One of my children was diagnosed with cancer

Metukah

Thu, Dec 31 2009, 6:11 am

You definately aren't being selfish at all.
Refuah Sheleimah for your child and all the cholim of Klay Yisroel.
Maybe post her name and we will say Tehillim

happyone

Thu, Dec 31 2009, 7:55 am

Chai Lifeline does have an online forum specifically for cancer. Who is your case manager at CL? Rivka Reichenberg or Tony Cabot can set you up to join that forum. If you need phone numbers for them, PM me.
Hatzlacha and hugs!

Yocheved84

Thu, Dec 31 2009, 7:58 am

Refuah shleima to your child. For your kids, check out Super Sibs--it's a site to help kids whose siblings are undergoing treatment. I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. Also, don't know where you are, but I believe Sloan-Kettering has a parent support group.

mommy7

Thu, Dec 31 2009, 8:37 am

You are taking care of a family, doing laundry and suppers and homework and mothering, in addition to juggling trips back and forth to hospitals, doctors, medication regimens, plus extra mothering for your child who is going thru all that.

How can you not be exhausted?

You are an amazing mother, and have every right to cry/vent, even in front of live people. No one, absolutely no one, would ever think you're being selfish in your situation. I hate crying in front of other people, but sometimes, with a really, really good friend, it is a tremendous relief to get that extra hug and know she's there for you.

A complete refuah, and may you only have brochos, and nachas from all your children.

amother

Thu, Dec 31 2009, 9:53 am

I had cancer twice as a teenager, and I always acknowledged that my parents are going through more pain than I was - because my pain was physical, and their pain was emotional - which is more difficult.

If you want to vent, I can understand what you're feeling a little, let me know.

Refuah Shelaima.

Is your child in Sloan Kettering? That's where I was treated, and there were parent support groups, but I don't know much about them.

flowerpower

Thu, Dec 31 2009, 10:20 am

First of all, I am wishing your child a refuah shlaima and a speedy recovery.

It is for sure easier to vent in writing so vent away when you need to.

Get as much help as you can to ease the burden. If you live in brooklyn there are a few resources like caring and sharing, ben ish uben uchiv, mikimi.....

amother

Thu, Dec 31 2009, 10:40 am

I think that the Yitti Leibel hotline might be able to direct you to some support groups. I heard that there is a group called CHEMED which has a phone support group.

My nephew has cancer now. The entire extended family recognized that the person who needed the most support was my sister-in-law, except my sister in law herself.
Kudos to you for recognizing that you are not made of iron.
Please, please take care of yourself. My sister-in-law's being a hero and a martyr has only backfired in the short/long run.

melbee

Thu, Dec 31 2009, 11:01 am

Your child should have a complete refuah and you should see a lot of nachas from all your children. Please don't think you're being selfish by needing to vent. You're showing so much strength by keeping your family together and strong. Strengthen yourself too with as much support as you can! We're here for you. Hug

louche

Thu, Dec 31 2009, 11:02 am

amother wrote:

I don't want to complain to anybody because I sound incredibly selfish.

Actually, you don't.

Chayalle

Thu, Dec 31 2009, 11:32 am

May your child have a complete Refuah Shelaimah. May Hashem give you strength. Please don't allow any self-recriminations at all, and get the support you need. There is no room for selfishness or guilt here.

Hashem knows who you are, I'm keeping you and your child in my tefillos.

activemom

Thu, Dec 31 2009, 11:42 am

firstly, wishing your child a big refuah! and to your family a tremendous yeshuah! even though your the parent , its ok you break down and cry, even adults can sometimes use a good cry!! feel free to vent , from the responses u got on this forum sounds like all the mothers on this site are here to help you as much as we can. you can feel free to send me a pm, if you live in brooklyn, me and my family would love to help you in any way we can. please post your childs name so we can daven for a quick refuah!!! wishing you all the best!

amother

Thu, Dec 31 2009, 12:45 pm

My husband was diagnosed with cancer when I was pregnant with our son. I remember running to my sister's house and crying my eyes out only to be told to pull myself up by my bootstraps, my family needs me. Yes, me family needs me, but I should have been allowed 10 minutes to be hysterical. There I vented, y'know what I DO feel better.

mimismile

Thu, Dec 31 2009, 2:45 pm

may Hashem send your chils a complete refua NOW!! and give you all the strength to deal with the situation!

freidasima

Thu, Dec 31 2009, 2:50 pm

A refua shlaima to your child and you are not selfish, you are allowed to vent. You are allowed to want a normal life. And you are even allowed to ask "why us"? Although there are no answers. We are here for you.

Dance2it

Thu, Dec 31 2009, 6:07 pm

I am so sorry to hear about the matzav you are dealing with. Your child should have a refuah sheleimah, and please vent wherever you feel comfortable.