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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Shabbos afternoon activities



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costanza




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 19 2008, 11:17 am
I have a son who is 12. In the summer on Shabbos afternoon a group of his friends from shul/school will meet in the park and play baseball. Soemtimes he likes to play tennis with some of his friends (yes, we live where there is an eruv).

As he's getting older I am feeling that this is not the most "Shabbosdik" type of atmosphere I want for our family. But on the other hand, he loves this part of his Shabbos day. He is not going to want to sleep in the afternoon and he's not one to learn for hours at a time (nor is his father). So, other than reading and board games, what do your older kids do on Shabbos afternoon that is Shabbosdik but fun?
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Coffee3




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 19 2008, 3:27 pm
Sorry, you would have to wait 5 years to get an answer from me.
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Mimisinger




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 19 2008, 4:46 pm
I have absolutely no advice, but it's funny that my friend and I were discussing this this very morning.

We both have toddlers, but we were discussing which communities to move to and the norms that are there and whether we agree/fit in or not.
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SingALong




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 19 2008, 6:12 pm
the teenage boys in my neighborhood have nothing to do so they just act wild running around and are destructive.

I remember my brother going to a pirchei group at that age, someone taught stuff, maybe they also played games. at the end of the summer there was a big meleva malka with prizes, iguess for thos who learnt a lot dont know
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smilingmom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 21 2008, 7:51 am
Friday night after the meal and Shabbos afternoon is family game time. We have over 30 board games and my DH modifies the games, if neccesary to make them more interesting & challenging. We often spend a half hour voting on which game to play, and then play, some example: Risk, Monoply, Spy Ally, Titantic, Stratego Etc...
Why don't you ask him to invite some friends over to play and eat nosh.
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Happy Mom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 22 2008, 1:34 am
Most boys at that age aren't interested in learning all afternoon or sleeping. Our son was very athletic and loved sports, but we didn't feel sports type activities were appropriate for Shabbos (though we did ask our rav for clarification regarding if a casual game of catch with a sibling or my husband would be okay, and the rav said if it was a soft ball (eg, not a baseball), then it would be okay). Occasionally he did that when he was 11 or 12, but mostly we did things as a family; board games was a big one. There are loads of other shorter games for younger kids; we have a very large collection of card and board games to choose from. Risk and Stratego are great games for older boys - they take a long time, are challenging, and they can play it with their friends or family. Now my 15 yos has taught his younger siblings, so even the 6 and 7 year olds know how to play those games and can play with their older brother on Shabbos afternoons. And now that he's older, he loves learning and even learns with his younger siblings for part of the day.

I don't care for Pirchei - in our experience, it's poorly supervised and the kids are badly behaved and hefker. We tried three different groups at different times, thinking some might be better than others. But we didn't send our sons to any of them for long once we saw what it was like, and won't bother even trying out any groups for the younger three boys.

Parents spend so much time during the week away from their kids, and then say how hard it is to find time with them. It's true, it can be a big struggle. But Shabbos is the perfect time to connect with our kids when we recognize the opportunity for what it is!
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Tamiri




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 22 2008, 1:45 am
costanza wrote:
I have a son who is 12. In the summer on Shabbos afternoon a group of his friends from shul/school will meet in the park and play baseball. Soemtimes he likes to play tennis with some of his friends (yes, we live where there is an eruv).

As he's getting older I am feeling that this is not the most "Shabbosdik" type of atmosphere I want for our family. But on the other hand, he loves this part of his Shabbos day. He is not going to want to sleep in the afternoon and he's not one to learn for hours at a time (nor is his father). So, other than reading and board games, what do your older kids do on Shabbos afternoon that is Shabbosdik but fun?

In my home (modern O) we were trained that Shabbat afternoon is quiet time. We could read, play games, go to friends, have friends over - but it was a time for sheket. Organized sports were not something we would have considered okay. Fast forward to me, mother of 5 boys. From an early age they learned... Shabbat afternoon is quiet time. I don't think you can start this at age 12 if he's used to playing sports on Shabbat, but it's never really been a Shabbat thing to do. I was quite appalled, actually, when we lived in the U.S., to find kids playing ball games etc. and not dressed in Shabbat clothes in the afternoon.
What my boys do: after lunch and mincha they laze around the living room. Some fall asleep (the older ones, especially the HS one who has to be out of the house at 6:30 am and the soldier). The youngest is also apt to fall asleep, but sometimes he just plays quietly with his toys. The 9 yo generally will not sleep so we trained him to read in the afternoon - and we allow him to go out at around 4 pm, which is the acceptable time in Israel. He can go to the park, hang out with friends, kick a ball - but nothing too strenuous. It's Shabbat. Sometimes friends come over at 4, or the boys go out. Sometimes the age-appropriate ones go to Bnai Akiva. As long as it's in keeping with the spirit of the day. We are not much into board games, but I will play things like mancala or backgammon with whoever is interested.
By 6:30 in the summer, it's time for Seuda Shlishit and then Maariv - the day flies.
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Marion




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 22 2008, 1:53 am
We also always had quiet family time Shabbat afternoons.

My issue is BEFORE they get to the board game stage. We have a tonne of games, and both DH and I love to play, but they're not appropriate for a toddler! And we just can't keep him happy and quiet (on the long summer Shabbatot)...many of his toys are muktza (yes, we have special Shabbat toys and puzzles, but some he's not ready for yet), and the puzzles and lotto games and matching games he prefers to throw the pieces than play with them (with one exception)...this is even though we sit with him and help him figure out the matches. And none of the weekday activities are appropriate...the painting, the drawing, the crafts. We take him out to the park as soon as it gets cool enough (this week it was tolerable by 3), but there's a limit.

(I'm adding this to the thread instead of starting a new one for toddlers because I get the feeling they would be merged anyway.)
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JewishMother18




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 22 2008, 1:53 am
Our 12 year old usually makes plans to go over to friend or have a friend over. He's into sports in a big way but Shabbat is not the time for it. He plays baseball during the week but knows that it's not an option on Shabbat.

Late afternoon they meet up with their other friends and go off to Bnei Akiva.

I've found this year, since starting high school, that he looks forward to Shabbat and seeing some of his "old" friends from junior school - Shabbat afternoon is a perfect time for that.
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Tamiri




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 22 2008, 2:08 am
Marion wrote:

My issue is BEFORE they get to the board game stage. We have a tonne of games, and both DH and I love to play, but they're not appropriate for a toddler! And we just can't keep him happy and quiet (on the long summer Shabbatot)...many of his toys are muktza (yes, we have special Shabbat toys and puzzles, but some he's not ready for yet), and the puzzles and lotto games and matching games he prefers to throw the pieces than play with them (with one exception)...this is even though we sit with him and help him figure out the matches. And none of the weekday activities are appropriate...the painting, the drawing, the crafts. We take him out to the park as soon as it gets cool enough (this week it was tolerable by 3), but there's a limit.

I guess when you have a toddler who doesn't nap for a couple of hours on Shabbat afternoon, it's the hardest.
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