baltimore- fitting in

DefyGravity

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 12:23 pm

amother wrote:

This shul - like most in baltimore - have a kiddush almost every Shabbos.

I specifically said sit-down kiddush. And even at those, it's hard to get past the small-talk.

I've lived here for 5 years now and I've made GOOD friends with a diverse group of people. I admit, I'm lucky that my husband is from Baltimore and I was able to become friends with one of his friend's wives. Like I've said many many times, I've become friendly with people I've met at the gym. I've met people when the Rabbi had me over to his home for a meal, friended them on facebook and made an effort to invite them over and now we're great friends. Through the friends I've made, I've met more people.

People aren't going to laugh at you behind your back because you wear a sheitel during the week. Whoever said that obviously hasn't left their house in years because I see people at the gym that change into their wigs after working out. I see people wearing nice wigs at 7 mile market, Shoppers, etc.

Maybe I live in a great location, but I don't know anyone that has to drive 10-15 minutes in order to do errands. Unless maybe they like to do all their shopping at Wegman's, which isn't necessary when there are several grocery stores right in the center of the community. We even have Trader Joe's and Whole Foods nearby.

I've lived in many cities, and I've definitely fallen in love with Baltimore. Regarding the "drug problem" people are talking about, I highly doubt it's any worse here than anywhere else. Kids do drugs, that's what they do. Like anything else, education is key.

Rubber Ducky

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 12:24 pm

My younger son went to TA and my foster son is there now. We have been very pleased with the school. The administration and teachers have been easy to work with and extremely flexible, especially when you consider the school's size.

There are many former New Yorkers here, so you should be able to find your place. Baltimore in general has neighborhoods that are mixed hashkafically, but I agree with others that Ranchleigh appears to have a higher concentration of ex-New Yorkers.

Regarding drugs, I don't believe that drug abuse is higher or lower here than other communities that are not completely segregated... but I do think that fewer Baltimoreans have their heads in the sand than some other major cities. It is actually possible to have an intelligent conversation about drug/internet/alcohol/etc. abuse here.

amother

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 12:39 pm

I am a new amother who is just horrified at reading this. I grew up in Baltimore my entire life and am still living there as a mother of 3 kids. I live off of Smith right near the Greenspring shopping center which is a quite but nice neighborhood, and yes very safe. About drugs and abuse that you write, this goes on in every single community. There is no perfect community. Unfortunately each kehilla has its own share of problems. Baltimore is a wonderful place to raise children with excellent schools and shuls and Rabbonim. Since I am very busy with my kids and working full-time and too tired to make it to shuls on Shabbos, it is hard to make friends, but I try to keep in touch with my school and seminary friends. Baltimore is a nice normal Jewish community with it's share of problems JUST LIKE ANY OTHER JEWISH KEHILLA.

amother

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 12:39 pm

I have 2 daughters in bais yaakov now, each with their own anxiety disorder. There has been NO problem with the administration at all, with me. In fact, the opposite is true. They are working with me and my children to help them feel more comfortable. They even directed me to getting services through baltimore county. I have nothing but praise for them. If someone called social services, I'd assume there's more to the story. Is it possible the daughter said something to a teacher (and then didn't want to tell her mother what she said)?

Also, I personally know many NY'ers who have relocated here and no one that I know of laughs at them! It is equally accepted to wear tichels, snoods, and shaitels wherever you go and I feel comfortable in all of them.

amother

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 12:40 pm

DefyGravity

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 12:51 pm

Yeah, I don't live in the Pickwick area either. I live in a sideways house with the big windows. I've been in all the other styles of homes in our neighborhood, but I SO want to see a house that's the same layout as mine. I'm curious about what other people have done with it.

