women's wisdom by Rav Shalom Arush

shaindifer

Thu, Apr 15 2010, 10:03 am

mili wrote:

It has only just been released. haven't seen it in stores yet ( but I'm in Australia, things take a while to get here). you can order online from l[url=/www.breslev .co.il]breslev[/url]

Did you try and order cause I did and the shipping prices were insane!

random

Mon, Dec 06 2010, 12:44 pm

I know this post was from a while ago, but I just started reading the book - I think it's wonderful, really on target. One thing I'd note is that you really have to be open and wanting to work in order to appreciate it. Some of the things R' Arush writes could be taken wrongly by someone who's looking to criticize, and there are things that might need to be adapted to your personal situation, but overall, I'd say it's an amazingly accurate, enlightening, straightforward, and practical read.

The frustrating thing that I've found with marriage books in the past was that I felt like they were very esoteric and up in the air. This one is very practical and down to earth, while at the same time very inspiring, encouraging and helping the reader, in beautiful language, to be the best wife she can be and thus experience true peace (or something close to it!).

Highly recommended.

Hashem_Yaazor

Mon, Dec 06 2010, 1:12 pm

random, did your husband read Garden of Peace, or you just read the women's one?

Also, is there anything that is not applicable to a non-chassidish hashkafah? My sister in law mentioned to me about another one of his books that I should be careful in one regard because one concept was not the way we view it...

shlomitsmum

Mon, Dec 06 2010, 1:23 pm

random wrote:

Love the book!!!!

love the parenting advice section and specially the don't shmooze often at friends homes tip ...I always hated it (people run out of good things to talk about and it can easily become a DH/people bashing LH fest) now I feel less guilty turning those invites down and more normal for being 100% DH and kid centered.

Mamish Mama

Mon, Dec 06 2010, 2:00 pm

I am in a book club of all frum women and we tried reading this and it did not go over well at all. Not one of us liked it and it was, to put it mildly, ripped to shreds. From comparing notes with my husband, who has read the man's version, they are nothing like each other. He raves about the version for men and really took a lot from it. I had very high hopes for this book and it did not live up. The one chapter that I will say was good was the on about relationships with girlfriends, that was about the only thing on point.

This book is not recommended by me or my entire book club.

random

Mon, Dec 06 2010, 3:12 pm

HY: Most of the chassidish stuff is hashkafa, and I haven't found that it contradicts anything I know...yet. (I'm about halfway through) DH is reading the men's version - that's why I was interested in the women's version to begin with.

Mamish Mama: Wow, I would never recommend this for a book club - the idea is that you take for yourself what's good for you - IMVHO, sitting around discussing it with others really doesn't make sense for this book (especially because of the not-sitting-around-with-your-friends part that you and shlomitsmum mention - wouldn't you then get into conversations about your marriages?), and would only serve to emphasize all the bad parts. Out of curiousity, does your book club often read self-help/growth books? Is it more of a va'ad kind of book club?

Let me rephrase my recommendation - as with any "self-help" book, anything that seems unusual to you should be discussed with your LOR...

Hashem_Yaazor

Mon, Dec 06 2010, 9:13 pm

If I got my hands on a copy, is it meant to be used in conjunction with the man's version for both of the spouses to work on the marriage in a similar manner, or it's still productive to just do my part?
And on that note, is there ever a non-threatening way to give a man a shalom bayis book for just him? LOL

Usually when I read these types of books, my husband will read the same one. Wink

random

Tue, Dec 07 2010, 9:47 am

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

Usually when I read these types of books, my husband will read the same one. Wink

It doesn't have to be used in conjunction with the men's version, but for me, it's helpful to know that while I'm reading about how I have to do a lot of very hard work, DH is reading a similar thing. We're working on it at the same time, but separately.

Hehe - we actually talked about this, but in reverse, because DH got the men's version first. We decided that one spouse buying a Shalom Bayis book for the other is kinda like a MIL offering to pay for a cleaning lady - nice, but the implications aren't great Wink

mamommommy

Thu, Dec 09 2010, 11:24 pm

random wrote:

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

Usually when I read these types of books, my husband will read the same one. Wink

I actually think that part of the point is that it should be completely irrelevant if your dh is reading the men's version. No matter what, you need to focus on what YOU are doing in your marriage, not what your spouse is or isn't doing.

That being said, of course it would be great if both of you were involved in working at your marriage in the same way, but it really shouldn't make a difference if your dh is reading it at the same time. I'll tell you though that once my dh saw how the book affected me he wanted to read the men's version. I didn't have to say a word about it to him.

beilariva

Tue, Dec 14 2010, 4:14 am

Mamish Mama wrote:

Mamish Mama you inspired me to make another little drawing... I put it on my blog Gallery Maor. Thanks :0)

http://gallerymaor.blogspot.com/