4 month old - not sleeping HELP!

amother

Mon, Nov 10 2008, 9:32 am

I work full-time (8-4 with an hour commute each way), I have a 26-month old toddler and a 4-month old who refuses to sleep. My dh is no help, the only method he is machshiv is CIO which I think is too early and plus I don't want to wake up my toddler at night.

The baby was born end of June so he is over 4 months old, he got his first 2 teeth at 2 months (!!) and he has been very restless since then. I think there might be more teeth on the way as he doesn't take his little fists out of his mouth. He can literally sleep 2-2.5 hours the entire day and then he wakes up to eat every 2 hours the whole night. WHen he was around 6-8 weeks old he would sleep for 5-6 hour stretches when I would first put him in for the night but now he wakes up every 2 hours to eat, he never sleeps more than 2-3 hours at a stretch.....and I am just collapsing. ANy suggestions?

Just last night he went to sleep at 830, woke up at 915, nursed him back to sleep, woke up a few times after that (he sleeps with me so I have no idea how often), then at 2am he ate and was up talking and growling until 3 or so....woke up at 4 to eat, then at 6. And now I am at work trying to keep my eyes open. PLEASE PLEASE help - any suggestions of scheduling this baby would be helpful.

chavs

Mon, Nov 10 2008, 9:48 am

a few things I can think of at the top of my head is that you can wear your baby in a sling til he is asleep and then you can either keep him in the sling or lay him down. If he wakes up try to rub or pat his tummy or back until he is asleep again while you say sh, sh, sh.
If you are nursing try to nurse him to sleep, if he wakes up when you leave, nurse him again or put his hand on your breast.
When you want to put him to sleep for the night, feed him(nurse or bottle) an hour before "bedtime" and just by bedtime again. Close the curtains, keep the room dark, and try to do the same thing before bedtime, some kind of routine like, sing the same song, bath time, massage.
Keep an eye on him so you start putting him to bed befor ehe is overtired. So when he starts yawning or rubbing his eyes, you start getting him ready for bed (nap or night time).
A good book is Elisabeth Pantlys the No Cry Sleep Solution or Tracy Hoggs The babywhisperer

AlwaysGrateful

Mon, Nov 10 2008, 10:41 am

I haven't used CIO with my baby (yet - depending on his sleep schedule in the coming months, I might - but hopefully won't need to, as he's gotten much better). My baby is around your baby's age.

One thing that's helped for me is that I don't always feed him in the middle of the night when he wakes up. I will decide when I put him to sleep - say at 8:30 - that I will feed him if he wakes after 12:00, but not before then. So if he wakes up at 11:00, I will do everything possible to put him back to sleep - rocking him, singing to him, walking with him. That taught him that sometimes it's just not worth it to wake up, as I will NOT nurse him that many times at night. (Obviously if you think he's really hungry, like if he didn't eat so much during the day, that's different.) Then if he wakes up next at 12:30, I'll feed him, and decide that I'll only feed him after 4:00 the next time. (If he's generally been feeding every 2.5-3 hours at night, you can stretch it to 3.5...and then 4...etc.) Obviosly, if he wakes up ten minutes before the deadline, you don't have to be strict for no reason. But don't give in and nurse him as often as you used to, if you're trying this mehalech.

Also, I also do not barge into his room unless he's really crying - sometimes he's just kvetching, and he'll surprise me by putting himself to sleep on his own (not often at all, but nice when it happens).

I second the "give him a bedtime routine" advice. I kind of rolled my eyes at that one when I first read about it - at two months, my son would never "get" that there was a routine before bedtime, I thought. Surprise, surprise. I started just singing him the same song as he was falling asleep while nursing, and soon he assosciated that song with sleep. It was unreal.

Also, can you try not to nurse him to sleep during the day? Do you pick him up when he looks tired or starts kvetching and take him into a dark room and rock/jiggle/sing to him to try to put him to sleep? How often during the day does that happen? If he's not getting enough sleep during the day, he may be seriously overtired at night...so giving him better naps may help his nighttime sleep. Who is watching him/her during the day? (Sorry I wrote the whole thing from a male perspctive - having a boy does that to you, I guess!)

Hope some of this helps! I feel for you - sleep deprivation is NOT fun.

amother

Mon, Nov 10 2008, 11:10 am

AlwaysGrateful wrote:

Thank you for your detailed post (and to the others who responded).
The thing is I *do* have a bedtime routine. I give him a bath practically every night (except Friday night) at around the same time (between 7 and 8) when I bathe my toddler. THen I nurse him and swaddle him (his hands are everywhere otherwise) and put him in. You would think he would get the point after a month or two.

I agree that he must be way overtired by now, but I don't know what to do about it. For examle yesterday he had a 2-hour nap in the morning (1030-1230) and then another nap 3-4. But then he had a terrible night last night (as I described). So I would think after somewhat catching up on his sleep he should sleep better at night but he didn't.

To asnwer your question, he is with a (loving and very experienced) babysitter during the day. She got my older son on a schedule almost right away (eating every 3 hours and sleeping at regular intervals) but with this one she can't do anything. He screams every 2 hours for food and he doesn't sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time at home. She takes him out every day and that's when he gets his only normal nap (about 2 hours not more).

I have a suspicion that it's teething (my oder had bH such an easy time with teething), but orajel doesn't help him. I even give him tylenol sometimes which doens't do that much either.......

Do you think it's something else that's going on? I am at a loss.....

AlwaysGrateful

Mon, Nov 10 2008, 11:29 am

Can she try to take him out more than once a day? Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but 3 hours a day total sleep doesn't seem like so much for a three-month-old. Or do I just force my baby to sleep too much? He starts getting kvetchy about every 1 1/2 to 2 hours, so I put hiim down right away. My baby also doesn't sleep for long in his crib, so I try to give him at lesat one, maybe two, naps in a carseat or sling. Even without that, though, he's taking several naps every day (mostly because his half-hour naps aren't long enough to give him enough energy to go for so long! so that's how I make up for it = more naps).

At night, can he go back to sleep without eating? Have you ever put him down for a nap without feeding him first? Just wondering...

chavs

Tue, Nov 11 2008, 10:00 am

As I was going to sleep last night I remembered some things that worked well for us.
Dd used to wake up very frequently to nurse, so at soem point someone gave me this advice which worked well. When she'd wake and I knew she wasnt hungry, dh went upto her to try and settle her back to sleep, (sing, rock her, cuddle her whatever he did). She would cry more when he came and she saw it wasnt me but he would persevere for a while and I'd go into her and nurse her to sleep. I'd go in before she would get completely hysterical (or more then she was when she saw him). We continued doing this and after a few weeks or a month he managed to get her to sleep. He would then go up every time we knew she wasnt hungry and she got used to him coming up and went to sleep when he came up. She now wakes up less then previously, and is easier to settle back to sleep as well.