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amother


 

Post Sat, Aug 28 2010, 10:12 pm
I have a dilemma and I need some help or advice. (I'm anonymous so people won't figure out my screenname). My baby's one year old birthday is coming up. Everyone in my family and my husbands family is excited natrually and want to make a celebration. The thing is I'm really into eating healthy food, I have never given my baby anything with sugar or chemicals etc... and I intend to keep her eating healthy as long as possible. This is a REALLY thing to me, which brings me to my big dilemma (it may not seem like a big deal to some but to me, it is). My mother in law is a sweety and she loves baking cakes and cookies etc.. and she can't wait to bake my baby a birthday cupcake laden with icing and sugar.
In general, my in laws just don't get it when it comes to eating healthy, I've tried explaining to them that I don't want anyone giving my baby foods that are not natrual, nutritious, healthy, organic etc... but they just don't get it. I love them dearly cuz they are wonderful people but I don't know what to do about the cupcake and junk food in general. Should I just grit my teeth and let my mother in law give my baby cake and sugar (which is done out of ignorance on her part, nothing more) or say something to her and possibly kill the joy she has in baking her grandchild cupcakes which is an expression of her love... Will letting my baby have a cupcake with icing mean she will only want sweet stuff from now on or will it just be a one time thing that she will soon forget and continue eating the healthy food I give her... Sorry so long, I know it may seem very petty and silly but its a really big deal to me and I'd appreciate some advice from anyone who's been in simalar shoes...
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bnm




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 28 2010, 10:24 pm
ask her to make a carrot cake or squash kugel in muffins.
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Chocoholic




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 28 2010, 10:28 pm
Can you let her have poison for just one day a year?
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sneakermom




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 28 2010, 11:17 pm
The healthiest way to eat for mind and body, considering that you live among other people in today's world - is to have lots of healthy food at home, eat healthy food yourself but not to make food a huge issue. That is a big no no.

If you are going to start power struggling about food, your kid is going to become obsessed with the whole matter. She might try every chance she has to sneak nosh from others, or she might power struggle with you about not eating.

Extreme thinking, extreme caution about health does not necessarily equal more health.

I say relax. Teach your kid to enjoy good healthy food, but also teach her that food isn't necessarily evil or so powerful to have terrible control over her. It's just food. She is a special Yiddishe girl with so many more important things to focus on.

If it makes you feel better ask mil to bake a carrot cake. But just know, that chocolate icing - will not hurt your little girl. She has strong bones and tissue all based on organic and healthy nutrients - and it won't change a bit from some fun food. Really....her body has a digestive system and it will get rid of all the toxins and sugars and she will be sweet and organic as ever!

Happy Birthday! Wishing you lots of nachas.
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Simple1




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 28 2010, 11:23 pm
sneakermom wrote:
The healthiest way to eat for mind and body, considering that you live among other people in today's world - is to have lots of healthy food at home, eat healthy food yourself but not to make food a huge issue. That is a big no no.

If you are going to start power struggling about food, your kid is going to become obsessed with the whole matter. She might try every chance she has to sneak nosh from others, or she might power struggle with you about not eating.

Extreme thinking, extreme caution about health does not necessarily equal more health.

I say relax. Teach your kid to enjoy good healthy food, but also teach her that food isn't necessarily evil or so powerful to have terrible control over her. It's just food. She is a special Yiddishe girl with so many more important things to focus on.

If it makes you feel better ask mil to bake a carrot cake. But just know, that chocolate icing - will not hurt your little girl. She has strong bones and tissue all based on organic and healthy nutrients - and it won't change a bit from some fun food. Really....her body has a digestive system and it will get rid of all the toxins and sugars and she will be sweet and organic as ever!

Happy Birthday! Wishing you lots of nachas.


Agree!
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MiracleMama




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 28 2010, 11:26 pm
Maybe you'll get lucky like I did. I'm into health food too and my oldest's first birthday was his first exposure to any kind of cake or sugar. I caved to the pressure from family and the one I got for him was very, very sugary. I figured one time a year, okay. He spit it out!!! Can't tell you how much that made my day. LOL
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amother


 

Post Sat, Aug 28 2010, 11:31 pm
OP here- (commenting on above post) I would be THRILLED if my baby spit it out! LOL
Also sneakermom, thank you for your advice. You made me feel better. I definitley do not intend on making my kids feel so restricted and deprived that they try to sneak nosh when I'm not around. I've met kids like that before and I think their parents are doing a huge disservice to them. I just figured that since I have control over what she eats at this point in her life, should I make an issue over it or not. I guess I should just let her have her cake and make my MIL happy and life will go on... I was more curious if this is like "opening an pandora's box" for my baby or will she soon forget the taste of the sweetness... its my first baby so I have no idea what to expect... never been thru this before
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CrunchyNotFlakey




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 29 2010, 12:08 am
sneakermom wrote:
The healthiest way to eat for mind and body, considering that you live among other people in today's world - is to have lots of healthy food at home, eat healthy food yourself but not to make food a huge issue. That is a big no no.

