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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Canceling invitation when sick
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Inspired




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 08 2008, 5:43 pm
Lani22 wrote:
Inspired wrote:
Raisin wrote:
Lani22 wrote:
I would cancel and offer to send over food.


I would call it the height of rudeness to accept food from someone who is sick.


I second that.

Lani- do you say the same of a death in the family or any other emergency?

I see the scenario now "ooh Shani, I thought you were going away for shabbos, and where did you get the scrumptious looking cake?" "oh, the people we were supposed to go to had a fire thursday night but on their way to stay with her inlaws with her 6 kids she dropped off this cake she bought for us. They brought challah and cholent too. She said it wasthe least she could do after CANCELING on us last minute like that! " 'of course'


umm we are not discussing a death in the family we are discussing if the person is not feeling well enough to have guests over.


No. The OP said 'very sick' not not feeling well.

When get an invitation keep in mind the host is human and doesn't live in utopia.
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Inspired




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 08 2008, 5:44 pm
Lani22 wrote:
Inspired wrote:
Raisin wrote:
Lani22 wrote:
I would cancel and offer to send over food.


I would call it the height of rudeness to accept food from someone who is sick.


I second that.

Lani- do you say the same of a death in the family or any other emergency?

I see the scenario now "ooh Shani, I thought you were going away for shabbos, and where did you get the scrumptious looking cake?" "oh, the people we were supposed to go to had a fire thursday night but on their way to stay with her inlaws with her 6 kids she dropped off this cake she bought for us. They brought challah and cholent too. She said it wasthe least she could do after CANCELING on us last minute like that! " 'of course'


umm we are not discussing a death in the family we are discussing if the person is not feeling well enough to have guests over.


No. The OP said 'very sick' not not feeling well.

When get an invitation keep in mind the host is human and doesn't live in utopia.

I keep that in mind when I have guests as well. I don't expect them to pay m back for the food I coooked for them, or anything.
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Lani22




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 08 2008, 5:49 pm
Inspired wrote:
Lani22 wrote:
Inspired wrote:
Raisin wrote:
Lani22 wrote:
I would cancel and offer to send over food.


I would call it the height of rudeness to accept food from someone who is sick.


I second that.

Lani- do you say the same of a death in the family or any other emergency?

I see the scenario now "ooh Shani, I thought you were going away for shabbos, and where did you get the scrumptious looking cake?" "oh, the people we were supposed to go to had a fire thursday night but on their way to stay with her inlaws with her 6 kids she dropped off this cake she bought for us. They brought challah and cholent too. She said it wasthe least she could do after CANCELING on us last minute like that! " 'of course'


umm we are not discussing a death in the family we are discussing if the person is not feeling well enough to have guests over.


No. The OP said 'very sick' not not feeling well.

When get an invitation keep in mind the host is human and doesn't live in utopia.

I keep that in mind when I have guests as well. I don't expect them to pay m back for the food I coooked for them, or anything.


Are you kidding me??? ok sorry- "very sick" and "not feeling well enough to have guests over" is TOTALLY not the same thing- excuse my ignorance.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 08 2008, 6:59 pm
Lani22 wrote:

Are you kidding me??? ok sorry- "very sick" and "not feeling well enough to have guests over" is TOTALLY not the same thing- excuse my ignorance.


quite frankly it shouldn't matter if the host is "sick" "very sick" or "slightly sick" ... if she is suddenly unable to have the guest over - one should be understanding & do the best they can ...

I have some choice things to say - but I'm trying to refrain ... Twisted Evil
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cookielady




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 08 2008, 7:03 pm
Does anyone else the irony of some of these posts in the category of "Manners and Etiquette"??
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 08 2008, 7:06 pm
truthfully, if I am not well enough to have people over, it really means, I am not well enough to stand all day cooking for them so I am going to bed and we will have challa and salad for shabbos.

So offering to send food over to people would be impossible.
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Dance2it




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 08 2008, 7:55 pm
I agree with Raisin if I cancel it's b/c I really can't do it not the usual tylenol will fix it stuff. So sending food over seems like more work then having them at your house.
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avigailmiriam




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 08 2008, 10:37 pm
greenfire wrote:
Lani22 wrote:

Are you kidding me??? ok sorry- "very sick" and "not feeling well enough to have guests over" is TOTALLY not the same thing- excuse my ignorance.


quite frankly it shouldn't matter if the host is "sick" "very sick" or "slightly sick" ... if she is suddenly unable to have the guest over - one should be understanding & do the best they can ...

I have some choice things to say - but I'm trying to refrain ... Twisted Evil


No kidding. Am I supposed to have the guests over to ascertain the state of my illness?
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Mrs Bissli




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 09 2008, 7:48 am
Ah, that happened to me last winter when I came down with some stomach bug.
I told the guests I was ill, but gave them two options either to come anyway or take a rain check.
Most of the food prep was done and in the end I had two guests who came anyway (one was sick as well) but most ducked out. I didn't end up sending food though I offered.

It's best to let your guests know early so that they can make alternative arrangements.
Also some people may have reduced immunity and I really didn't want people to get sick because
they were exposed to germs in our house. It's tough hosting people when you're ill--I think I just
stayed for kiddush and hamotzi, excused myself while DH and the kids served the guests.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 09 2008, 9:07 am
the tough part is when you know you are too sick to cook, but feel better when it comes to shabbos morning. So you may have to stay home from shul so your guests won't think you are lying!
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levial




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 16 2008, 10:56 am
I had to share- this happened to us this Shabbat.

My DD (3 and a half) got a fever of 102 on Thursday night. She napped all Friday, we had to alternate tylenol, advil and cool baths to keep her fever down.

Did I mention we were visiting the town where we used to live? That we were to be stay-over guests and otherwise had no where to go/no shabbos resources?

On Friday afternoon I phoned my pregnant friend (7 months). I said, DD has a fever and I don't want anyone to get sick. She protested saying with 3 kids, lots of guests, anyone could make/get sick, and just to come.

I said I really wanted to come but think its best not to, just to take a hotel room. My friend said, no - I just won't touch her....besides if they have the fever, they're no longer contagious (I doubt that, as any runny nose can help spread the germs)...so I came so as not to offend my friend. DD loved being with her friends and so did I but I thank the posters for guiding me to the right decision - I at least gave her the opportunity to turn us away and send some food for us to eat. ..
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