Marrying A Niece | Imamother

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Marrying A Niece

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Isramom8

Thu, Jan 21 2010, 8:20 am

What got me thinking is the fact that my daughter's chosson has older siblings close to my own age, and my mechutanim-to-be have grandchildren the ages of my children; it's very interesting!

Now, in the Torah, Avraham married Sara, who was his niece. Sara's father was Avraham's brother. So, Sara's mother was Avraham's brother's wife. This means that a mother and daughter married brothers - right? That's what marrying a niece means? I think that's fascinating!

bnm

Thu, Jan 21 2010, 8:36 am

yup. I know a few couples like that. one couple the husband is his fil/brother's worker/buissness partner too...... he was overheard in shul complaining about him one day and was told to be respectful, its his FIL, so the guy answered its my brother!!!!

libramom

Thu, Jan 21 2010, 8:44 am

gotta admit - this is quite confusing... (for me personally)

Ruchel

Thu, Jan 21 2010, 8:45 am

It is even the favored way in some circles. Although nowadays less than, say, 50 or 100 years ago.

Raisin

Thu, Jan 21 2010, 8:58 am

I wouldn't be in favour, for genetic reasons.

amother

Thu, Jan 21 2010, 9:05 am

It's hard for me to wrap my brain around this because my best childhood friend was molested by her uncle. So any thought of a niece and uncle getting married is Puke

to me. I imagine it's more common by sephardim or yemenites, but I don't know that for fact.

MommyLuv

Thu, Jan 21 2010, 9:25 am

what about aunt and nephew?

Ruchel

Thu, Jan 21 2010, 9:25 am

I know women molested by men. So any thought of woman and man getting married are gross!

Actually it is most common by some chassidim.

Ruchel

Thu, Jan 21 2010, 9:26 am

MommyLuv wrote:

what about aunt and nephew?

This is forbidden. But for some reason it seems in israel some communities have such marriages, according to a survey.

amother

Thu, Jan 21 2010, 9:37 am

My Persian friend told me it is done in her family (uncle and niece).

Ruchel

Thu, Jan 21 2010, 9:41 am

In my maternal grandmother's family, cousin marriage was a rule (but niece/uncle was done too) that she was the first to break for like 500 years.

In my chassidishe sides, there was no "rule" but such marriages were common (cousins) and not so rare (uncle niece).

I noticed the original Chabad chassidim also almost exclusively married cousins.

Mimisinger

Thu, Jan 21 2010, 9:47 am

I had an Iranian friend in college whose parents wanted her to marry her uncle. She ended up marrying an Ashkenazic guy who was her age - it took them a long time to accept it.

overworked

Thu, Jan 21 2010, 9:56 am

dh friend is married to his neice,(chassidish) acually ppl. mistake my husband for his friend they look so alike

Chayalle

Thu, Jan 21 2010, 10:14 am

I had a great-great-uncle who married his niece (this was pre-holocaust. Unfortunately she and their five children perished).

They grew up together. He was the 2nd to youngest in a large family and she was his sister's daughter. When he was shidduch age he kept rejecting every suggestion. His parents were at their wits end. He finally told their Rebbe that he would like to marry his niece, and the Rebbe informed his parents. It was a match, literaly, made in heaven.

The reason given by the Gemara for the custom of marrying a niece is that he will naturally love her more...and by all accounts this was true here.

He was a wonderful man, always happy and never complaining. After the war he remarried but did not have children. Yet he was the most smiling man I have ever know.

Yehi Zichro Baruch.....he's now with his children. He told me, when I was a little girl, that should I be inclined to do so he would be happy if someone named a child after his first wife.

gold21

Thu, Jan 21 2010, 11:24 am

I cant comment on pre-war relationships. but post-war, I find uncle-niece marriages to be sick and perverted and not normal at all. sorry if my thoughts are judgemental or not open-minded enough, but why must a girl view her uncles in a s-xual way? ugh. I know its halachically permissible, but it was also permissible for a man to marry multiple wives at one point in time. I think a decision to end uncle-niece marriages is rather overdue.

Ruchel

Thu, Jan 21 2010, 11:26 am

gold21 wrote:

ask Hashem!

gold21

Thu, Jan 21 2010, 11:28 am

ruchel I edited my post before you posted. I know its halachically ok. but as I wrote above, maybe the time has come to change that, similar to the decree by Rabbeinu Gershom to end marriages with multiple wives.

gold21

Thu, Jan 21 2010, 11:29 am

delete

Last edited by gold21 on Thu, Jan 21 2010, 11:33 am; edited 1 time in total

chanchy123

Thu, Jan 21 2010, 11:31 am

I am the oldest in my family and DH is the youngest by far. His older sister is fifteen years older than we are and his parents are less than ten years younger than my younger grand parents. His older nieces and nephews are the same age as my younger siblings.
Incidentally, my MIL tolod me that after the War her family married off two young women who survived to their older uncles who lived in Israel. I know my great great great grandparents were cousins and so were one of their grandparents (explains the prevalence of parkinsons in my family).
I think this used to be fairly common in the olden fdays. The oldest daughter would marry the mother's brother.

amother

Thu, Jan 21 2010, 11:35 am

My youngest was born when my dd was 19. Her oldest is 1 1/2 years younger than my youngest. So it's not that old men are marrying their young neices. BTW there is genetic counsling available now.

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