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Forum
-> Interesting Discussions
Which of the following mitzvos do you find most difficult and why?
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| Shabbos |
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3% |
[ 4 ] |
| Kashrus |
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1% |
[ 2 ] |
| Taharas Hamishpacha |
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23% |
[ 28 ] |
| Tznius |
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12% |
[ 15 ] |
| Tefila |
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23% |
[ 27 ] |
| Shmiras halashon |
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21% |
[ 25 ] |
| Limud hatorah |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| Kibud av v'eim |
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10% |
[ 12 ] |
| Giving tzedaka |
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0% |
[ 1 ] |
| Aseh lcha rav (asking shaalos and following a rav) |
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2% |
[ 3 ] |
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| Total Votes : 117 |
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amother
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 Mon, Feb 08 2010, 9:48 pm
I know that this is not a complete list (there aren't 613 poll spots available  ), but I was wondering which mitzvos you find particularly difficult and why.
I used to be quite judgmental of people who do not dress tznius. After all, how difficult is it to put on appropriate clothing that isn't two sizes two small and covers everything? However, over time I realized that some of the "tzniusly-challenged" ladies may not be able to understand why I find davening so difficult.
Therefore, I started this thread to help us understand why others find mitzvos difficult to help us be dan lkaf zchus and increase ahavas yisrael.
Disclaimer: I am aware that not all of these mitzvos are equally in severity and some may be subject to different interpretations.
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fiddle
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Tue, Feb 09 2010, 1:46 am
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everything aside from shabbos and kosher. kosher is convenient, its what there is here. shabbos is a break - always welcomed. the rest are all a hassle. and I have difficulty with all. I coudnt vote all of the above so I added my answer here
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amother
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Tue, Feb 09 2010, 1:53 am
hmm, this is really thought-provoking. I'll have to think about what the answer is for me.
I do know that on Shabbos, it's very hard for me not to pick my nails; I know it's assur but the unconscious need is too strong.
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ora_43
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Tue, Feb 09 2010, 4:38 am
Definitely a thought provoking question.
My first thought was, "difficult" can have different meanings. For example, I don't find kibbud av v'em easy, or maaser ksafim, because both often involve real sacrifice (doing something for a parent when I wanted to be doing something else, or giving money even though there's always something I "need" to do with that money). But both mitzvot seem logical to me.
OTOH, saying tehillim for someone who's sick isn't particularly hard (assuming I'm not trying to do it while the kids are awake). But it's difficult for me to understand how my prayers could help someone. Would Hashem really treat them differently if I didn't pray? How could I have that kind of power over someone else? It's all very confusing, and in the end when I pray in such situations it's because I want to be the kind of person who cares enough to say tehillim and not because I've internalized the idea that I'm actually doing something.
So there are hard mitzvot (to do) that are easy (to understand) and mitzvot that are easy (to do) but hard (to understand). Ultimately, if I think of mitzvot I find difficult, the first that spring to mind are the ones I find difficult to see logic in, while the ones that I find logical but that involve sacrifice are mentally included in the list of "easy" mitzvot.
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amother
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Tue, Feb 09 2010, 4:47 am
without any doubt in my mind it is taharat hamishpacha. I do not enjoy this mitzvah at all. if I did not have to do it I wouldnt.
I hate doing bedikos. they hurt and are very unpleasant. why in the world should we have to check ourselves internally for 7 days. I just feel like its overkill.
I hate having to wash my entire body for the purpose of having no more blood. what in the world does lint in my bellybutton have anything to do with me being clean from the blood from my period.
and I hate with a passion having to be naked in front of someone other than my husband. its just so uncomfortable.
so this is without a doubt the most difficult mitzvah for me.
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imaima
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Tue, Feb 09 2010, 5:48 am
for me it is most definitely kibbud em, this is the hardest thin for me to do. my relationship with my mother has been rough, and it's a topic for a separate post, but it's driving me crazy sometimes.
Another very hard thing for me is fasting, I cringe at the thought, and weeks before the day I am all worried and sad that I'm not gonna eat all day long. Even though I am actually feeling fine, just hungry, I hate that my brain can only concentrate on food on such a day
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amother
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Tue, Feb 09 2010, 7:51 am
Giving tzedaka and following my Rav I find are the two easiest mitzvos for me. The rest I have to say, I'm not that good at them. Shabbos is generally easy besides for when I have a piece of skin on my lip, I just have this urge to get it off. Tznius is a constant battle of wills. Kibbud eim is really hard, I need to bite my tongue not to answer back.
I thought as I got older all these things get easier but they really don't. Even though I find them hard, I am trying really hard and making progress, that's the main thing.
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Temilia
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Tue, Feb 09 2010, 8:06 am
| amother wrote: | without any doubt in my mind it is taharat hamishpacha. I do not enjoy this mitzvah at all. if I did not have to do it I wouldnt.
I hate doing bedikos. they hurt and are very unpleasant. why in the world should we have to check ourselves internally for 7 days. I just feel like its overkill.
I hate having to wash my entire body for the purpose of having no more blood. what in the world does lint in my bellybutton have anything to do with me being clean from the blood from my period.
and I hate with a passion having to be naked in front of someone other than my husband. its just so uncomfortable.
so this is without a doubt the most difficult mitzvah for me. |
Sorry for going a little off tangent here, but two questions:
1. Amother when do we wash our entire bodies-bellybutton lint included, to get rid of the blood from our period?
AFAIK, we wash our entire bodies, to ensure that there is no chatziza-seperation, between our bodies and the mikvah waters.
Does it make sense to you that bellybutton lint would come between you and the mikva waters? Is that somehow more logical?
