Chipping in for gifts

chocolate moose

Mon, Jul 17 2006, 1:03 pm

I attend shiurim which the rabbis give out of the goodness of their hearts and we collect Chanukah gelt for them, which I think is deserved and proper.

We have a newly frum lady, one of our attendees, leaving her job and one of the ladies wants to give her an item of Judaica.

People's finances notwithstanding, we don't collect for every kallah or every woman who retires...I think it's a lovely idea to give her something, but I know people are stretched....

What do you all think? Let everyone sign just a card or ask people to pitch in gelt? I'm afraid if we make it a very small contribution, the lady will not have enough to get anything worthy, we can't give her just $10 and expect her to add money to it.

Tovah

Mon, Jul 17 2006, 3:02 pm

I think it's nice to give a gift but all the time it can get out of hand. I mean 5 $ for every jo shmo can add up if u know what I mean. either always give the same 36 dollar gift certificate (everyone can give what they like so if s/o doesn't give n/o knows)or do nothing at all.

chocolate moose

Tue, Jul 18 2006, 11:24 am

I'm just saying, they are picking and choosing who to give to.

I don't know if I like that.

I hate to make bad feelings, though.

shalhevet

Tue, Jul 18 2006, 11:39 am

I think it could soon get out of hand - people will feel they have to collect for anyone who has a new grandchild/child; moves apartment; stops/starts a new job. It's not like a major life event, leaving a job.

I wouldn't personally give, but I wouldn't say anything. This other lady wants to organize this - let her, it's her business.

Imhappy!

Tue, Jul 18 2006, 11:45 am

IMO giving chanukah money to the Rabbi is one thing and giving retirement gifts is another.
best would be to set down rules so no feelings get hurt.
I think a card (even one printed out from computer, with a short message or signitures from all of you would be very thoughtful and appreciated...

its the thought that counts!

chen

Tue, Jul 18 2006, 1:16 pm

let me get this straight: a lady you know from shiurim is retiring from her job somewhere else. she is not a coworker of yours and doesn't work for the org. giving the shiur. and s/o wants to give her a gift stam b/c she's retiring.

IMO, let the lady with the idea give her a gift if she so desires. There is no reason for the ladies in the shiur to do so since the job and the retirement have nothing to do with the shiur.

Congratulations and best wishes are quite adequate under the circumstances, but if s/o wants to bring in a cake and a bottle of soda, that wouldn't be incorrect.

chocolate moose

Wed, Jul 26 2006, 3:25 pm

Some of us go to two shiurim..and the rabbi fromone of them wrote a sefer. I want to give that….bvut one of theladies said it’s not nice enough..but we won’t have enough Lefotver money ……..

yoyosma

Wed, Jul 26 2006, 8:38 pm

I remember when I worked in an office in Flatbush, people were having babies and getting engaged, or their children were getting married ALL the time! BH.
However, 5 dollars for every occasion so "we can buy them a curio full of little silver items" got to be too much. After a while I stopped giving. I could not give for every person, it just got way too expensive.
BTW- I left my job 2 weeks before I had DD and got NO gift, maybe I had to actually be working in order to rate?

suomynona

Thu, Jul 27 2006, 4:52 am

Whenever someone has a baby in my company, people chip in for a gift. When I had a baby, I didn't get a gift. Maybe it's because I work from home. But I feel like if I am part enough of the company to be asked to chip in for other people, I am part enough to get a gift. Of course I won't say anything, but it irks me.

yoyosma

Thu, Jul 27 2006, 8:20 am

Mummyof6,
No, I had still been giving, but not to EVERYONE. I wasnt there long enough to know Malki on the third floor etc, so I didnt give when her Simcha came up. And seriously, there was a $5 collection EVERY WEEK!