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8 year old dd w/eczema - making me so drained and depressed!
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simi5771




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 22 2011, 5:14 pm
I am at the end of my sanity. Our (nearly) 8 year old suffering from huge eczema flare-ups - getting worse and we do everything - no dairy, oatmeal baths, benadryl, etc. Skin now bloody in patches.

Problem: our daughter TOTALLY refuses the cream. Eczema is 99% managed by moisturization, but she fights and fights and screeams (she is losing her voice) over the last weeks and months.

It is ruining her life and ours.

Dr tells us to moisturize.

DH no help: believes she should be forced to moisturize.

Please help, she refuses to stop screaming and is killing me.
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allrgymama




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 22 2011, 6:51 pm
As I've said in many other threads, I find that the Aveeno Baby Eczema Therapy Moisturizer works absolutely the best, from any other products that I've found.

As far as her screaming: she's nearly 8? I don't mean to sound harsh, but who is the parent/older person here? If you need to strap her down the bed to get her moisturized, that's what you have to do. Get your husband to help you. Forcibly undress her and stand her in a bathtub or shower and slather it all over her. It shouldn't hurt. If the skin is so raw that it does hurt, force the moisturizer on her until she gets better enough to realize that it doesn't hurt if she does it every day.

Moisturizing my baby is part of our routine and it should be a part of yours.

The most important thing I can say, though, is that you have to stay calm as you do this. Your child is clearly afraid of it (for whatever reason) and she needs to be reassured and comforted, even as you are forcing this stuff on her. She cannot see you get angry about it. You need to repeat, over and over and over and over and over, how important this is and how much better it will make her feel. Put some on yourself if you need to (I just did this with my 5 year old cousin and 18 month old cousin with eczema; put it on myself and my baby to show them it didn't hurt).

(Which is nothing to say of finding what it is that's triggering the eczema breakouts and eliminating that from her diet/lifestyle, too).

I know how difficult it is as a parent to not want to cause our child immediate hurt and to also not want to deal with a screaming child. It's so much easier to let it go. I know. But I've seen kids who couldn't walk straight because their parents were lazy about changing a diaper and then lazy about putting on cream and next thing you know the kid's bottom is cracked and bleeding; it hurts more and takes longer to heal. It's ridiculous when all that was necessary was two minutes of patience when the kid first pished in a diaper.

This is the same. Yes, it's too late now for this instance. But you need to be firm and consistent in that she moisturize every day; right before lecht bentchen on Shabbos and before she goes to sleep Motzei Shabbos, too. No exceptions.

(Sorry for the ramble. A bit all over the place. It hurts me to see children who are in unnecessary pain.)
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qeenB




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 22 2011, 7:03 pm
I dont have any good ideas on how to get her moisturized but maybe have her tested for food allergies to try to get to the root of what is causing the eczema in the first place.
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Capitalchick




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 22 2011, 7:17 pm
Can you give her some Tylenol 30 minutes before moisturizing? Just to ease the pain a little. After that, I'd say wrestle her and force the moisturization. Sometimes parents have to do those things for their kids.
I remember being 9 and incredibly ill in Europe. And my father had to chase me around the house and literally tackle me and pin me to the floor in order to administer the medication....which only came in suppository form. It was the only way I'd get better, so of course he was right to do it!! But my oh my.....I remember not liking it!!
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 22 2011, 7:26 pm
If the skin is raw then mix in some neosporen with the mousterizer to prevent infection.

It does hurt to put on mousterizer when the skin is very raw. When my skin is raw and I put on aquaphor it does sting for a few seconds/minutes.

You can try bribing her. She is probably to old for this, but when I put it on my son and he knows it will sting we play a game were we blow on it. Maybe find something different to distract her.

