I just experienced a mothers worst nightmare!

amother

Tue, Sep 14 2010, 2:31 pm

When I saw the subject of this thread, I thought to myself..."it must be Child Protective Services."

HUGE hugs, I know EXACTLY what you are going through...this happened to us about 10 1/2 months ago. I was absolutely shaking. It was terrifying. I actually am still very nervous and had a nightmare just last night, the whole incident has been on my mind lately since I am still hoping the people involved will ask for mechilla from us (although this probably won't happen).

I'd be more than happy to help you through this and share my experience. I would rather not do it openly (thus, I am amother) because I am still very much afraid of the people who did it to us. If there is some way we can be in contact, I will share what happened. We are totally innocent and never did anything wrong. I can give you great advice and encouragement on how to handle the follow-up visit, pediatrician visits, etc as well as on how to handle all the emotions you are experiencing. It's so hard, especially when you did NOTHING wrong.

I try very hard not to HATE the people who did this to us My husband just tells me some people just can't help it if they are totally stupid. It was planned for days, in part as a revenge tactic and for other obnoxious reasons, all while my father was fighting for his life in ICU. They did it the day after I got home from visiting him out-of-state for what I thought was my last visit with him as all his organs were failing. They must have thought my whole house would be a wreck and upside down given the circumstances of my father. Actually, when they showed up....my house was spotless, my older kids were having a snack, my younger ones were playing with trains, my baby was napping, I was just about to make dinner. Their timing makes me so angry...I often think "what if I had JUST gotten a call that my father hadn't made it and then I was standing there scared out of my mind that my kids were going to be taken away?" Those involved all KNEW that he was sick. It was planned on MONDAY and this happened on Thursday. So much for their plan, though.

There are so many disturbing details of what happened. We should somehow be in touch.

amother

Tue, Sep 14 2010, 3:20 pm

amother wrote:

Calls are checked out when child services have time. They do not show up at s/o house the same day as a call is made-unless there is real fear of physical abuse. And even then its iffy for them to show up right away. So no matter how s/o planned to 'tattle' on you, they can never know exactly when child services will show up at your door.

amother

Tue, Sep 14 2010, 3:59 pm

amother wrote:

Not true at all. It depends on what the caller says and not necessarilly one that denotes physical abuse. In our case, the call was made at 4:00 pm, 10 minutes after school let out. The call was initiated from the school. The worker was at our house at 4:20. We asked her when the call was made. She said it was made at 4:00, she got her coat on left. The caller also knew it would happen that day. One other person involved in the call being made on Thursday told us he knew on Monday that this was going to happen "a few days later"

amother

Tue, Sep 14 2010, 3:59 pm

amother wrote:

amother

Tue, Sep 14 2010, 3:59 pm

amother wrote:

amother

Tue, Sep 14 2010, 9:08 pm

amother wrote:

amother

Tue, Sep 14 2010, 9:28 pm

amother wrote:

Other amother here: You're welcome. I know how scary it is and how painful it is that someone could do this. When they contacted our pediatrician (we didn't give a heads-up first at all} he was so supportive and shocked that anyone could do this to our family. Even the nurse felt so bad. If you have taken the kids for their check-ups, etc, don't worry about the pediatrician. Our call came on Thursday, we had to race them to the pediatrician Erev Shabbos due to the ages of some of my children. The only appt we could get was 3:00 pm. Shabbos started at 5. That just added to the nightmare. It was good to know that he was so supportive, though, so it was worth it. We actually contacted a lawyer to find out our rights. Given all the circumstances surounding this call, we thought it would be a good idea. And it was. Two weeks later a second call from the school came (although I am not sure people there realize we know this. The worker by this point already knew we were innocent. So whichever moron decided to call 2 weeks later really messed up. The person called because one of my kids was crying in school. Ridiculous, no? Why was the poor kids crying? She went to her classroom and her class wasn't there. No one was in that particular hallway, so she was alone. Apparently, no one told her there was extra recess time given. Whoever called saw her crying So, some lousy teacher called CPS b/c she was crying. Obviously, they knew CPS had been contacted prior and who the worker was. I don't know if it was the inital caller or a 2nd caller. Very disturbing. The worker called me that afternoon, thankfully no surprise visit again.)

amother

Tue, Sep 14 2010, 10:25 pm

IloveHashem613 wrote:

chaylizi wrote:

Ilovehashem26 wrote:

I hope that didnt come off as harsh, OP, I didnt mean it to- I was just re-reading it.. You have every right to be upset, I just wanted to point out that its not the end of the world and life goes on... You are totally entitled to be shocked and in need of some comfort though. I send you hugs too Hug

Unfortunately, OP had/has reason to be nervous. Plenty of children have been removed from their homes because of ignorant or cruel people who make up lies about others. OP, when you are cleared, I would make sure they have this person's name on file as having submitted a baseless report. It can & will be held against him if he does it again.

I haven't read through this whole thread, but Chaylizi, as far as the bolded part; why would you say something like this to the OP?? Don't you think she's nervous enough as is??

Because false reassurances are stupid & dangerous. If a kid can get removed from his house because he has a birthmark that happens to look like bruises, kids can get removed for any reason. If she has a neighbor who is vicious enough to submit lies about her to a government agency, she should know to be careful.

amother

Tue, Sep 14 2010, 10:27 pm

amother wrote:

Wonder what they said. The call received about us was not checked out that day. I know others who have called for good reason (not on me or anyone I know), and they seemed very indifferent to the situation.

amother

Tue, Sep 14 2010, 10:38 pm

amother wrote:

There are probably different regulations in different states.

amother

Wed, Sep 15 2010, 1:31 am

amother wrote:

Actually they told me that a call came in that day.

Thank you everyone for your support and advice (and to the amother above who shared her story.) So far they have not contacted any of the people I gave them references about. Hopefully that's a good thing.[/quote]

Wonder what they said. The call received about us was not checked out that day. I know others who have called for good reason (not on me or anyone I know), and they seemed very indifferent to the situation.[/quote]

op here.
they said that I leave my children unattended. I'm getting quite freaked out by reading all these "horror" stories. The reps did say that this is an "easy case" and they want to close it too. (in response to my inquiry as what I need to do further.)[/quote]

"other" amother from above here: We were also told it was an easy case as well. She said from the second she walked in she knew there was no case. Actually, I started to cry the second she said who she was and where she was from. She said this doesn't happen if something IS wrong. And that was just in my foyer. What prolonged the case was the nature of the call and that we had a small baby. There were certain protocols that they needed to follow. A visit at 2 weeks, then again at 60 days. The 60 days fell around X-mas, so our file just sat on her desk for a time since it wasn't a high priority case and we were already clear.

I was so nervous about more visits. However, my husband was great and put a new perspective on the follow-ups...he said every time they come, they see just how great our house is and it just shows her more and more how wrong these people were. Obviously, cooperating with whatever they needed from us all along the way. It's so hard to go through, I know. I still shudder almost a year later. It is such a hard thing to deal with.

I have gotten a lot of comments recently which are very upsetting about the situation, especially since our kids no longer attend that school. My husband just told me to ask them if they have ever experienced what we went through. When they say no, just to say well then please don't comment since you have never walked in our shoes. Haven't tried it yet, though. I find it quite sad how much Loshon Hara can be brewing about a family totally without their knowledge for YEARS.