Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants
Baby home alone?
1  2  3  4  5  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

be good




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2010, 9:34 pm
we live in an apt building, and have close friends on our floor. my dc goes to sleep at 7 and sleeps through the night, until about 6am. (any crying or whimpering doesnt even last a minute)

dh thinks its perfectly reasonable to go to a party two blocks away for two hours, while dc is in the crib with momitor on and the other part of the monitor at the neighbor down the hall. he says its no different from having a baby upstairs in thehouse while we are downstairs. if the neighbor hears anything out of the ordinary they will cann us and we will be back in under 5 minutes, plus we will give the neighbor a key to our apartment.

it seems to make perfect logical sense, and yet I feel uncomfortable with it for some reason.

what are your thoughts?
Back to top

MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2010, 9:38 pm
I would never, ever do this. What if there was a fire? Smoke alarms don't always detect it soon enough. And the neighbor would have to start unlocking the door, running in. . . It's a very scary thought. Is it even legal?

There are lots of people who do this. But not me.
Back to top

be good




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2010, 9:40 pm
that is an important thought. thank you!!
Back to top

amother


 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2010, 9:42 pm
No! Don't do it! A neighbor can't necessarilly hear a fire starting in another room, someone breaking into a window in another room. What if the neighbor falls asleep and doesn't hear your baby? Or the neighbor gets distracted with her own children and forgets about yours? A baby monitor is not a repacement for proper supervision.

You feel uncomfortable because you know it's not the right thing to do!
Back to top

MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2010, 9:44 pm
Just wanted to add - you're a mommy. If you're uncomfortable about something, trust your gut feeling. . . It's usually that bina yesaira talking Wink
Back to top

observer




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2010, 9:44 pm
definitely would NOT do it. dc is worth whatever a babysitter would cost.
Back to top

the world's best mom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2010, 9:49 pm
That is dangerous. Fires, carbon monoxide leaks, burgalers, and malfunctioning monitors are possiblities that would have me worrying all night. Besides, I check on my babies every so often to make sure they're still breathing. And what if the key gets lost, or stuck in the lock ad noone could get in? These things happen. I know I sound like a big worrier and I suppose I am, but I still think it's very dangerous. How hard is it to get a babysitter after all?
Back to top

louche




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2010, 9:54 pm
I'll refrain from my usual ARE YOU CRAZY DON'T EVEN THINK OF DOING SUCH A THING IT'S ABSOLUTELY CRIMINAL NEGLECT AND I SHOULD REPORT YOU TO THE AUTHORITIES. I would if I knew who you were.

Instead, I will simply point out that leaving a child younger than 13 home alone is illegal in the state of New York among others, and you could be arrested for doing such a thing. Your child could even be removed from your care and put in foster care. And you would deserve it, though the baby wouldn't.

No, a neighbor with a monitor is NOT like having a child on the second floor of your house. There are two locked apt. doors between your baby and your neighbor. Seconds count in an emergency, especially a fire. Is your neighbor walking around with your key in her hand? Does your neighbor down the hall smell the smoke in your apt?

Now suppose your baby is choking ch"V. How long will it take for your neighbor to hear the baby choking, realize what she's hearing, find the key, race to your apt., unlock the door, race to the baby's room and do what needs to be done?

Or suppose your neighbor gets a phone call. Is she listening to the monitor while she's on the phone?

Either you hire a sitter or you don't go to the party. Being a parent means you can't always do what you want to do because there is a young life depending on you. You're a grownup now; start acting like one.
Back to top

Sweet Valley Gal




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2010, 9:55 pm
never. dh would also but im always saying no no no. My main concern is a fire. Even tho I know my child sleeps thru and never wakes up... u never know.

I have a friend who leaves a monitor by a neighbor 2 houses down Rolling Eyes shock and another whose husband driver her to work int he morning while baby is still sleeping at home and all alone..... and they think its perfectly fine.... to each his own but I would never.
Back to top

Utah




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2010, 9:59 pm
Nope. Do not do that. We had a fire in our house last year. I was home. The smoke detectors hadn't alerted me to the fire yet. I noticed it and flew out the door with my three kids baruch Hashem!
Back to top

louche




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2010, 10:13 pm
I'm gasping from horror here, though I ought not to be b/c this topic has raised its ugly head on imamother before.

Every so often--like every three weeks--we hear a radio news clip about an Ivette Rodriguez or a Shaniqua Jones who left her young child/ren home alone to attend a party and came back to find them dead from smoke inhalation, or strangled by their bedding, or mauled by the family dog, or not there because a neighbor heard the baby crying and called the police.

And all us sanctimonious perfect Yiddishe Mammas tsk tsk and say "you see what kind of mothers these people are? a Yiddishe would never do such a thing."

