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Forum -> Children's Health
2.5 year old with no group social skills - normal?



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amother


 

Post Wed, Dec 08 2010, 12:19 pm
My son is almost 2 1/2. When we started playgroup in September not too long after he turned two, we specifically chose a larger playgroup. I told everyone I made that choice because "If I had a shy kid, I'd think differently. But ds is so active and social - I feel like he'd really enjoy this!" He was VERY verbal for a kid his age, speaking full sentences easily, could count to ten, identify all his letters, the works. And he did most of it on his own, just asking me over and over again "What this letter, Mommy?"

Fast forward several months, and ds seems to be happy at playgroup. Not as excited as I'd hoped...and now I'm thinking he's just "accepted" that it's where he has to go and would really not be there at all. I don't know. They do a lot of fun things with the kids, I love the teachers...but only a few of 15 or so kids are his age. The rest are just-turned-two or even younger, and were barely talking at all at the beginning of the school year.

But. His teachers say he doesn't interact socially with the other kids much at all. I thought it was so strange - after all, he's so outgoing at home! But in recent months, he's been hitting the terrible twos harder and harder. We visited his cousin recently, who he doesn't see for a month or two at a time, and the two of them played together so well - although his cousin is about a year older than him. He always plays well with his cousin, and he used to play so well with random kids at the park or outside as well. Now I'm realizing that I'm not sure I've seen him done that recently.

Especially in large groups, he sort of retreats into himself and goes off to play alone. I'm assuming that's what's happening in his playgroup. I feel for him, because I've never liked large groups and often reacted the same way.

Now I've been given the chance for him to switch - along with four other kids - to a new class. It will be a group with only five kids, but only one teacher. The kids are all actually his age, give or take, and are the most advanced from the previous class.

So I have two questions.

1) This is my first. Is it normal for a 2.5 year old to not play together with other kids in the group? The teachers seem to think it's an issue, but not one that I should be overly concerned about. Just a bit concerned about.

2) Should I switch him? I don't know the teacher from the second class, and I absolutely love the teachers from the first class. I don't really like the idea of having only one teacher in the room, without even an aide - let's say she needs to be one-on-one with a kid - an accident or something else? There's no one to cover her back. I'm going to try to find out more about her, but in the meantime...WWYD?
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Merrymom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 08 2010, 12:49 pm
I'd switch him. You don't want him to just tolerate the group but to thrive in it.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Dec 08 2010, 4:17 pm
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. I'm going to check out this teacher first, though.

But is this normal for a 2 1/2 year old kid?
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octopus




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 08 2010, 4:25 pm
My personal gut says that you shouldn't worry. For all of you out there that are so gung-ho about 2 year olds getting the proper socialization- I will tell you this: Two year olds DO NOT play with eachother. They parallel play. Playing together doesn't happen until they are older. Parallel play means that the children can play with the same toy, and play next to eachother- but are not really interacting. I think this morah is an alarmist.

I think putting him in a group with 5 kids is excellent. At this age you need a small group and a warm and loving morah. Very little else matters. Your child is fine. If you see him interacting with family nicely I wouldn't worry at all.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 08 2010, 11:00 pm
I think that if this is his first interaction with a group of kids at one time then it is totally normal. I work in a gan for 3 year olds. there are two kids that never went to gan before, meaning that this is the first time they are out of the house. one little girl, still now in december, is having social issues getting used to the idea of interacting with other kids. I think you just have to give it time.
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