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Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts

Gift for shadchan

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aeg770

Sun, Dec 06 2009, 12:54 pm

B'H
I'm looking for some gift to give our shadchan, as he won't get any payment from us, he's more than our Rabi, really like our father!
Any ideas????
thanks!

itsme

Sun, Dec 06 2009, 1:12 pm

a peice of silver

Besiyata Dishmaya

Sun, Dec 06 2009, 1:16 pm

A nice megilah holder.

A set of Shottenstein Gemara - Hebrew or English.

Falafel

Sun, Dec 06 2009, 1:22 pm

I was told it *davka* has to be money. it can be a nice present but you have to include money (even $20 is fine)

hatzlacha!

bubby

Sun, Dec 06 2009, 1:25 pm

Falafel wrote:

I was told it *davka* has to be money. it can be a nice present but you have to include money (even $20 is fine)

hatzlacha!

You do?? Didn't know that, I always give $$ but I got silver from one side & $$ from the other. I was thrilled!

lamplighter

Sun, Dec 06 2009, 1:26 pm

I was also told u must include money. I once got earrings with 5 dollars and they explained that this is the inyan. I'm sure your Rabbi will know this and understand why you are including cash.
Do you go to his home often? What could he "use"?
How bout a gift certificate to a judiaca or sefarim store?
Whats your budget?

manhattanmom

Sun, Dec 06 2009, 1:26 pm

We paid our shadchan (a friend) cash. She was newly married herself--a young kollel couple at the time...
Re: it having to be money--I don't think that's true--it just has to be something of monetary value. I know people who have received beautiful jewelry and the likes...

aeg770

Sun, Dec 06 2009, 1:29 pm

Real short busget Sad

he raised my dh, we go every shabes to his house, like I would if he was really my fil, as he is the only one I have...
he has got everything, no kidding, I really can'ty think of a judaica item or book, oe wathever that he deosn't have...
wana do it today, I'm in the wek of my first "engagement aniversary"...
help!!!

Besiyata Dishmaya

Sun, Dec 06 2009, 1:35 pm

Falafel wrote:

I was told it *davka* has to be money. it can be a nice present but you have to include money (even $20 is fine)

hatzlacha!

You're right. I heard so too.

Besiyata Dishmaya

Sun, Dec 06 2009, 1:36 pm

aeg770 wrote:

Real short busget Sad

How much are you up to spending?

aeg770

Sun, Dec 06 2009, 1:38 pm

$50, $100 maximum...

Ruchel

Sun, Dec 06 2009, 1:42 pm

As a shadchanit I asked my rav after I heard of paying the shadchan on Imamother. He said people don't have to, but sending a wedding invitation is just good manners!

I personally never receive anything.

Besiyata Dishmaya

Sun, Dec 06 2009, 1:42 pm

- a talis bag

- a challeh cover

- a shtender for at home

punktfarkert

Sun, Dec 06 2009, 2:11 pm

Falafel wrote:

I was told it *davka* has to be money. it can be a nice present but you have to include money (even $20 is fine)

I heard the opposite. In fact, I know a respected rebbetzin who has made many shidduchim. Sometimes she requests "the going rate" (in cash or check). However, when she makes shidduchim among couples whose families are struggling - or BTs whose parents might not be in the picture or might not understand and be part of the world of frum shidduchim - she davka requests a bouquet of flowers. It's very important for her to receive something, but she doesn't want to take real money from a young couple that has to go into debt making their own wedding!

aeg770

Sun, Dec 06 2009, 2:18 pm

What do you think about a fine pen? not a montblanc, but a classy one? I was just wondering this now!
tahk you all for your help!!!!

cityofgold

Sun, Dec 06 2009, 3:01 pm

if you're going with a pen you could engrave it.
that's always nice.

chocolate moose

Sun, Dec 06 2009, 4:33 pm

Giving shadchan gelt is a segulah for children.

amother

Sun, Dec 06 2009, 4:37 pm

There's some beautiful judaic art on ahuva.com- you can get something nice for $100 or less there. Everyone can use another piece of art. . .

amother

Sun, Dec 06 2009, 7:21 pm

we couldn't afford to give thousands of dollars (the person who set us up was a friend of my dh's.). We bought a beautiful silver vase for $400 (back when silver was cheaper). It was the kind of thing you would never buy for yourself but would look breathtaking on the shabbos table or even in the breakfront.

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