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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Chanukah
Sister-in-law asking for gift receipt for Chanukah gift
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happy_tobeme




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 14 2009, 10:52 am
My sister-in-law B’H has 7 kids. Every year she will ask for a gift receipt. This year I refused. Am I wrong? It’s not like I don’t ask before I buy them, she always approves. I always except the junk she gets for my kids. Am I overreacting?
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manhattanmom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 14 2009, 11:02 am
Yes. I think you are over-reacting.
If she wants a gift receipt and it is possible to give her one, you should.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 14 2009, 11:08 am
who said you should give her anything ... tell her to ask santaclause Confused
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DefyGravity




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 14 2009, 11:25 am
We always tell my BIL not to buy us anything because he usually spends money he can't afford on something we never use. I feel bad because if he's going to buy us something, I wish it would be something that wouldn't collect dust!!!!!! I think people should always include a gift receipt, unless they don't care if the person likes their gift.
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happy_tobeme




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 14 2009, 11:41 am
I feel she should be happy I get them something at all. I always ask her before I buy it. It’s a waste of my time and money. Next year I will send a lump of coal .
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BinahYeteirah




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 14 2009, 11:51 am
How is it a waste of your time and money? You just ask for the receipt when you buy the item.

Unless you think she just returning everything, I think gift receipts are really nice. It would be less hassle for everyone just in case something doesn't fit or is broken or not suitable for some other reason. Even if she approves the gifts, there could still be an issue. Maybe she doesn't feel comfortable telling you exactly what the kids want, so she just goes along with what you suggest?
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happy_tobeme




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 14 2009, 11:55 am
I have it on good authority she returns the gifs and gets stuff for herself or for other people so she will not have to spend money.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 14 2009, 1:40 pm
mmm...guess I have a different take on the definition of gift. A gift is something you give to the other person, and if they are well brought up they thank you for it. Finished. You don't owe them anything else.

Yes you should put in thought about it being age-appropriate, culture-appropriate, etc...but I don't see why you should give gift receipts.

Say I luck out and find a perfect gift, worth $20, for someone, and it's on sale for five bucks. I should be able to comfortably give that gift without a receipt.

We are such an ungrateful generation, that we think we need to get what we want when we want how we want, etc.....
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Besiyata Dishmaya




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 14 2009, 1:40 pm
I never give gift receipts. I wouldn't want them to know where I purchased the item and how much I spent, esp. if I got it on sale. I try hard to get everyone something they would appreciate and if they don't like it, let them give it away.

greenfire you cracked me up Rolling Laughter
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tuttifruttio




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 14 2009, 1:49 pm
happy_tobeme wrote:
I feel she should be happy I get them something at all. I always ask her before I buy it. It’s a waste of my time and money. Next year I will send a lump of coal .


I agree with you. People should appreciate the fact that they receive gifts. Especially if you ask her beforehand and you actually care enough to get something that suits her... I think it is a bit rude to ask for a gift receipt. It's like saying "thanks, but I'll go exchange it for something I prefer/choose/need/want etc".
JUST APPRECIATE! What is with people's ingratitude and ungratefulness? It irks me to no end! Scratching Head
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BinahYeteirah




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 14 2009, 1:56 pm
happy_tobeme wrote:
I have it on good authority she returns the gifs and gets stuff for herself or for other people so she will not have to spend money.


I probably would want to buy for her at all in that case.


I have great appreciation for gifts, even if it is not something I want. On the other hand, I would hate to spend money on something and know it wouldn't be used and would just collect dust and eventually be thrown out. Of course we should all just appreciate whatever we are given, but as a giver, I would be very happy to know that my gift was exchanged for something that the person really wanted or could use. It is a terrible waste if people have closets full of vases they'll never use or ugly sweaters they'll never wear.

In the above case, if true, it sound like she just doesn't want the gifts at all. So don't give to her, if you are sure that is what she does.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 14 2009, 2:02 pm
Besiyata Dishmaya wrote:

greenfire you cracked me up Rolling Laughter


thanx Nervous I cracked myself up too Rolling Laughter
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estibesty




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 14 2009, 2:06 pm
I never give and barely get gift recipes I usually buy gifts on sale and dont want them knowing about it!!!
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 14 2009, 2:10 pm
happy_tobeme wrote:
My sister-in-law B’H has 7 kids. Every year she will ask for a gift receipt. This year I refused. Am I wrong? It’s not like I don’t ask before I buy them, she always approves. I always except the junk she gets for my kids. Am I overreacting?


I think the 2 of you should be on the same page. get some suggestions as to what she wants for the kids ahead of time.
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happy_tobeme




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 14 2009, 2:52 pm
chocolate moose . I do ask and I get that she asks for. I know how to shop and get grate deals if it cost $50 at Toys R Us why should she know I got it online for half price.
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MiracleMama




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 14 2009, 2:54 pm
happy_tobeme wrote:
My sister-in-law B’H has 7 kids. Every year she will ask for a gift receipt. This year I refused. Am I wrong? It’s not like I don’t ask before I buy them, she always approves. I always except the junk she gets for my kids. Am I overreacting?


If this is an ongoing problem I suggest that in the future you just give them gift cards or chanukah gelt.

In the meantime, if you have a gift receipt, give it to her. And if not, tell her sorry, but you forgot to get one. I don't know if it is or isn't rude of her to ask, (I know I would never have the nerve to ask my SIL for a gift receipt), but I know I would not want to start a fight with family over such a thing.
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 14 2009, 3:33 pm
I don't understand why she would ask for certain items for the kids, but then take them back.
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Mirabelle




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 14 2009, 3:50 pm
Also, if you buy something from davka a toy store, like Toys R Us, what is she going to buy for herself if she returns it???
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SomebodyElse




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 14 2009, 3:56 pm
Chayalle wrote:

Say I luck out and find a perfect gift, worth $20, for someone, and it's on sale for five bucks. I should be able to comfortably give that gift without a receipt.


By definition, a gift receipt does not include prices. You only find out how much the giver paid if you return it. Not all stores offer gift receipts, though.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Mon, Dec 14 2009, 4:07 pm
happy_tobeme wrote:
I have it on good authority she returns the gifs and gets stuff for herself or for other people so she will not have to spend money.


A gift is something you give to someone, and they do what they want with it - use it, give it away, let it collect dust, even sell it - whatever, you're giving it to them for them not for you.
Now, as a recipient, you (or she or they) have the opportunity to give, too... that is to accept the gift graciously, and to give the giver nachas by showing them you appreciate / use their gift, when possible.

So, yes, I think it's nice to include a gift receipt - it shows you are giving them the gift for them to use (or not use) as they desire. But not mandatory - like if it was on sale or whatever.
And, no, I don't think receivers should ask for one.
You're both right. (And wrong.)

PS: maybe she can't afford to keep the gift, and needs to return it for something to give away. Maybe she doesn't have space for that new toy, and would rather have the credit at toys r us for when that old favourite breaks and they need to replace it. that's what it sounds like from the quote above.


Last edited by amother on Wed, Mar 13 2019, 5:55 am; edited 1 time in total
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