Ulterior Motives | Imamother

freidasima

Fri, Dec 28 2007, 2:33 am

There is absolutely nothing wrong in doing Chessed for a double motive, to do chessed and to have the "experience"...because "mitoch shelo lishmo...." we often get to lishmo...and having "experiences" enrich us as Yidden, as human beings, and for the boys whose experiences started this thread, as future parents...you learn something everywhere which can make you into a better frum Yid...if you just open yourself up...

Chessed it an indescribable thing. It is what makes the world go around. And having known some wonderful non jews in my days in America we should maybe remember that Chessed is something that all of Hashem's creations can do...not only Yidden, and not only Human Beings. Ever see a motherless kitten? And how another Cat will sometimes adopt it? For what? I would liek to believe that there is even a type of animal's Chessed..of course not on our madreigah but still...

Anyhow that's what I have told my children, that on my matzeiva when the time comes the only thing I want other than my personal details is the posuk from Tehilim "Olom Chessed Yiboneh"...

morningstar

Fri, Dec 28 2007, 6:57 am

Quote:

There is absolutely nothing wrong in doing Chessed for a double motive, to do chessed and to have the "experience"...because "mitoch shelo lishmo...." we often get to lishmo

If there would be absolutely nothing wrong with doing chesed for a double motive, then Chazal would not have to say "metoch shelo lishma ba lishma"

It is acceptable to do Chesed for a double motive, and better to do it for a double motive than not to do it at all, but we should aspire to do things for pure motives, shouldn't we?

Still, criticizing the motives of others who do good things seems to me to be the work of the Yetzer Hara . . . and not likely to lead to more chesed.

louche

Fri, Dec 28 2007, 8:26 am

morningstar wrote:

we should aspire to do things for pure motives, shouldn't we?

Sure, and we should also all eat an apple because we want to make a bracha, not because our belly is rumbling. We should daven for health when we're sick ach verak so that we should be strong enough to mitzvot, not because we're in pain and we just can't stand it. we should do mitzvot just because Hashem told us to and not because we're afraid of the consequences, but you know what? These are ideals, and we are all just plain human beings with human frailities and failings.

Thank G-d we have a religion that emphasizes what we do over what we think.

freidasima

Sat, Dec 29 2007, 11:41 am

My father z"l used to teach me that in birkas hachodesh it says "yiras shomayim" twice for a reason...the first time is "yiras shomayim veyiras chet" and the second time is "ahavas torah veyiras shomayim". Why? Because most people are on the madreigoh of the first. We have yiras shomayim because we are afraid of sin. We don't want to be punished. We don't want to be in gehenom...it's like keeping the law because we are afraid of the policeman on the corner...

But he taught me that the Gerrer Rebbe says that we should aspire to the second one...to ahavas torah veyiras shomayim. That our yiras shomayim should be because of our love for Torah! For Hashem! Not because of the "policeman on the corner"...that's the madregoh that we should all aspire to...

However in real life we can't always do that...and so there is a double thing involved...and for those who can't reach the second, there is the first...which, no matter how you turn the reason, is still "yiras shomayim" in practice...and as much as kavonoh is important, the long and the short is carrying out the mitzvos in practice with the hope that we will eventually become spiritually stronger and do it with the correct kavonoh...and reach that madregoh of Ahavas Torah Veyiras Shomayim.

I try to remember that and I think that's what you mean here Morningstar...do I understand you right?