And Mikvah water is a spiritual idea, it has nothing to do with being clean from the actual blood.
I am not saying that you need to love TH, a lot of people find it a difficult mitzvah for many reasons, but the way you have portrayed it here, makes me wonder if you are not a little hazy on the rationale behind some of the different steps.
And I never liked mikvah, but once I delved into some of the meaning, I love the concept. I still don't love all the associated details and laws.
2. Your bedikos shouldn't really hurt, and if they do, you should ask a rav if you can cut down on some of them. It's not meant to be physically painful at all though.
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fleetwood
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Tue, Feb 09 2010, 8:31 am
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Definately Loshon Hara, I just can't stop!
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amother
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Tue, Feb 09 2010, 8:41 am
without any doubt in my mind it is taharat hamishpacha. I do not enjoy this mitzvah at all. if I did not have to do it I wouldnt.
I hate doing bedikos. they hurt and are very unpleasant. why in the world should we have to check ourselves internally for 7 days. I just feel like its overkill.
I hate having to wash my entire body for the purpose of having no more blood. what in the world does lint in my bellybutton have anything to do with me being clean from the blood from my period.
and I hate with a passion having to be naked in front of someone other than my husband. its just so uncomfortable.
so this is without a doubt the most difficult mitzvah for me.[/quote]
Sorry for going a little off tangent here, but two questions:
1. Amother when do we wash our entire bodies-bellybutton lint included, to get rid of the blood from our period?
AFAIK, we wash our entire bodies, to ensure that there is no chatziza-seperation, between our bodies and the mikvah waters.
Does it make sense to you that bellybutton lint would come between you and the mikva waters? Is that somehow more logical?I just meant that we are supposed to wash our entire body so that we can have relations again because we had our period. why not just make sure that there really is no blood coming from the vaginal area and thats it? why must we make sure not to have chazizot? that is what I am not getting here. I dont see the connection between the dirt in our belly buttons and getting clean from our period.
And Mikvah water is a spiritual idea, it has nothing to do with being clean from the actual blood.
I am not saying that you need to love TH, a lot of people find it a difficult mitzvah for many reasons, but the way you have portrayed it here, makes me wonder if you are not a little hazy on the rationale behind some of the different steps. no not hazy, maybe I did not articulate what I meant that well, thats all.
And I never liked mikvah, but once I delved into some of the meaning, I love the concept. I still don't love all the associated details and laws.
2. Your bedikos shouldn't really hurt, and if they do, you should ask a rav if you can cut down on some of them. It's not meant to be physically painful at all though.I only do the first and last day now as it is and when I say that it hurts, I mean who in their right mind wants to stick a piece of material with their finger into their vaginal canal? not me, thats for sure.
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the world's best mom
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Tue, Feb 09 2010, 10:06 am
Shmiras HaLashon is very difficult for a blabbermouth like me. That's definitely way up on top of the list.
But I don't remember seeing Ahavas Yisroel on the list, and that is even harder. That is also the cause of speaking L"H. I tend to be so into my way of serving Hashem that I really find fault in people who do differently than I do.
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Pooh
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Tue, Feb 09 2010, 11:47 am
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I voted kashrus... but specifically in that dep. I mean kemach yashan
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Sherri
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Tue, Feb 09 2010, 11:56 am
| amother wrote: |
I hate having to wash my entire body for the purpose of having no more blood. what in the world does lint in my bellybutton have anything to do with me being clean from the blood from my period.
| You are right- it doesn't! 
We clean ourselves before the hefsek, and the hefsek and other bedikos establish that we are finished bleeding. The cleaning before mikvah is so our bodies are free from any chatzitzos before the tevila (sort of like peeling the sticker off of the pot before toiveling it, I guess). I will echo the poster who mentioned that is seems like you are not so clear about some of the concepts (not that it will make you love the mitzvah necessarily, but I do think you may be confused a bit).
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Besiyata Dishmaya
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Tue, Feb 09 2010, 12:01 pm
B"H I have wonderful parents and we are all very close with them (may they live and be well till 120 and merit to live with Moshiach) but I can see the mitzvah of Kibbud Av Vo'eim to be the hardest mitzvah for those who don't get along with their parents.
Many other mitzvos might a bit of a challenge for Baalei Tshuvos and Geirim. Kol hakavod to them for tackling this challenge.
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Ruchel
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Tue, Feb 09 2010, 12:10 pm
Nidda. Just doesn't speak to me or makes sense to me on any level, especially the days women took upon themselves and upon us. 
As for the rest, I'm ok with most of them, but if my rav or rite was very strict on women davening etc maybe it would be different. But the level I'm on for most of these things are ok, mostly.
Shabbes is not easy, but it's only one day.
I actually enjoy limud hatora, tzedaka and having someone to ask.
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sarah613
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Tue, Feb 09 2010, 12:38 pm
I said tznius.
I find it very hard not to dress in something a lil nicer fitted bc I want to look good. it might not always be as tzniudick but I have a hard time with that. sometimes I get looks, lol.
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prettyone
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Tue, Feb 09 2010, 12:46 pm
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TH. makes me very sad and lonely
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elf123
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Tue, Feb 09 2010, 12:55 pm
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I must say, I don't love fasting...surprised no one mentioned that yet.
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Ruchel
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Tue, Feb 09 2010, 1:09 pm
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Oh yeah fasting. I'm a terrible faster. In bed with a migraine and then, huh, "sick" for days.
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imaima
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Tue, Feb 09 2010, 1:12 pm
| elf123 wrote: | | I must say, I don't love fasting...surprised no one mentioned that yet. |
you wouldn't have been surprised if you had read other posts in the thread..
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