MimiMommy

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 1:01 pm

As a former Baltimorean who is now living in NY I've seen both sides. Baltimore is getting to be quite big which makes it harder to meet people, but there is incredible diversity there and so many of them are totally normal and friendly. Baltimore is known for having achdus -- this huge community, with all types and stripes, basically consider Rav Heinemann to be their leader. I went to Bais Yaakov and didn't realize until I left and met girls who were educated in (mostly) NY schools how great the education I got there was, both in limudei kodesh and limudei chol compared to other schools. Even before getting to Israel my hebrew was already pretty good thanks to BY, and I still remember many things I learned there by heart. Most of the teachers I had over the years were very knowledgeable, dedicated, warm and normal. Mind you, I'm a naturally shy person so I never had tons of friends but I have found Baltimore to be really friendly. And you can't beat the wide streets, nobody honking at you, plenty of parks with grass for kids to play and actually being able to get to where you want to go without spending hours in traffic and looking for parking, like mentioned by other posters. I like the conveniences of NY -- like having kosher stores and restaurants within walking distance, and great public transportation (the trans in Baltimore is terrible) but totally wouldn't mind living in Baltimore again.

amother

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 1:37 pm

amother wrote:

MRS. HORRIFIED,

PLEASE CHECK THE relations OFFENDER REGISTRY, THERE IS A CHILD MOLESTER RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER FROM YOU.

Sorry to break the charm - yes, I am the negative op here, but the realistic one out of all you "rosy-rosy".

But of course, there are s-xual offenders in every community, blah blah blah...

DefyGravity

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 1:51 pm

amother wrote:

I already knew about these people b/c I search the registry when I'm bored. Who cares? Most people are molested by people they know (friends and family), not by the random dude that lives around the corner. And we know they're there, so we won't let our children play in his home.

MimiMommy

Fri, Mar 12 2010, 2:57 pm

amother wrote:

op here,
thanks everyone for your replies- soo helpful.
just one clarification- is Ranchleigh the same as greenspring? both of these places have been recommended r they far apart?

Ranchleigh is a little bit (a few blocks) further out than Greenspring proper, basically connected.

Tova

Sun, Mar 14 2010, 3:04 pm

I'm sorry; I don't know of the rent prices in those areas in question.

A semi-detached house a couple of doors down from me (Seven Mile area, not the area in question) just rented for $1,400/month and I was surprised so high. The new tenant said they thought they snagged a deal at renting a 3 bedroom house for under $1,500.

Why pay high rent in that area, though? If you need to rent at first, why not rent in a cheaper area and save the extra money for house costs? Your husband can still walk to daven in Ranchleigh, try to get to know people, etc.

MrsDash

Sun, Mar 14 2010, 5:22 pm

A few years back, We rented a two bedroom at Fallstaff Manor and we got a "discounted" price of $975 /month - not including any utilities. This place is literally right next to Pickwick Apartments. So I'm assuming that Houses with at least 3 bedrooms in or around that area are well in the 1000's.

amother

Sun, Mar 14 2010, 10:45 pm

I would guesstimate that to rent a 3 br house in ranchleigh would cost in the high 1000's (1800-2200ish.)
I haven't chimed in yet but I just want to add to all the positive comments about baltimore. I have lived here for 30 years and it is a beautiful community. no, it doesn't have the NY night life, but it is very non-judgemental (on all fronts--whether you wear a snood or a fancy sheitel), open-minded, and the schools are excellent. I have family members in every school mentioned: TA, TI, Rambam, BY, and Bnos and everyone is very happy bec. the school is a good fit for THEM. To OP, yes, move here! You will find many like-minded people. your children will get a good education and you will find your niche. But remember, as open minded as you want us to be about you, open your mind to us too and accept that this is not NY and things are not exactly the same.

bashinda

Sun, Mar 14 2010, 11:20 pm

sorry to nitpick but OP means original poster. It doesn't mean any anonymous poster but the person who started the thread.

I don't have anything to add really as I'm not from Baltimore, although at one point was looking into moving there. It seems like a nice community and I wish you much hatzlacha, OP!

ValleyMom

Mon, Mar 15 2010, 9:04 am

I had presented at a conference in washington DC and it was lonely for the whole week without community. I was grateful to go to Baltimore for Shabbos. Alas my hostess was not feeling well so I went to shul alone. I believe it was the "white shul"?! At any rate I smiled and said good shabbos to everyone and not a single person asked me who I was where I was staying... welcomed me.

NOTHING.

It was a very lonely experience.

I even approached people at the kiddush to make some polite conversation and I believe they thought I WAS ODD--I speak in front of 100's of people with NO problem...

I spent the rest of Shabbos napping and reading and was glad to leave to the airport.
And I am a VERY friendly outgoing person.