Shabbos Guests That Never Came

Blair

Sun, Feb 22 2009, 8:54 am

What would you do if you had just gotten up from sitting shiva for your mother this week and where asked by a friend if you could host his parents for Shabbos Sheva Brachos in your community. Well I said yes figuring if Hashem is sending me a mitzvah to do then why not. So I scrubbed and cleaned the room and made it 5 star hotel ready. Put out fresh pastry and coffee and tea plus cold drinks in the kitchen. Everything was perfect. Then 5 minutes before the siren was to go off I got a call and he said his mother is sick and will not be coming, they live over an hour away. They only call now and to make matters worse they wanted my husband to come and eat by them and there family about 60 people so that my husband could serve the meal and they could entertain there guests. I told him that my husband is sick and would be eating at home all of the meals with me. He then slammed the phone down on me. Won't you be really mad. I have been told that some people can be very rude and to get over it which is what I should do but I just wanted to vent.

Seraph

Sun, Feb 22 2009, 9:03 am

Oh wow. I'd be so frustrated and never want to have anything to do with such people again. Even if they were sick, they could have given SOME advance warning...

supermama2

Sun, Feb 22 2009, 9:05 am

Ouch, it seems that putting up w/ the guest canceling was more of a test than getting ready for them. I'd TRY to take it w/ simcha and let it go.

BeershevaBubby

Sun, Feb 22 2009, 9:12 am

So not only do they ask you, a woman new to Aveilus to host people for Shabbat, but call at the last second to cancel, ask at the last second for YOUR HUSBAND to play waiter, leaving you to eat alone... but then get annoyed when you say he's sick and can't??

That's beyond rude...

chocolate moose

Sun, Feb 22 2009, 9:12 am

IMO you have several issues here.

Blair wrote:

What would you do if you had just gotten up from sitting shiva for your mother this week ..........Well I said yes figuring if Hashem is sending me a mitzvah to do then why not. So I scrubbed and cleaned the room and made it 5 star hotel ready. Put out fresh pastry and coffee and tea plus cold drinks in the kitchen.

Meaning, you were still in Shloshim. I'm not sure you were allowed - much less chayav - to do all of that scrubbing and preparing. After all, the din is that during shloshim you;'re not even allowed to wash your clothes with soap!

It was very very nice of you to accept a guest and even more to do all of that preparation for him. Next time you'll know better.

Blair wrote:

They only call now

You're right, that is rude. they decided obviously earlier that they weren't coming. they must have had no idea that you would need to prepare so much

Blair wrote:

and to make matters worse they wanted my husband to come and eat by them and there family about 60 people so that my husband could serve the meal and they could entertain there guests. I told him that my husband is sick and would be eating at home all of the meals with me. He then slammed the phone down on me. Won't you be really mad. I have been told that some people can be very rude and to get over it which is what I should do but I just wanted to vent.

Why on Earth would they expect that of your dh ? Are you caterers or are you that close to them? You obv. weren't invited to the simcha; that's strange of them to ask.

Blair wrote:

I have been told that some people can be very rude and to get over it which is what I should do but I just wanted to vent.

People are horrible, I'm sorry to say. People lead very stressed lives with very little money and time I'm sure it takes their toll on them.

Tamiri

Sun, Feb 22 2009, 9:27 am

Blair, them asking an Aveyla within 30 for ANYTHING (besides an emergency) goes beyond the pale of wicked. You are a tzadeikiss for accepting and I bet you earned schar mitzva double! As far as the "job" for your husband... these people have some serious issues to deal with and mechila to request.

sister

Sun, Feb 22 2009, 12:14 pm

OMgosh I am so sorry
May you only know of simchas
You probably feel like Hashem is really testing you now, huh?
Hugs

greenfire

Sun, Feb 22 2009, 12:19 pm

YESHASettler wrote:

right on ... beyond rude !!! shock

Emee

Sun, Feb 22 2009, 1:35 pm

I really don't get these people?!?! Why did they want your DH to serve the meal to 60 people? The whole thing is strange! Try not to worry about it and as others said the schar you will get for this mitzvah is very great.

Mommy3.5

Sun, Feb 22 2009, 11:31 pm

I'm sorry for your loss, Hamokom yenachem etchem betoch aveli sion v yerushalim.

I think you reacted like a queen