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-> Children's Health
sporty
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 Tue, Jul 27 2010, 8:03 pm
I am not an experienced mom. I get the baby center emails to tell me what milestones my kids should be hitting but I feel like I just do not have a clue.
I am not sure if this is something my pediatrician should be guiding me on more.
When my dd had a bad virus last week I felt clueless what to do for her. She wasn't eating, her stomach was upset...all she would drink was milk and I tried water, juice (which she never drinks and refused) soup...nothing worked. I called my pediatrician a few times and was just told over and over by the nurse there is nothing to do. I felt like I was given no guidance - who could have told me go get ices, try acidopholus for the tummy or any other valuable suggestions to try to get her to ingest some liquids? I know a lot is common sense but this was my FIRST time ever dealing with a sick child. I do not have the mommy remedies down pat. When she broke in a horrible rash I called again but they didn't want to see her, they said it will pass with the virus.....and it did. But during the few days she had it I was scared and had no idea what I was dealing with.
And now my SIL has mentioned she is surprised my dd doesn't speak more. She is 17 months. It never occurred to me that she may be delayed. I would NOT know and I would think this is something my pediatrician should be checking at our well visits?
What do your dr.'s do at well visits - mine basically do weight and height and then check ears, throat etc. and then look at a sheet and ask does the child do this this this and checks it off and then we leave.
For now I am not overly concerned about the speech - dd has a vocabulary of about 15 words. And every week or so she seems to pick up on a new word. I think it's okay.....but I feel like I do not at all if it is and I am sad and feel lost.
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manhattanmom
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Tue, Jul 27 2010, 8:19 pm
First of all, the baby center emails with milestones--don't use that to judge your kid. I'd unsubscribe.
To answer your main question--
The pediatricians that I use for my kids (it's a practice of a few doctors) are more involved than what you described.
At well visits, (at least the dr. I make appointments with) really try to get to know my kids--ask me what my concerns are, ask lots of questions about speech development and other milestones and answer all of my questions. At my son's latest checkup (3 years) he asked him all sorts of questions about colors, shapes, asking him his full name and tried to engage in a conversation with him. Then he asked how he was progressing with this EI services (specific questions about his specific needs) and if we had all the information we needed to move him up to receive services through CPSE....We spoke about toilet training--the dr. offered some behavioral tips...
And then we (me and the dr.) chatted for a few minutes about something irrelevant.
There is always someone available--and I've gotten good advice over the phone--I've called with the smallest questions--either was put through to a nurse right away or had a call-back within 10 minutes.
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sporty
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Tue, Jul 27 2010, 8:23 pm
Ok thank you.
Do you happen to remember what the well visits were like at say 15 or 18 months and at say 5 months old?
I just want to make sure I am giving my children the best care possible.
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manhattanmom
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Tue, Jul 27 2010, 8:27 pm
I do.
And they were basically similar. Very thorough. Although I do feel that within the practice some doctors are more thorough and offer more information than others--who will answer questions I have but not necessarily bring everything up unless I suggest it. By now, I've learned who I want to give my child a well-checkup.
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sporty
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Tue, Jul 27 2010, 8:30 pm
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I think that is the thing - where I go something is not addressed unless I bring it up but I do not feel like I am smart enough to know what should be brought up at these visits.
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manhattanmom
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Tue, Jul 27 2010, 8:33 pm
| sporty wrote: | | I think that is the thing - where I go something is not addressed unless I bring it up but I do not feel like I am smart enough to know what should be brought up at these visits. |
IMO, many pediatricians are this way.
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gold21
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Tue, Jul 27 2010, 8:35 pm
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Sporty, my group of pediatricians sounds as about involved as your pediatrician does... im not too happy there... theyre great at checking for ear infections, strep, etc. B"H but they dont know my child at all, and they dont notice issues, even obvious ones!, and if I bring up a concern, they dont remember it the next time I come.... for example, my son has had some issues with enlarged adenoids and he breathed very noisily until he was 1... and I mean really noisy!... none of the doctors ever mentioned this as an issue, and I had to bring it up every stinking time... like Hello?... This group has a very good name in Brooklyn, which is frightening.... If this is "great" then I am not sure I want to experience "less than great"....They really dont think out of the box at all.... Like as long as they checked off all the appropriate milestones on the computer, and my son got his shots, and hes gaining weight appropriately, and theres no ear infection or strep, then all must be well..... Also when I have concerns, they downplay them, which is quite frustrating!!....
