 08 2006, 12:32 am
chavamom, imamother has been wonderful with helping my teenagers develop laundry skills. LOL If mamma is too busy with her life on imamother, ds throws in all the laundry, because he wants to have his shirt and pants ready at 6:15 am, and he'll be kind enough to also put in his sisters' uniform shirts.

But I wonder if this only works for boys? Confused Dd never caught on. Sad
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imasenior




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 08 2006, 11:22 pm
This is so funny... growing up in the frumest neighborhood in Yerushalyim, we girls used to boast to e/o about our "chores".
You were consider a "nebech" if you were not doing things like:
cooking, cleaning, taking care of younger sib, shopping. The more the better......
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chavamom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 09 2006, 12:18 am
The main difference between Yerushalayim and the US though is the schedule of the average Bais Ya'akov girl. Longer days, dual curiculum, hours of homework, production, shabbaton.....
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imasenior




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 09 2006, 1:08 pm
Yes, there is a huge differenc! I know, I raised my kids in the states.
But I did manage to "sneak" in their education, some of the above values, and they are all hard working kids who are helpping, not just at home, but everywhere else.
Do you think that this is an important skill to teach teenagers, Motek?
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Motek




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 09 2008, 6:14 pm
anything to add?
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yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 09 2008, 6:56 pm
chocolate moose wrote:
Balance a checkbook. Sew a button and repair a hem.

Do laundry.

I was going to say the same thing.
Change a diaper. My sisters niece did not know how to put a diaper on her baby when she had one, my sister how to show her.
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ShakleeMom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Sep 09 2008, 7:24 pm
How to sew a button, and most importantly, which flowers are nice and which ones are appropriate for each occasion. Yes, it can be taught and it should.
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Imaonwheels




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 10 2008, 2:38 am
My boys also prefer to wash their own clothes because our house has too many guys clothes. They get mixed up and we have one kid who knows that the best newest stuff is his. Exploding anger

Marriage is different from yeshiva. They need to know how to get there and back safely. They need to know that they need to save money for emergencies and to get home. They should feel comfortable at the bank or doctor. They should also know how to cook bachur food (eggs, toasted cheese and pasta) and the basic use of the microwave, iron and fix a tear on the seam. They should know not to panic and to handle small issues by themselves and only call home to keep in touch and for large problems. They have to have no grey areas on your family's kashrut policies. They should be able to go out with permission to buy necessities or more supplies occasionally. They have to have been prepared for basically handling there own normal affairs. MY kids knew how to raise money and buy their own ticket every year to the Rebbe. I go with them for passports because the govt requires parent's presence. They worry about paying and photos. The bottom line is that they should be able to determine what needs to be done and do it. And if simple assistance is required the office of the yeshiva is the address and not Mommy.

They need to know the importance of following the rules and an adult always knowing where they are. They need to know the importance of keeping their space clean.

When you get married you have to also know how to work, handle money, get along with another human being of a different species. To listen, communicate and remember that you, too, are in process. In yeshiva it is practice. In marriage it is the real deal.
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HooRYou




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 10 2008, 5:08 am
TzenaRena wrote:

how to speak up when necessary. How to make phone calls to "important" people, without clamming up. being articulate, getting your point across. some of my kids are shy, and will have to be taught.

Filling out forms, paperwork.



Tzena, do you think you can teach me to do these things? I dread making phone calls and put them off, sometimes too long. I also have a really hard time figuring out which line the info goes into on most forms. I had to fill out a Postal bank account form twice once. embarrassed
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