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-> Interesting Discussions
amother
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Thu, Mar 11 2010, 4:43 pm
I've only been to Israel once for 10 days. I don't speak the language but since that trip 6 years ago, I can't stop thinking about moving to Israel. Yet my DH has never felt the desire to move. It's stresses him out to think about it.
so I either get used to the idea of not moving or be miserable.
Why can't I stop thinking about it?
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mandksima
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Thu, Mar 11 2010, 9:56 pm
amother wrote: | I've only been to Israel once for 10 days. I don't speak the language but since that trip 6 years ago, I can't stop thinking about moving to Israel. Yet my DH has never felt the desire to move. It's stresses him out to think about it.
so I either get used to the idea of not moving or be miserable.
Why can't I stop thinking about it? |
It is easy to understand you wanting to move and live out your dream. It is harder to understand what exactly stresses out your dh. Is it financial? Being away from family? Would he be stressed out moving to the other side of your country as well (maybe moves in general stress him?) If you can figure out the stress, then maybe you can talk to him specifically about that.
Do you have kids? Do you pay tuition yet? Besides just wanting to be here, we came also for financial reasons. It was much cheaper for us here in our situation. That could be a motivator for your dh if nothing else. Has he been here?
I know a few people in your situation and I feel for you. Things do change in life and it could be your dh will have a change in heart in the future. Never let go of that yearning and maybe go a NBN seminar on your own to find out practical details before you speak to dh at any point.
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Tamiri
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Fri, Mar 12 2010, 12:53 am
OP I have a friend who, the first time I met her, told me: I would LOVE to move to Israel but my DH would never agree. DH stood right there, told us about his time in Israel (it's not like he'd never been) and reiterated: I am NEVER moving to Israel. This was in September 2000. They were both professionals, good jobs, no money issues etc.
I don't know how, but somehow they've been living a blessed life here on Israel since the summer of 2005 and haven't looked back once.
So, when people say they aren't going to move, it's not always the case!
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amother
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Fri, Mar 12 2010, 4:26 am
When I was dating my husband I asked him what he thought of Aliyah and he said never. I married him anyway. Well, were going this summer iyh, and it was his idea!
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shabbatiscoming
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Fri, Mar 12 2010, 4:28 am
amother wrote: | When I was dating my husband I asked him what he thought of Aliyah and he said never. I married him anyway. Well, were going this summer iyh, and it was his idea! | reminds me of a friend who after seminary she said that she would NEVER make aliyah....well, then she met her husband and he said that he will never put down roots outside of israel. they are now living in israel for almost 5 years
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amother
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Fri, Mar 12 2010, 12:22 pm
OP here: Well, my DH is the type that can't make a decision on his own. He has always looked to others for confirmation on the big things. (argh...) When it is a decision I primarily instigated, he'd look to friends and his mom for feedback most of the time. Irks me.
So, any shred of doubt I think gets blown out of prorportion. He does get nervous thinking about moving anywhere, buying a house, having kids, etc.
We have 4 children. We definately can't afford day school prices.
He's been to Israel twice. He has liked it both times and the second time came back almost agreeable but then of course back to normal life in the states and the usual doubts set in again.
We're not getting any younger and our children will have a harder time adjusting as they age. I figure I really only have a 2-3 yr window to convince him not to be so afraid.
He thinks there is a bomb around every corner and I am the type that thinks we need to live beyond the green line. Of course, if we made aliyah I would compromise on where we live. I don't care. As long as it is Israel.
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mominisrael2
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Sun, Mar 14 2010, 1:54 am
Tamiri wrote: | So, when people say they aren't going to move, it's not always the case! |
Right before I met DH, I dated a guy who seemed perfect for me...except for the little factor that he wanted to make aliyah and I didn't. Fast-forward 13 years -- now we're neighbors!
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