Using marital beds

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Forum -> Judaism -> Halachic Questions and Discussions

Using marital beds

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cmg770

Mon, Jun 11 2012, 1:59 pm

We are having friends stay in our apartment whilst we are away. Can they use our beds? (Marital beds)

syrima

Mon, Jun 11 2012, 2:03 pm

Why not? Just change the sheets...

amother

Mon, Jun 11 2012, 2:08 pm

what does "marital beds" mean?

zaq

Mon, Jun 11 2012, 2:31 pm

If the OP's first language is Spanish, she means a double bed. Otherwise, I suppose she means whichever beds she and her dh use to engage in marital relations, which are presumably the ones in their own bedroom as opposed to any other bedroom.

mizle10

Mon, Jun 11 2012, 3:20 pm

Maybe she's nervous to give them a double bed in case she's a niddah?

cmg770

Mon, Jun 11 2012, 3:30 pm

OP here I am from England and when talking about the beds in the master bedroom I grew up using the term Marital beds. We have 2 single beds in the master bedroom. I am new to married life so not sure what the situation was with letting guests stay in your bed.

Hashemlovesme

Mon, Jun 11 2012, 4:05 pm

where I live ppl lend their appts (& their rooms) out for Shabbos all the time.

Mon, Jun 11 2012, 4:42 pm

In the US it is totally normal.

zaq

Mon, Jun 11 2012, 7:33 pm

there's nothing wrong with letting guests sleep in your bed; in fact it's the hospitable thing to do if your beds are the best ones in the house. I assume you're providing freshly laundered linens.

Many amothers here are squeamish about letting anyone else into their bedroom, let alone sleep in their bed, but you don't have to be. If your bedroom is decorated bordello style, if you have naughty pictures of yourselves hanging on the walls, if stacks of "marital aids" and "how-to" manuals clutter the nightstand, obviously you would remove those things and any other intensely personal items and store them in an inaccessible place, preferably under lock and key.

Do what you need to do to make your room look less like a love nest and more like a guest house, and sally forth to keep the mitzvah of hachnossas orchim with a clear conscience.

simba

Mon, Jun 11 2012, 7:53 pm

I would have no problem with having a couple stay in my bedroom. My DH would prefer not, he is grossed out by it. It is your personal space and decide what you are comfortable with.
Either way you are entitled!

sar

Mon, Jun 11 2012, 8:01 pm

no halachic problem but sooooooo awkward!!

buzz

Mon, Jun 11 2012, 8:18 pm

I would never...

observer

Mon, Jun 11 2012, 8:42 pm

There's no rule. It's whatever you and your husband feel comfortable with. Never heard it referred to as "marital beds" though!

chocolate chips

Mon, Jun 11 2012, 8:56 pm

There is no halachic problem its just uncomfortable (for me anyway).

If you do just change the sheets and thats all.

amother

Mon, Jun 11 2012, 9:15 pm

I wouldn't let anyone sleep in my beds. Maybe one set of our parents if it would serve a specific purpose. I would really prefer not though. I don't even like letting people in my bedroom.

spring13

Mon, Jun 11 2012, 9:47 pm

Personally, I wouldn't want anyone else sleeping in my room. It's not about being grossed out over someone else sleeping in my bed, it's about it being my private space.

But if you aren't bothered by it, then there's no problem.

hml

Mon, Jun 11 2012, 10:10 pm

I cant see myself doing it, but its amazing and nice for those that do!

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