Uh-huh.
Back to top

cookielady




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2010, 10:18 pm
In addition to the danger factor, who could live with themselves if c's their baby died in sleep while parents are out partying, driving to work etc. Sadly this can happen for reasons unknown, which is terrible enough. Why add the horrendous guilt that will come with having left your baby alone.
Back to top

overthehill




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2010, 10:24 pm
You- or your husband who is a genius for suggesting such a dumb, moronic idea ought to have your parental licences revoked. Seriously.
What kind of train of thought could you or he possibly have that would suggest such an illogical, illegal dangerous idea?

The thought of any mother posting such a question here leads me to believe that perhaps you need to both sit down with each other and re-examine your priorities and responsibilties as parents.
Back to top

amother


 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2010, 10:45 pm
When my husband and I were seperated I did this once. It made me uncomfortable but in that time I had no choice.

And as a newlywed I kept the other half of a monitor for a friend who lived one flight down.

Knowing what I know now, I would never do it again. But when I was young and naïve, I simply didn't know better.

Don't do it.
Back to top

observer




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2010, 11:27 pm
Sweet Valley Gal wrote:
I have a friend who leaves a monitor by a neighbor 2 houses down Rolling Eyes shock and another whose husband driver her to work int he morning while baby is still sleeping at home and all alone..... and they think its perfectly fine.... to each his own but I would never.


I am so horrified. besides the obvious danger and risk for leaving baby alone for even a few minutes, what if he got into a car accident ch'v on the way home? he would be out for half an hour? or would he tell the police 'sorry, gotta go to my baby who is home alone'. and what if baby woke up and screamed for a half hour? (this is all besides the obvious risks and dangers)
Back to top

Sweet Valley Gal




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2010, 11:32 pm
observer wrote:
Sweet Valley Gal wrote:
I have a friend who leaves a monitor by a neighbor 2 houses down Rolling Eyes shock and another whose husband driver her to work int he morning while baby is still sleeping at home and all alone..... and they think its perfectly fine.... to each his own but I would never.


I am so horrified. besides the obvious danger and risk for leaving baby alone for even a few minutes, what if he got into a car accident ch'v on the way home? he would be out for half an hour? or would he tell the police 'sorry, gotta go to my baby who is home alone'. and what if baby woke up and screamed for a half hour? (this is all besides the obvious risks and dangers)
yes I know that. when she told me she thought it was sooooo smart of them that they thought of this. he can quickly take her and then rush back and by that time he will be up and ready to be dressed and taken to the babysitter. (the couple happens to be extremely immature)

I am the older, more mature neighbor who she listens to, I gave her such a yelling I told her are you crazy and I listed all the things that could happen. She was horrified. It didnt even occur to her that she was doing something wrong. She thought it was perfectly safe to do that They got married very young and had a baby bh right away.
Back to top

amother


 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2010, 11:39 pm
Instead of going to this party together, why don't the 2 of you take turns. You can go first just after the baby falls asleep and then once you have come back home your husband can go. Then you both won't miss out and your child will be watched the entire time.
If people say anything, say you couldn't find a sitter for the evening and therefore you are taking turns in attending!!!
Back to top

Mama Bear




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2010, 11:46 pm
Since youre only talking about one baby, can the baby sleep at the neighbor's while youre at the party?

a honestly, a monitor is only something to do in a real emergency for a short time (older child's bus comes and baby is asleep, for instance), not for a preplanned thing, certainly not for 2 hours.

My downstairs neighbor once called me at 9:30 pm... her brother is getting engaged, her parents are insisting that everyone has to go to the vort, it's in monsey, she'll be back by midnight! her 2 kids (age 2 & 4) are asleep, can I take her monitor?

I felt really, really uncomfortable doing it, esp as my dh had arrived home from 8 days in meron that night, I was chalishing for sleep, I stayed up with the monitor til.... 1:30 a.m.!!! At some point the monitor's batteries ran out, so I went to sit outside her door til she came home! not cool, not responsible.
Back to top

cubbie




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 29 2010, 11:58 pm
do you know how many times I realized I left my cellphone in the car outside my building and put the baby for a nap already and I'm ground floor yet I won't go get it until the baby has woken up and I can take her with me - it would take me 30 seconds, but I't not something I'd consider. But then again I'm one of those people who doesn't leave the baby outside the store, or in the car.
Back to top

mom4life




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 30 2010, 9:39 am
Just to preface this - I personally would not do this.

The OP told us she wasn't comfortable with this and all we would have to say is you're right it is dangerous and list the reasons why. I think some of the comments are over the line and rude. Its dangerous and illegal and so on but how does it help to make the OP feel bad? It will just make her less likely to post a question when she's unsure about something or more likely to post as amother.
Back to top
Page 1 of 5 1  2  3  4  5  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Baby girl names with Hashem's name in it
by amother
18 Today at 3:42 am View last post
Baby girl shabbos stretchies/footies
by ThisMom
2 Today at 3:22 am View last post
How to avoid vaccinating my baby until school
by amother
213 Today at 1:41 am View last post
[ Poll ] How much do you usually spend on a baby gift?
by amother
15 Yesterday at 8:05 pm View last post
by ynms
Chin to chest in baby tub
by amother
4 Yesterday at 4:28 pm View last post