Clothing Dilemma | Imamother

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

Clothing Dilemma

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elkie

Mon, Mar 08 2010, 9:34 pm

I know it is a troubled age... My dd is 12. And we have constantly problem with "I don't have anything to wear!" But this is half the problem. I do go with her to the stores, department stores, frum stores. She doesn't like anything!!! There are beautiful clothing out there, and I show her what I like. Right away I get answer back - "you are old fashion". Ok, I breath deeply and give her opportunity to search herself. But after spending hours and hours - she doesn't find anything and gets very irritating. Some of the staff she picks up is the same style over and over. I try to teach her about different ideas and styles, but she won't listen to me.

Maybe someone experienced will give some advice. I will be very happy and thankful, because it gets really hard. And I am not talking about full closet of nice clothes, just because She doesn't like it anymore...
And I feel like I don't have patience anymore for these long fruitless shopping sprees.

bnm

Mon, Mar 08 2010, 9:43 pm

if she gets 3 shirts the same style, who cares. as long as it fits, its tznius and is in budget

amother

Tue, Mar 09 2010, 12:18 am

Maybe she's feeling awkward about her changing body? It's important to be sensitive to that.

chocolate moose

Tue, Mar 09 2010, 12:24 pm

bEEN THERE. it's very hard.

All I can say is, don't spend a lot on each item.

tizunabi

Tue, Mar 09 2010, 12:35 pm

just dont force her to buy anything she doenst really like. there is nothing more frustrating than buying it and having it sit in the back of the closet with the tags still hanging.

ive been there because I was that!

im still very picky about what I wear and buy, but eventually I found my own style. and if I find something that I really like and it comes in a bunch of colors, then ill buy the same thing in different colors.
and to this day I can shop an entire mall and come back with nothing because I didnt like anything.

Be happy that shes being assertive and not just letting you buy anything and then not wearing it because....

Find a store that she likes and shop there. Tell her to ask her friends where they buy their clothing. and most of all.. Don't stress... if she needs clothing, shell tell you and will find, she wont leave the house naked..

louche

Tue, Mar 09 2010, 12:41 pm

So what if it's all the same style? If she's OK with that, leave it. Maybe she's already found her fashion niche and doesn't need to experiment. As previously posted, if her clothes are tzanua and in good repair, what does it matter that they're not in a multitude of styles?

You may want to consider online shopping if she likes a certain brand and style. Nothing wrong with having the same skirt or blouse in three different colors.

yo'ma

Tue, Mar 09 2010, 1:03 pm

Not to downplay your dilemma, but you make me more thankful for my dd. She's almost 12 and she's a pleasure when it comes to clothes b"h.

Merrymom

Tue, Mar 09 2010, 9:40 pm

Find out what stores her friends like. My daughters don't ever get bored or disgusted with any clothes that I buy at Justice. It can be a little expensive but they have lots of sales and specials. Unfortunately, I can't find tznius skirts there at all but it's good for everything else.

mummiedearest

Tue, Mar 09 2010, 10:03 pm

send her shopping by herself or with a well-dressed friend. give her some money and a list of acceptable prices for items. if she goes over your approved prices, it comes out of her pocket.

elkie

Wed, Mar 10 2010, 11:12 am

Thanks everyone for your input.
Would you please give me some ideas where you shop for your teen?

ValleyMom

Thu, Mar 11 2010, 9:06 pm

My 14 year old wants NO clothes.

Ever.

She would sooner have her gorgous curly hair shaved off than go to a local mall.
--Or maybe have all her wisdom teeth removed with no novicaine.
NO shooping.
Especially "shabbos" outfits.
But--not even denim skirts.
She is perfectly content with her Uggs, Haviana's and sneakers.
and her old jean skirts I got her for camp four years ago.
Frankly I find it depressing and I hope she outgrows this stage quickly.

Ruchel

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 8:56 am

Not all women like clothes or shopping.

MrsDash

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 9:17 am

I think I can relate to your daughter. I was a MAJOR tomboy as a kid. Even at 12 I was still roller blading and playing ball with the boys. I never liked shopping nor did I ever put on makeup as a teen. I didn't start wearing makeup or do my hair or anything till I was about 21/22. She's only 12. She may not care right now how she looks or what styles are considered "in." My mom used to go nutty too when it came to shopping for me, she just picked things out for me. I even had my dad buy me my first pair of HEALS when I was 12, and I could care less, even though my friends were jealous because their parents didn't allow them to wear heals yet. As a teen I was also chubby (not to say I'm skinny now or anything), and my self esteem was quite low. Gained weight after hitting puberty Crying

That could have also played a role as to why I didn't care what I wore even later on.

P.S. I now wear eye makeup gloss/lipstick, cute clothes, and accessories. I'm 26 and I've finally become a lady! LOL

Ruchel

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 9:27 am

My mom never wears make up, heels or accessories and is very much a lady.

shlomitsmum

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 9:33 am

my tall 13 y/o loves junees ,shipping is reasonable Wink

you can look at their stuff online .

racheleezzy

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 9:37 am

I hate shopping. Im just one of those people that I dont like it and im not a good shopper. Ill walk into a store look around and if I dont see anything right away I walk out. My mom is the complete opposite, she is such a shopper, she loves going through the racks and finding great things. It came to a point when I was a teenager that my mom knew my style ( and I trusted her taste) that she would just bring home clothes for me when she went shopping. 95 percent of the time I kept everything she bought.
It might help that if your daughter feels that you know the clothes she likes you could just bring home things for her instead of going on these fruitless shopping sprees.....I dont think you should try to get her to wear clothes she doesnt like, as long as shes tsnius and it looks nice on her there is no reason to make her change....

shirafruma

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 10:31 am

this is going to sound a little crazy but...

maybe you go shopping, bring home some things, let her pick amongst that, and then take the rest back.

I get overwhelmed shopping and my DH (dont laugh) does this for me sometimes. He works across the street from a Macys and when I say I need something (usually I am just talking to myself) he will go in on his way home, pick up what I said I need in a few different colors or styles, and then let me pick. Less stress, and no one is overwhelmed.

OR

Try Elzees in Boro Park or Flatbush (There is one in Crown Heights also). They have great styles...

Or what about Teen Boutique?

The Gap?

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