Should I send to Public School

amother

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 2:20 am

The school that I was sending my girls to closed down and I have to find a new school for them. I am not sure what to do as I have been applying to a bunch of schools but I have to wait till August to even get an interview. Besides for that the school I sent them to was really nice tuition wise and even though I couldn't afford much they worked with us and let us pay whatever we could towards tuition.

I now have to deal with finding a new school for them as well as figure out how to pay tuition. All the schools in my area charge at least $400 per kid and that is being modest. At this point we have only $200 left if that at the end of the month to put towards tuition. My son goes to Yeshiva and they are also nice about payment.

I am seriously contemplating public school. I don't know any other Frum Jewish kids that send to public school in New York and I don't know if I should do so.

How can I send to a Yeshiva and not pay tuition? How does anyone do it?

I don't have anyone that can help me pay for it, I am already on numerous government programs, I work full time, my dh works part time and is trying to find full time work. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know.

I will ask the Yeshiva's to please work with us, I am afraid though that if they know that I won't be able to afford it that they might not accept my girls.

Please advise me as it's getting close to when school starts.

Ruchel

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 8:21 am

Sometimes there is no other solution.

If there are others, you need to chose the "least worse" one. Public school ranges from war zone to ultra posh (not that ultra posh is great either, for middos reasons), from "some cannot read in middle school" to ultra elite.

Kodesh wise, will your kids be able to learn it after a full day of school? If they are, some boys go from PS to top yeshivos, if they are motivated and their parents were too. But it's also very easy to fall behind.

DH and I know many charedi kids who for various reasons (financial, out of town, "better PS than a contrary hashkafa", etc) attended PS. But again, we are Europeans and I'm told in America PS is very different, hence it being almost a no no. So there is also the social aspect to think about, in your case: how you will deal with bigots etc.

Ilovehashem26

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 9:20 am

I don't have experience in this bec I dont have school age kids, but I do know that I really appreciate my torah school eduaction and it made a big difference for me. In HS I even begged my mom one year to send me to public school, which would have been almost 10,000$ less. She refused even though it wasnt easy paying so many tuitions. I am so thankful she didn't for tons of reasons. Anyways, I say fight the fight and make sure they stay in torah schools. Tell the schools that your trying to get into that you are getting money from a relative-- make something up, and youll be able to pay in..october.. and then october comes and tell them you dont have it and pay what you can...they can't kick you out- can they? Iknow in new york they are really snobby and its sad. Where I lived, you pay what you could but with one or two schools in the community, they had no choice but to accept you either way.
But I just wanna say that eduacting your kids to be religious, Gd fearing Jews should be number one priority for all of us. So I would do whatever I could to send them to Torah Schools. Keep working on it, If I hear of any assistance programs Ill let you know..

Ruchel

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 9:26 am

Quote:

make something up, and youll be able to pay in..october.. and then october comes and tell them you dont have it and pay what you can

This is lying and stealing. I would hope a Torah school would teach not to do it.

Quote:

...they can't kick you out- can they?

Oh they can. And they do.

Quote:

But I just wanna say that eduacting your kids to be religious, Gd fearing Jews should be number one priority for all of us.

I do that by teaching no stealing, no lying, and that you can be a frum yid outside of a bubble too. What matters is the house (if not, read Hold on to your kids).
To each their own.

Barbara

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 9:26 am

I know frum kids in public school. There are issues -- usually around doing things on Shabbat. But it can be done.

Is anyone else in your position? Call some of the parents of your girls' friends. Think about sending them to public school together, and hiring someone to come to one of your homes to teach the girls limudei kodesh for an hour to two a half a day, 4 days a week. You pay your $200 that you have, they pay $100 per child. If you get 6 girls, that's $600 per month for 8 to 16 hours of teaching (plus prep time). A retired teacher or SAHM might be interested.

amother

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 9:29 am

Ilovehashem26 wrote:

Rather ironic to suggest that a good way to educate a child to be a religious, Gd fearing Jew is to commit fraud in order to obtain services that you cannot and have no intention of paying for.

JRKmommy

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 10:49 am

Be up front about your financial situation and need for assistance, and let them know that the alternative for you would be public school.

I went to public school. The major disadvantage, for me, was that there often isn't the time or energy left for limudei kodesh. You would likely need to get something good online or a private tutor for it, so you need to factor in the time and expense of that as well. Also - see what the hours are like at the public school. One of the ways that we save a bit is that my Jewish day school has before/after school care, so I don't have nanny costs.

In New York, you really need to research the possible public schools. Some are truly outstanding for secular subjects, and some pose a major risk to life and limb. There are opportunities to transfer to good schools, but from what I understand, it's a strictly controlled process and really competitive.

