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Forum -> Parenting our children
"I love you even more than I love Hashem"
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amother


 

Post Thu, Feb 18 2010, 10:23 am
What is the right thing to answer your child (5 years old) when he says this?
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Isramom8




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 18 2010, 11:04 am
Well, I don't tell my kids that I love one "more" than the other. You don't love people more, you love them differently. I'd say that we love Hashem in a special way, and we love Mommy in a different special way. We can see and hear Mommy so we know we love her. We can't see and hear Hashem, but we can learn to feel love for Hashem because we know what it feels like to love Mommy.
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onlyme




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 18 2010, 11:11 am
Isramom8 wrote:
Well, I don't tell my kids that I love one "more" than the other. You don't love people more, you love them differently. I'd say that we love Hashem in a special way, and we love Mommy in a different special way. We can see and hear Mommy so we know we love her. We can't see and hear Hashem, but we can learn to feel love for Hashem because we know what it feels like to love Mommy.

Beautiful answer.
You can't make a child love Hashem more, because you can't force love. But this explains it in a beautiful and any-age-appropriate way.
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mamacita




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 18 2010, 11:11 am
I would say "I love you and Hashem loves you!"

It's hard for a child, especially of that age to understand Hashem or what it means to love Him (heck, it's hard for adults) so I wouldn't make an issue of it.

I asked my LOR about what to teach my kids about Hashem, and he said to tell them that Hashem loves them. At least until they are older and can understand more.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Feb 18 2010, 11:16 am
When I was a kid I asked my mom who she loved more, me or Hashem. She said Hashem. I was sad.

Kids think rather concretely.
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Isramom8




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 18 2010, 12:08 pm
amother wrote:
When I was a kid I asked my mom who she loved more, me or Hashem. She said Hashem. I was sad.

Kids think rather concretely.



Oh, what a scary answer to a kid! I might answer that Hashem makes all mommies love their children.
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onlyme




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 18 2010, 12:14 pm
amother wrote:
When I was a kid I asked my mom who she loved more, me or Hashem. She said Hashem. I was sad.

Kids think rather concretely.

Of course you were sad. Our kids need to know that we love them always, and saying that we love someone more (even if that Someone is Hashem) can have a detrimental affect.
Children are confused about the concept of love. They think it's sort of like friendship: "She's my BEST friend". It's up to us to teach them that we can (and do) love many, many people (and yes, also love Hashem) without loving anyone more or less.
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Bambamama




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 18 2010, 12:53 pm
Isramom8 wrote:
Well, I don't tell my kids that I love one "more" than the other. You don't love people more, you love them differently. I'd say that we love Hashem in a special way, and we love Mommy in a different special way. We can see and hear Mommy so we know we love her. We can't see and hear Hashem, but we can learn to feel love for Hashem because we know what it feels like to love Mommy.


That is such a good answer.
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freidasima




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 18 2010, 12:56 pm
When my kids were little I explained that Hashem is like Zeide. I love them and they love me. But I love Zeideh and he loves me and he loves them and they love him too. But without him they wouldn't have a "me" to love so it is like an all encompassing love that he has for me and for them and for all of his descendents. Like a circle inside a circle inside a circle in which the love can go to the outside and inside at the same time but the outer circles protect each one of the inner ones. And Hashem is the biggest circle around everything and everyone protecting and loving us all.

I don't know if it worked but at the time (they were very little) it reassured them.
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Capitalchick




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2010, 8:16 pm
To a five-year old? I'd say "Thank you, sweetie". I think the concept of loving Hashem can be taught properly a couple years later.
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happymom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2010, 4:58 pm
I think its his way of letting you know just HOW much he loves you!! and he knows that he loves hashem to much so if he tells you even more, its his little way of expalinmg just how much he loves you. that would just melt my heart. that is so precious. I would grab my child hug them and say wow!!!! thats sooo much! I love you soo much too! and then explain what someone else mentioned that we cant see hashem but he created us and loves is and watches over us...
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Tova




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2010, 5:18 pm
happymom, you've exactly echoed my thoughts. I was going to write the same thing but you've saved me the trouble!
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happymom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2010, 5:20 pm
Smile
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Bliss




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 22 2010, 6:44 pm
I would think of answering something like this ' I love H' because he made me be the mommy of the girl I love'.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Feb 16 2012, 2:46 am
I always tell my kids from when theyre really little (newborn) "mommy loves you, tatty loves you, and Hashem loves you the most". theyre still young so im not quite sure if this is instilling in them what I inherently want them to know but I think it's a good perspective to grow up with.
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HindaRochel




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 16 2012, 3:34 am
"Oh, thank you. I love you and Hashem loves you! We are both so lucky."

G-d is not going to be jealous, I wouldn't worry about it.
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Greenbelle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 22 2014, 6:06 pm
My children ask me if I love them more than I love Hashem. Before I explain how I answer them, I would like to explain why I choose to answer this way.

When I was 20, I got engaged to and subsequently married a very handsome, controlling foreigner from a different culture than my own. I was naïve, trusting, open and very needy of love. I remember him telling me that he loves Hashem more than he loves me. For someone like me, who essentially had no father and was looking for a father figure, this was very painful to hear and as fantastic as this now sounds even to my own ears, I resented G-d and I was dumb enough to be jealous that I played second fiddle to Him.

Simultaneously, I remember thinking 'how can you love Hashem more, do you really love Hashem, cuz I certainly don't... I mean I try to, and I certainly appreciate all the gifts He gave me, but love is another thing altogether' and I was honest enough to admit it.

Now, years and situations later, I answer their question like this;

'No I actually love you more than anyone including Hashem. I know that I probably should love Hashem the most because He is our Father who created us and gave us every thing and every person we have... but I am not there yet and I don't know when I will get there. But one thing I do know is that Hashem loves us and understands us. He understands that I love my precious children more than all the sand grains on the shore and all the stars in the sky....
and then we play the 'I love you' game and each child thinks of beautiful or funny ways to quantify their love.

When they ask if I love them more or Abba more, I explain that I love Abba like I love a husband and I love them like I love children. There are all kinds of love and one is not greater than the other; only different.

The truth is that I love my children more; but they will not benefit from knowing that.
I have not chosen anonymity, so go easy on the criticism please.
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observer




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 22 2014, 6:50 pm
So the same way that you explain how the love for your husband is different than the love for your children, you can also explain that you love Hashem in a different way. You dont have to quantify or compare that either- it's just different.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 22 2014, 7:34 pm
Bliss wrote:
I would think of answering something like this ' I love H' because he made me be the mommy of the girl I love'.


What a great answer!
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Greenbelle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 22 2014, 8:14 pm
To Observer; What you said makes sense but I cant say that for some reason. Probably because I used to hear about how he loved Hashem more than me constantly. He used religion for his own purposes. I remember weeks and weeks of silent treatment but he would sit on the couch in the living room saying Tehillim but not one kind word. Of course his Tehillim was not worth anything under those circumstances, but that's another topic.
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