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manhattanmom
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Tue, Jul 27 2010, 8:40 pm
gold21:
if something like the enlarged adenoids were written in his chart, why wasn't it mentioned in the next checkup?
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gold21
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Tue, Jul 27 2010, 8:40 pm
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I never even mentioned to my pediatrician that my son had physical therapy for a year, theyre just not that involved with us. also, I have seen a whole bunch of specialists for my son for a few diff issues and I did not feel my pediatric group was proactive AT ALL in following up with the issues...
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gold21
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Tue, Jul 27 2010, 8:42 pm
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manhattanmom, I dunno, I guess they assume I am under the care of an ENT and so im being taken care of?
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manhattanmom
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Tue, Jul 27 2010, 8:43 pm
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gold21--you sound unhappy. Maybe you should look into a different practice for your family?
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gold21
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Tue, Jul 27 2010, 8:44 pm
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manhattanmom, your group sounds awesome. how did you find them? I assume theyre in manhattan. the only group I know of in manhattan is Dr Erika Landau's group and theyre quite thorough too I think... They were my son's group for the first couple of weeks of his life...
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gold21
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Tue, Jul 27 2010, 8:47 pm
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manhattanmom, you are right... but sometimes after seeing a bunch of not-great doctors (specialists and stuff) you wonder if its just you and youre too picky and expect too much from doctors and this is life... maybe the issue is that I dont have great insurance and thats why I get second-rate doctors... thank you for your concern though :-)
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sporty
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Tue, Jul 27 2010, 8:56 pm
Sometimes my ds sounds like he is breathing very heavily in his sleep (and we have heard him snore on occasion)....is that what enlarged adenoids are?
I am not sure what I will do. I need a dr. who will be on top of ME and will ask me questions and pay attention to my childs development instead of me coming in with all of the questions since I sometimes do not even know what I am supposed to be asking.
Also....do pediatricians usually do hearing and vision tests?
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amother
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Tue, Jul 27 2010, 11:51 pm
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I don't understand why you moms would stay with a pediatrician if you are unhappy with them. there are lots of pediatricians out there, you don't owe any of them loyalties, go find the one that you like best. sometimes you can't explain it but you just can't put ur finger on it and something makes you uncomfortable about a dr. or their lack of involvement. you don't need other mothers to validate this, if you feel something is not right, trust your instinct and go to a better practice. im just not getting why some moms are posting that they stayed with a pediatrician for a year or two that they are unhappy with...
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its all good
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Wed, Jul 28 2010, 1:28 am
It sounds like your baby had roseola. Give her Tylenol and she will feel better and perk up after an hour-
and hopefully take some food as well. I goes away in 7 days.
And my doctor is not that proactive either I think you just have to do your own research. As my husband says "knowledge is power" 
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sporty
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Wed, Jul 28 2010, 7:47 am
Amother - it's awkward as our pediatrician is a family friend. A CLOSE family friend.
itsallgood - thanks. It has passed now B"H and it was apparently the coxaskie (sp?) virus. Not sure how she picked it up but it was brutal....
I guess maybe being a mom is about independence however I just feel alone and unknowledgeable and unsure of what is right. I need guidance - frequently.
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estibesty
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Wed, Jul 28 2010, 7:57 am
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theres a dr group here in lakewood the dr sees about 20 kids in 10 minutes no kidding each kid gets about 30 to 60 SECONDS of his ATT and they do not weigh the kids at each visit it is sooo impersonal but this dr. has the largest following here in town
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manhattanmom
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Wed, Jul 28 2010, 9:58 am
| estibesty wrote: | | theres a dr group here in lakewood the dr sees about 20 kids in 10 minutes no kidding each kid gets about 30 to 60 SECONDS of his ATT and they do not weigh the kids at each visit it is sooo impersonal but this dr. has the largest following here in town |
That's really shameful.
But perhaps Lakewood has not enough pediatricians for every kid that lives there? Hm...If I were a pediatrician (far far far from it!) I'd move to Lakewood and hang up my shingle there.
But I have a question for Lakewood parents though--
I've noticed that my friends who live in Lakewood--(who are much more yeshivish, without internet access, etc.) don't seem to know about major baby product recalls and other important things like the fact that baby car seats expire after 6 years! Do you feel that it should be the responsibility of the pediatrician to educate parents about this??
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