If you are going to start power struggling about food, your kid is going to become obsessed with the whole matter. She might try every chance she has to sneak nosh from others, or she might power struggle with you about not eating.

Extreme thinking, extreme caution about health does not necessarily equal more health.

I say relax. Teach your kid to enjoy good healthy food, but also teach her that food isn't necessarily evil or so powerful to have terrible control over her. It's just food. She is a special Yiddishe girl with so many more important things to focus on.

If it makes you feel better ask mil to bake a carrot cake. But just know, that chocolate icing - will not hurt your little girl. She has strong bones and tissue all based on organic and healthy nutrients - and it won't change a bit from some fun food. Really....her body has a digestive system and it will get rid of all the toxins and sugars and she will be sweet and organic as ever!

Happy Birthday! Wishing you lots of nachas.


I could not agree more!
Wow! so well put...
I was like this with my first child. After they start school or playgroup, you lose almost all control or knowledge of what your child is eating.
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Sweet Valley Gal




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 29 2010, 12:36 am
MiracleMama wrote:
Maybe you'll get lucky like I did. I'm into health food too and my oldest's first birthday was his first exposure to any kind of cake or sugar. I caved to the pressure from family and the one I got for him was very, very sugary. I figured one time a year, okay. He spit it out!!! Can't tell you how much that made my day. LOL
my dd does the same thing!!
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ysydmom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 29 2010, 3:44 am
First of all maybe sit down and explain to your mom and in laws about the natural way you are bringing up your kids, explain to them that you are trying to be careful for health reasons as you want her grandchild to grow up and live a long healthy and happy life.

That being said ask her to make something that is healthy and give her the recipe, say btw can you make a fruit platter, tofu cheese cake which is delicous and takes 2 min. to make, or some other idea. Ask her to buy the nosh soy chips, pot. poppers etc.

If she still insits and you really don't want it in your house, ask your rav what to do.

Happy Bday.
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ysydmom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 29 2010, 3:44 am
First of all maybe sit down and explain to your mom and in laws about the natural way you are bringing up your kids, explain to them that you are trying to be careful for health reasons as you want her grandchild to grow up and live a long healthy and happy life.

That being said ask her to make something that is healthy and give her the recipe, say btw can you make a fruit platter, tofu cheese cake which is delicous and takes 2 min. to make, or some other idea. Ask her to buy the nosh soy chips, pot. poppers etc.

If she still insits and you really don't want it in your house, ask your rav what to do.

Happy Bday.
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BeershevaBubby




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 29 2010, 4:14 am
My initial reaction was 'oh, it's just one cake, let your MIL make it however she wants and let your daughter have just the one piece'...

The problem is, it sets a precedent.

If you allow your MIL to make the cake and make the kind of cake she usually does, the next time you're at her house or have her over or whatever, and she wants to give your daughter sugary foods or food that doesn't go according to your 'hashkafa', she'll forever be throwing the 'but remember for her birthday she had XYZ and nothing bad happened to her" back at you.

You need to set the ground rules now.

IMO, there are plenty of healthy cake recipes out there that your MIL can make and if you Google 'sugar free frosting', she can find plenty of healthy alternatives.

I would talk to her and I would let her know that you appreciate the fact that she enjoys to bake and you'd love for her to make a birthday cake for your daughter, but it needs to be on your terms - healthy.
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life'sgreat




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 29 2010, 3:34 pm
I don't see why you'd take the joy out of bubby's making a cake. Food, especially in such limited quantities, isn't poison. You are almost hitting the stage where you start losing control over your child's choices of food, especially once your child starts leaving the house daily. Let bubby be. Let baby be. Let mom be. Smile

As an aside, I had a neighbor whose mom really limited their sweets/junk intake. We were their address, to the point that they used to try to steal food from us. They did the same to many neighbors, as well as in school/playgroup.
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shanie5




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 29 2010, 10:39 pm
I remember my first sons lollipop. My fil wanted to give it to him his first purim-about 10 months old. I said he wouldnt know what to do with it. My fil laughed and said he will too. He was right. DS enjoyed it very much, and went back to happily eating whatever I gave him.
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