Weird, weird situation with my cleaning lady

amother

Sun, Jun 18 2006, 10:40 am

So, my cleaning lady is about 24-25. She's been working for me for a few months. She's really a great maid. I've always found her to be very industrious and also very sweet and pleasant. We're the first religious family she's worked for. I am pretty sure from some things she's said, however, that she used to be an exotic dancer. Not really been a big deal for me, though, since my kids are never home when she's here anyhow.

Soooo, a couple of months ago she told me she read The Kosher Kitchen because she wanted to understand why we do some of what we do and also didn't want to mess anything up...Then about 4 or 5 weeks ago she started coming to work in long tznius skirts and long sleeved t-shirts. I basically kept my mouth shut, because 1) she's not Jewish 2) she didn't ask me anything and it's really none of my business.

BUT, the last time she was here, I came home unexpectedly early and saw she was wearing one of my snoods! Okay, maybe I'm unduly finicky but I rate other people wearing my clothing as pretty high in the YUCK category. But, on the other hand, I strongly suspect that she's attracted to yiddishkeit, and I didn't want to make a chillul Hashem by saying something to her, so I just joked it off, but in a way so that hopefully she gets it not to do it again... I don't look at it as being something to fire her over or anything (for one thing she really is reliable and good) and I do want to be compassionate to her, but this whole thing is feeling a little weird to me. What would you do?

Posting anonymously because she's now working for a couple of other frum people and I don't know if they're on this board and I wouldn't want her to lose a job from somebody else because of this...

Ruchel

Sun, Jun 18 2006, 11:28 am

See if it goes on, and if it does, maybe have a talk with her about yiddishkeit? It often happens that the non jews around us are influenced and end up converting or at least trying...

red sea

Sun, Jun 18 2006, 11:40 am

That is very weird, I would just watch and wait and see what happens. You sure theres no chance she is jewish at all? Is she a religous person showing respect by dressing tznius? Is she maybe on the rebound, overcorrecting from her dancer days? Who knows What

as long as your house is clean in the meanwhile.

queen

Sun, Jun 18 2006, 12:24 pm

wearing YOUR snood without permission.............?
What else is she touching without permission?

I'd keep my eyes open.

amother

Sun, Jun 18 2006, 4:38 pm

very creepy. she might be trying to take your place. I'd get rid of her and change the locks...then again maybe I've watched too many movies. 8)

baby's mom

Sun, Jun 18 2006, 5:10 pm

um, I don't leave my cleaning lady at home alone. What else is she discovering in your house? She should not go into your stuff without your permission!! shock

baby's mom

Sun, Jun 18 2006, 5:11 pm

amother wrote:

very creepy. she might be trying to take your place. I'd get rid of her and change the locks...then again maybe I've watched too many movies. 8)

good one! You never know Scratching Head

Mommy912

Sun, Jun 18 2006, 5:20 pm

amother wrote:

... I am pretty sure from some things she's said, however, that she used to be an exotic dancer.

amother wrote:

...saw she was wearing one of my snoods!

OK, my thoughts are really not on the dan lekaf zechus track, but maybe she just likes to role-play. I have read that some times exotic dancers wear interesting costumes when they work to distance themselves from their regular normal life when they are at work doing things that they do not particularly like. Or maybe she is 'friendly' with someone who comes from a world with a lifestyle of snoods. Question

mimsy7420

Mon, Jun 19 2006, 12:06 pm

get a nannycam just to make sure. I don't they are expensive.

shayna82

Mon, Jun 19 2006, 12:21 pm

amother wrote:

very creepy. she might be trying to take your place. I'd get rid of her and change the locks...then again maybe I've watched too many movies. 8)

LOL

mimsy7420

Mon, Jun 19 2006, 12:28 pm

Yea there was a movie like that - very creepy -called "the hand that rocks the cradle".

chen

Mon, Jun 19 2006, 12:55 pm

wearing your clothes without permission in your absence? that is an unacceptable invasion of privacy and definitely a warning signal. (You have to assume a cleaning person will look in your drawers and closets, face it, but to actually wear your stuff ? Uh-uh.) nip this one in the bud pronto. better to scrub your own floors for a while.

amother

Mon, Jun 19 2006, 2:56 pm

OP here...

You guys are so right. The longer I've thought about this, the creepier it seems to me. I'm going to let her go. Plenty of cleaning ladies in the world.

chocolate moose

Mon, Jun 19 2006, 3:52 pm

at first glance it's sweet.............once you think about it, though,....

mom3boys

Mon, Jun 19 2006, 4:26 pm

I am curious, what did you do when you walked in on her? Did you say something about it then? How did she react when you came home to find her in your snood?

As I was reading your post I thought, how nice, but when I got to the snood wearing part..., well. It is not as sweet as trying to understand kashrus.

Mama Bear

Mon, Jun 19 2006, 9:23 pm

how does an exotic dancer fall so low down on the employment rung that she is cleaning houses? something smells fishy here.

mimsy7420

Mon, Jun 19 2006, 9:24 pm

Mindy wrote:

how does an exotic dancer fall so low down on the employment rung that she is cleaning houses? something smells fishy here.

I would think cleaning houses is a step up.

dleah

Mon, Jun 19 2006, 9:44 pm

I would just offer her a tichel and see what she says. maybe she will say oh wow I always wanted to see how I look in one of these...

Emuna

Mon, Jun 19 2006, 11:08 pm

I'm just curious - what did you say when you saw her and what was her answer? Just putting myself in your shoes, I'd walk in and say "what is that on your head?" Then she'd have a chance to explain herself and maybe get into the deeper issue here. You'd then see if she's a wacko or not, or just curious about yiddishkeit. Why not just ask her about it?

Ruchel

Tue, Jun 20 2006, 12:26 am

only1 wrote:

Mindy wrote:

how does an exotic dancer fall so low down on the employment rung that she is cleaning houses? something smells fishy here.

I would think cleaning houses is a step up.

ditto!! It's not disgusting or immoral!