Help! Teacher told me

amother

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 11:26 am

that my 3 year old dd has confidence issues. Im stressed, please help me!!! she said sometimes she looks sad in the classroom and wont say why. She jus tlook sad till she gets over it. Im really stressed by this.
Please tell me what I can do:(

Love My Babes

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 11:30 am

does the teacher ask her whats wrong? maybe someone hurt her and shes afraid to say it but she is waiting for someone to say 'are u sad? dont be sad, we love u...' if the teacher is not helpful try to see if u can ask her if she likes her class. ask do the kids play nicely. ask if someone hurt her or took something from her. maybe she has a legitamate reason but is afraid to stick up for herself.

amother

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 11:34 am

The teacher said this happens often but not everyday. She'll look said during diff. points through out the day, and wont say whats wrong. I feel like crying. what should I do?? she doenst know how to express herself well. is it my fault..I feel horrible.

Love My Babes

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 11:40 am

she is 3. u can still try to teach her how to express herself. I still think the teacher should be involving herself in the feelings of your child. fact is she notices the sadness so she should say something about it. dont just say 'whats wrong?' u wont go anywhere. say things like 'are u sad?' or 'are u hurt?' or 'do u have a booboo?' or 'u look upset' try to get a bit more specific cuz kids dont know how to express all the feelings but if u get to a point where she can grasp the concept of sad or hurt she may be able to continue the conversation from a point she understands rather than being so abstract like 'whats wrong?' that can cover way to many areas and she might not know how to respond.

gold21

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 11:51 am

I agree with Love my Babe. the teacher should be more involved when your child looks sad. what does she say or do to figure out whats bothering her?

pacifier

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 1:03 pm

what about at home?Is she lso sad or just in playgroup?
maybe your dd is just missing you.
Or maybe the teacher doesn't make things interesting enough for a 3 year old. Unless your child is not sad, but only relaxing from all the excitement around her.
Whatever it is, why do you feel like it's your fault,bla bla bla. It's not a matter of whose fault it is? It's a matter of building your child's happiness.

flowerpower

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 1:37 pm

Don't eat yourself up. She is still young so you can work on her emotions. Be happy the teacher told you about it so you can both figure out how to help her. My dd was the unhappiest kid until like three months ago. She was knows as the kid that never smiles. You and the teacher should try to figure out why she is like that-it can be from a few different reasons.

Ruchel

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 1:43 pm

Confidence issues? a toddler and she's already labelled?

so she's just shy. The teacher sounds obsessive to me to already discuss issues.

Mommy3.5

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 2:09 pm

Perhaps your child is just overwhelmed in the classroom. My son was also very reserved and sad in nursery. He barely said a full sentence all year. He had come from a very small play group with 4 kids to a class of 18, he was overwhelmed.

The next year I told the teachers that he is shy and quiet and not to worry/. within 3 days of school starting , the teacher came over to me to tell me That I was wrong that my son was VERY friendly, Very talkative and right in the middle of everything.

Over the summer and the previous year he adjusted to the large class and magically came out of his shell. Since then he has been very well received and well liked by all the boys.

I really think its an overstatement to say a 3 year old has confidence issues. I think it is way more likely that she is just way overwhelmed with the classroom situation. Or that she is being bullied and the teacher is missing it.

Love My Babes

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 2:18 pm

Ruchel wrote:

Confidence issues? a toddler and she's already labelled?

so she's just shy. The teacher sounds obsessive to me to already discuss issues.

theres a difference between shy and sad. if a kid really looks sad the issues should be addressed. theres no reason to doom a kid's future cuz noone noticed something was bothering her.

Fox

Wed, Jan 13 2010, 2:37 pm

Love My Babe wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

Confidence issues? a toddler and she's already labelled?

so she's just shy. The teacher sounds obsessive to me to already discuss issues.

theres a difference between shy and sad. if a kid really looks sad the issues should be addressed. theres no reason to doom a kid's future cuz noone noticed something was bothering her.

I would also be interested to know what kind of the behavior the teacher is describing as "sad." Is the child actively crying or whimpering? Or is she simply removing herself from the group for a period of time? There are a lot of behaviors that might be characterized as "sad," when in fact, they are nothing of the sort. Ask the teacher to specifically describe the behaviors -- it may be that she is misinterpreting your DD's behavior.