Attention Litivish or Chassidish Mothers and Freidasima

Isramom8

Sun, Sep 19 2010, 5:30 pm

You may lie if asked if you had relations the previous night. It doesn't say you may lie about marital relations or kissing taking place in frum marriages in general, or call a mitzva an aveira .

Let a man who has been learning his whole life show me the source for the latter two.

One of the sourced proofs of matan Torah is that parents don't lie to their children. If they do, then our entire mesorah is a question, chas veshalom.

What else does such a man lie about? Think, OP. This cycle should be delicately stopped by you.

amother

Sun, Sep 19 2010, 6:07 pm

Isramom8 wrote:

You may lie if asked if you had relations the previous night. It doesn't say you may lie about marital relations or kissing taking place in frum marriages in general, or call a mitzva an aveira .

Are you allowed to lie when someone asks you where you are going when you are on your way to mikva?

Did Aharon Hakohen lie to people while trying to make Shalom between them?

By the way, did anyone ever ask you if you had relations the night before?

Isramom8

Sun, Sep 19 2010, 6:12 pm

amother wrote:

Isramom8 wrote:

You may lie if asked if you had relations the previous night. It doesn't say you may lie about marital relations or kissing taking place in frum marriages in general, or call a mitzva an aveira .

I never lie about going to the mikva, but I don't say the whole truth either.
Aharon Hakohen simply emphasized a certain perspective.
Yes, people have alluded to the question of whether I had relations the previous night, and I didn't say no or yes.

Last edited by Isramom8 on Sun, Sep 19 2010, 6:12 pm; edited 1 time in total

5S5Sr7z3

Sun, Sep 19 2010, 6:12 pm

amother wrote:

sequoia wrote:

That's for your OWN privacy in the face of busybodies.

NOT chinuch purposes.

Says Who? I imagine you haven't read this particular piece of gemora. So, you're interpreting it in capital letters for a man who has been learning his whole life?

Can this man who has been learning his entire life please quote a source for this little piece of info? Thank you kindly.

BeershevaBubby

Sun, Sep 19 2010, 6:13 pm

sequoia wrote:

Amother, you are sidestepping the issue, which is twofold:

1. Are you allowed to slander people?

2. Are you allowed to call a mitzvah an aveira?

As far as the OP is concerned your questions are irrelevant because you obviously don't fit any of the three categories listed in the title of the thread and therefore are irrelevant to this discussion and her consideration as she has stated at least twice.

amother

Sun, Sep 19 2010, 6:26 pm

sequoia wrote:

Amother, you are sidestepping the issue, which is twofold:

1. Are you allowed to slander people?

2. Are you allowed to call a mitzvah an aveira?

Sequoia, I am sidestepping nothing.
People weren't slandered. Something very unfortunate happened and my daughter was witness to something that according to all of her education and upbringing looked wrong to her. Very wrong. My husband allowed her to continue thinking that this is wrong. He is not obligated to correct her wrong impression.
and
2. Yes. In this case there is no choice but to let her continue thinking that this is wrong.
She does not have the emotional tools to accept or understand any other reality at this point, in our opinion. When she will have these tools she will learn the truth and understand why we let her continue thinking what she thinks. You don't have to like it and you don't have to agree. It's our family and our decision.

On the other hand, neither you nor Isramom8 have the tools to determine what is written in the gemara concerning what one may lie about. How is it that a person is allowed to lie about the great hospitality in someone's house so that people won't stampede it but he is not allowed to lie to protect his daughter's state of mind? Which one of you imamothers is the big gemaa kup that knows so much about what was meant in the gemaora? Do we get into deep, learning arguments now?

I DON'T CARE WHAT IMAMOTHER THINKS ABOUT WHAT WE'RE DOING. So, read my lips: TOUGH LUCK if you don't like the way we're doing things. No, I am not convinced by 6 pages of people that I feel do not necessarily know what they're talking about especially since they do not know the people involved and the exact situation. Once again, I would like to thank everyone for their opinions (and for trying so hard to save my soul) and say ADIOS and See you on the recipe forum!

Salut

Tehilla

Sun, Sep 19 2010, 6:35 pm

amother wrote:

Tehilla wrote:

So why the hockeysticks did you bother to ask?

You're one of my favorite posters so I'll repeat this for the third time. I asked last night before I spoke with my husband. Seems I started something that just won't end.

Well, thank you. I'm sure I love you too. Wink

I missed the part about before asking your husband. I'll keep my opinions to myself. I was missing a bit of key information here. Why don't you just PM a mod?