Calling home - how often?

amother

Sun, Aug 27 2006, 8:16 pm

How often do you think a girl/boy away in sem/yeshiva/work should call home?

red sea

Sun, Aug 27 2006, 8:30 pm

if youre talking post high school, as often as they want, worked for me, noone complained.

Tefila

Sun, Aug 27 2006, 8:48 pm

One of my sons calls daily and the other two once aweek.We don't care it's better this way I think 8)

southernbubby

Sun, Aug 27 2006, 9:04 pm

One of our sons was calling home very frequently but now that he is in Canada, he doesn't have cell service. The other was going to his married brother very frequently by train and that was "home" so he only called once or twice a week. Girls call hourly, maybe more frequently. Very Happy

chocolate moose

Sun, Aug 27 2006, 10:07 pm

I guess it depends on what needs to be accomplished. I remember being lonely and feeding the pay phone nickles when I first came to NY, but my parents weren't as thrilled to talk to me, as I was to them.

With my own kids, life is so busy that I often don't get time to talk to them when they call. I'd prefer an email, honestly!

chen

Mon, Aug 28 2006, 10:56 am

there's no "should" about it--it's whatever works for you and for them. often enough that you are reassured as to their health, happiness and wellbeing, seldom enough to foster their developing independence. and let's not forget the financial aspects--are they calling from across town or across an ocean? makes a diff!

Ruchel

Mon, Aug 28 2006, 1:06 pm

Tell them to try to call you at least twice a week, but don't hesitate to call yourself. If you do, PLEASE not more than once a day, unless they ask you to do it. When I was in summer camp I used to talk to my parents twice a day, but that's just me and I know few other kids wanted it.

Motek

Tue, Aug 29 2006, 9:59 am

The financial aspect is not much of a big deal anymore. I can chat to Israel for an hour or two and the cost is neglible.

I used a phone card the other day and spoke to a relative in Israel for 10-15 minutes for around $.50. If you can afford to send a child to Israel (air fare and tuition), the fifty cents, even every day, won't break the bank.

DefyGravity

Tue, Aug 29 2006, 10:13 am

What's concerning you about the amount of phone calls? Do you feel it's too expensive (which shouldn't be an issue nowadays)? Is it because the child is homesick and you're afraid that calling too frequently is feeding the separation anxiety?

Like other poster's said, every kid is different - some kids will call their parents rarely (or will wait for their parent's to call), and some will call every day, if not more. Speak to your child according to your and his/her needs.

If the kid is calling too frequently and it's interfering with your day, then tell him/her what times are better to call.

amother

Tue, Aug 29 2006, 11:25 am

DefyGravity wrote:

What's concerning you about the amount of phone calls?

Just wondering what is approrpiate.

su7kids

Tue, Aug 29 2006, 11:27 am

As far as I'm concerned, they can call as often as they like!!!

I put toll free numbers on all my phones before they (most) had cell phones. No excuses, Mommy is always available. I try not to call them unless I have something to say.

I usually leave a message if they don't answer, and then they call me back and say "I see you called" "Did you listen to the message" "No, I thought you'd be happier if I called you!" LOL

su7kids

Tue, Aug 29 2006, 11:38 am

Yes, 6 out of my 7 kids have cell phones. They're all older and all out of town, or not living at home.

Even my 14 yo is away for high school.

shanie5

Wed, Sep 06 2006, 10:32 pm

my dd went to israel this week. she has a cell phone there (school rules) and we set up a time for us to call her every week. this way her siblings can keep in touch-but only if they want to.
my son in yeshiva calls every erev shabbos -out of respect to his parents- to wish us a good shabbos (and let us know if he needs anything Wink

it keeps us close as a family, and I like that.