Also, consider how your children are likely to adjust socially. Have they ever been in a non-frum environment? Are they strong personalities who could handle being different from their peers - being the only ones to wear skirts, not touching boys, etc.? What would the demographics of the possible schools be? [In some ways, a more multicultural school could work, because your kids wouldn't stick out as "different" quite as much. My dd#1 went to a daycare where she was the only Jewish child, but it was the most diverse centre you've ever seen so it really wasn't much of a problem. I just wonder who assumed that she was Muslim since she was on the "no pork products" list.]

cbsdbs

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 11:00 am

I had the same problem with my 5 year old daughter. I applied to 7 schools in nursery and was turned down by most schools. I put her in a head start program. I applied to a couple of schools for kindergarten and was accepted to one. I was very unimpressed and sent her back to headstart. Now the program is over so I continued to apply to another 5 schools. She was accepted to one where the tuition is astronomical and they were giving us a hard time with a break. We decided to send her to a smaller chassidish school where they work with you re tuition but don't have the therapy facilities which this child needs. I guess I'll be taking her to therapy after school. As far as public school, is that where u really want ur kids? It's not worth it. I was very seriously considering home schooling because there really wasn't any other options.

amother

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 12:10 pm

OP here, thank you for your responses, I really want to send to a Yeshiva but I can't extend myself financially anymore than I am already. I have maxed out my credit card and am finally paying them back. I can't start all over again with credit cards. I will explain to the Yeshiva's my situation up front and ask them to help me out as otherwise public school might be a real option.

If anyone knows of a good public school in brooklyn please post it.

Thanks.

SplitPea

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 12:16 pm

another option is a Hebrew Charter school.I know MANY parents have spoken about starting one but don't know if It ever got off the ground Attached is a copy of a message recently posted in the Five towns Shuls list. Theasuthor did not give any contact info so the only way she can be contacted is through the list. UI can relay any messages needed or you can join the yahoo group yourself. If enough people are interested WHY could it not happen!!

WANTED: Parents to form local tuition-free charter school for Orthod Message List
Reply Message #147262 of 148865 <Prev>

Funding may be available for local tuition-free Hebrew Language charter school.
We are looking to build a school with academic excellence and child-centered
learning, that will serve the needs of the Orthodox family. Secular and
intensive Hebrew Language instruction to be free (e.g. government-funded); cost
for yeshiva add-on program will be affordable, and borne by parents. Yeshiva
add-on program, to take place before and after the school day, and optionally on
Sundays, aims to inspire kids and keep them learning on a par with local
yeshivas. Separate gender classrooms with strict dress codes throughout the
entire school day, religious teachers in the classrooms.

Academic excellence top priority -- school will utilize progressive educational
methodology, such as Montessori, with good efficacy research, and handpicked,
well-trained teachers. Daily physical education and focus on teamwork and
leadership skills. Individually paced multi-age classrooms makes this
appropriate for gifted children, as well as children with uneven learning
styles. High parental involvement will be encouraged. Minimum number of
interested families needed to secure funding. Please respond if you may be
interested, and if you would like to serve on the initial committee.

Devora B

nicole81

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 12:19 pm

there is a charter school in brooklyn-- the HLA charter school. the application deadline was months ago, but it might be worth a shot contacting them to see if they have any openings left for september.

there are a couple of families that I know of who send there and seem happy. you would still have to arrange private religious instruction, as there is no formal program that I know of.

Peanut2

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 12:20 pm

Just to add: You can tell them upfront about your financial situation, but you could also wait until your daughters are accepted. It's easier to say No to people you don't know.
When you tell the school about your finances, tell them how much you can pay and that the other option is public school (like someone else said.) If your husband is really looking for full time work, tell them that! Say that this is your financial situation at the moment, but that please G-d when your dh gets a full time jon you'd be happy to re-examine how much you can pay.

amother

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 12:21 pm

I have one child in public school right now because he needs special help that simply does not exist in any frum school where I live. It's not ideal and I wish he wasn't there, but it's manageable. He's also very young so I feel slightly less awful about it then I would if he were 5 or 10 years older. IY"H he will be able to be in a normal classroom in a year or two and I'll never have to deal with it. Bottom line, if you must send to public school, because there is no alternative, then you do it and make the best of it. But I would first exhaust every other option.

Ruchel

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 12:24 pm

amother wrote:

Ruchel I don't know where you get your facts from. I am European and it is unheard of to send your kid to public school.

You're probably in one of those few places where the new generation doesn't do it anymore. Like, Antwerp.

While in big communities it's getting rarer (if you have money to pay), in smaller communities all around Europe it's the norm (few homeschool), and a priviledge in many others.

Use the search engine, it has been discussed and explained many times.

Last edited by Ruchel on Tue, Jul 27 2010, 12:29 pm; edited 1 time in total