Sheva brachos | Imamother

zissy2004

Tue, Nov 18 2008, 9:58 am

I just read somewhere that its not a halacha to make 7 sheva brachos. I always thought you have to.

I hear the whole time that pple have a hard time finding pple who want to make them 7 brachos bc its so expensive so I think there should be nachshon who is gonna start making only 3 sheva brachos.
whats wrong with that? most pple have enough after three..

my oldest is only 5 so I hope by the time he gets married it will be the norm Very Happy

what do you think?

Fabulous

Tue, Nov 18 2008, 10:02 am

Yes it is expensive for those that go all out. But I have very beautiful sheva brachos that were in someone's house etc... I think it's special for chosson kallah to have every night something. It is exhausting but it's a once in a lifetime. Each night is special for them. And it gives them structure for the day (not working, learning on schedule etc..)

shalhevet

Tue, Nov 18 2008, 10:03 am

You don't have to have them. But I heard the brochos you get there have an effect for your whole married life - so instead wish your children will have as many 7 brochos as possible. Smile

yo'ma

Tue, Nov 18 2008, 10:06 am

We got married 2 days before shavuos. I don't know how many sheva brochos we had, but for sure not for 7 days. We got married on a Tuesday or Wednesday and the last one was motzei Shabbos.

BennysMommy

Tue, Nov 18 2008, 10:25 am

No, you don't have to have 7 sheva brachos. I think it's any time during the 7 days that you have a meal (washing and with 10 men?) you should do the brachos. Since it's such a beautiful thing, ppl try to make at least 1 a night for the chosson and kallah. If you have more then 1 meal on any of those days, you can end up having more then 7 sheva brachos. Since it became the norm, ppl go crazy finding ppl to make 1 each night. We got married a few days before Rosh Hashana so we ended up having so many sheva brachos. (2 on shabbos and 2 on each day of yom tov plus all the other days)

SingALong

Tue, Nov 18 2008, 10:14 pm

my father told me that the whole thing of cheva brachos started that like Benny's Mother said, that whenver you have a chassan and kallah with 10 men washing so you do sheva brachas. in europe, I guess ppl travelled a lot to get to a wedding so they kind of hung a round for a few days, hence, teh 10 men at a meal, doing sheva brachas. in reality, I dotn think there is a halacha to have it.
if its nice just for the brachos, then maybe there should be a takana to have only up to 20 men at cheve brachos, or only in someone's house and not a hall, to cut expenses.
my mom made several sheva brachos occassions in her house, small crowd, cozy and sweet. it was very enjoyable. the cost was in food, rebting tables and chairs, maybe tablecloths. but nothing compared to the mini weddings that ppl blow on

Rosemarie

Tue, Jan 13 2009, 11:31 pm

There are new takanos for weddings and other simchos in many chassidish circles. One of the new takanos in my families chassidus is that since there is no real minhag for having seven parties during sheva brachos, like others mentioned here already, and the night after the wedding everyone is so tired, there should not be sheva brachos that night, just supper in the parents house for the couple and if you want you can call over ten men for dessert and bentching so you can make the brachos. (You may choose to do this a different night under certain circumstances) My in-law ae making chasuna in a few weeks and one night of sheva brachos, all the married daughters/ daughters in law are helping to cook supper so my m-i-l doesn't have to do it, and we will all have supper together in my mil's house. I don't think the mechutanim are even being invited. I think it's beautiful!