women's wisdom by Rav Shalom Arush

Hashem_Yaazor

Tue, Dec 14 2010, 9:22 am

So I just got this yesterday (I'd like to publicly thank Swagbucks for funding this). Started reading it. All good so far, save for one issue which is what I was concerned about.

He speaks about emunah and hisbodedus with the thought that if something is wrong, you have to see what you have to be mechaper for. E.g. if your kids are not respecting you, you're lacking respect in some area of your life. I was brought up with the impression that we don't know why things happen. We do our best, and we strive for more, but we don't always know. Sometimes the nisayon of a kid not respecting us is not because we failed in respect in other areas, but because Hashem is giving us a test to see how we'll react and not lose our temper, for example. Perhaps it could be both -- why we were given the test in this way is because of a lacking in respect on our part, but my chinuch till now was to focus on one thing to work on. I can't imagine focusing on too many things at once -- I'd be lost. I'd find it easier to work on the challenge of how to react to a kid showing chutzpah rather than taking a half hour every day doing a cheshbon hanefesh which is a great idea but doesn't help me in the moment the nisayon is in front of me.
Do I make sense?
I'm going to keep reading though Very Happy

PinkFridge

Tue, Dec 14 2010, 9:44 am

Bellariva, I cannot believe I could open your link, but I did. Cute cartoons.

I just let this go off my back, or whatever the metaphor is. This isn't my derech. If I was in a situation where I was convinced that reading these sefarim would be helpful, I would only learn them with a mentor. I heard R' Brody speak and he had a lot to say that was compelling. I don't know if this instant feedback (if you really do hisbodedus and are properly introspective you'll be able to make all the connections so you need to do this everyday) is mainstream Breslov or mainstream anything but if it works for you, kol hakavod. I just really, really feel that this is not a derech for someone to try completely on her own.

Tila

Mon, Jan 10 2011, 9:47 am

My shul is doing a women's shuir on this book. There are all kinds of women attending, belz, breslov, lubavitch, non religious, modern orthodox, a convert on the way, old, young, kidless, and lotsa kids. I have yet to read it, but from the two shuirs I attended I plan on getting the book. The rabbi of the shul will be doing the same with the men's book. I apreciated all the feed back here!

Hashem_Yaazor

Sat, Jan 15 2011, 9:25 pm

So I finished this book, and I'm with PinkFridge. Someone not from this derech really should have hadracha before incorporating some of his ideas. A lot of what he says is good, and a lot of what he says is not exactly mainstream Litvish hashkafah, and it might be inappropriate to apply those parts of his book into your way of thinking and behaving.

I'm wondering if it's worth it to show to my rebbetzin and see what she thinks...she's a busy woman.

hannahbakashaw

Wed, Dec 10 2014, 5:32 pm

I know this post was from a while back, but I wanted to say this book was amazing! I loved it! As with any self-help book, there are bits that some readers may not relate to, but don't throw the baby out with the bath water! Glean what you feel H'shem is speaking to you about, and put the rest on the shelf. I too liked what was said about what happens when women get together, and felt better because I never really wanted to 'hang out' with the 'ladies'...my family was and is my world. Shalom bayit!