Also if its really bad maybe you need a prescription cream just to bring it under control and then you can start a mousterizing routine again.
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shnitzel




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 22 2011, 7:32 pm
As someone married to someone who has very severe eczema I don't think I would be forcing an 8 year old to moisturize. She is old enough to know the consequences of not moisturizing. Do you know what about moisturizing is upsetting her? It sounds like this has turned into a huge power struggle. Can you let it go and let her deal with the consequences? I really do know what severe eczema is like and I have seen DH suffer when he gets lazy about moisturizing or at the beginning of a flare.
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pearswood12




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 22 2011, 7:32 pm
My daughter has the same problem with my grand-daughter who is 10. She just refuses to take any medication or wash in a special soap or put on any creams etc. My daughter has been to a nutritionist, who basically put her on a starvation diet, a naturpath and a regular doctor who prescribed cortisone cream, which is really bad to use on a long term basis.

The teachers at school ask my grand-daughter why her mummy doesn't do something about her skin and my daughter is really angry because she is made to look like a bad mother.

My grand-daughter just runs out of the house and screams. She is a nice girl but really awkward about this.

The best way to heal exema prone skin is to take flax seed oil orally or if that is too hard smooth it on the affected areas. I have found this works really well. It has worked well with my other grand-children.

Maybe OP you can offer some treats or prizes if she uses the moisteriser or cream. I would definitely try the flax seed oil though. Hemp Seed Oil is very good too if you can get it.

Good Luck
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Yocheved_G




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 22 2011, 8:18 pm
OP, why does she react like that to having moisturizer? I have found that most moisturizers sting eczema-filled skin so very badly. The previous posters mentioned Neosporin, or the generic brand. The best thing to do is to put the Neosporin, the type with 'pain reliever' on the eczema patches first, let it absorb in a while and then put on a moisturizer that you know will not sting or burn. The only creams that don't sting that I know of are Vaseline & Aquaphor... extremely mild, non-fragrance, etc. Also, many of the so-called calming creams really burn.

I can't emphasize enough how important it is to put a 'good' cream on... one that does not cause any more pain to a child with eczema. I also wanted to mention this cream, that we have dubbed 'miracle cream' in our house because of how magnificently effective it is on eczema, even more so than steriod creams. It is produced in Israel and it is called Clear Cream.
https://www.heimlichclearcream......aspx
It is very expensive but for a condition such as this I think it is totally worth it. At first, apply this cream daily, or a couple times a day. Then, please G-d, once the skin clears up well, you can maintain with Aquaphor or the like to keep the skin well moisturized. Every couple of days use the Clear Cream again.

I really hope that this helps and that your daughter's skin improves!! (And that the battles end!)
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cip




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 22 2011, 8:35 pm
I have a son who had terrible eczema.
the clear cream/heimlich cream mentioned above worked wonders and doesn't sting bad.
use moisturizers that don't sting like vasaline based/aquaphore...then you can add a good moisturizer like vani cream.
also, bath her before applying so it doesn't sting and absorbs better into her skin.
mabey tell her she can do it herself.
also, when she was on her starvation diet, was her eczema more controlled?
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supermommy07




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 22 2011, 9:30 pm
I use clear cream for myself. It doesnt burn even with the worst flare ups. Im seriously crying reading everyones posts here about their chilren with eczema. Crying Crying I think at your DD's age she should understands the cycles of her skin and want to "take responsiblity" and be creaming twice daily. I daven that your children grow out of it!!! Please try the clear cream. I actually have it delivered to my home every 2 weeks. its amazing. but first clear up any infections with cortisone and benadryl and then start with the clear cream.Find out which food trigger the flare ups and avoid. Use a humidifier in her room. make sure there is no mold or dust in her room as those are comman triggers. Also try keeping creams in the fridge it feels good and the cold is comforting when applying cream to the skin.

Last edited by supermommy07 on Sun, Jan 23 2011, 7:54 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother


 

Post Sat, Jan 22 2011, 9:54 pm
I ditto supermommy07
I have eczema, and regular creams kill and sting when I put them on. clear cream works like magic, literally. I can have the worst flare up, with my eczema oozing, and ill use clear cream every day for three days, and then my skin is clear, almost completely healed.
its worth every single penny.
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elaela




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2011, 3:18 am
I had bad exzema as a child. bH I grew out of it but my motehr really creamed me every night. there were phases where I let her cream me,and phases where I absolutely hated it. I hated it cos, I am extremely tickelish and also sometimes creaming is painful (especially if the skin is cracked and bleeding etc.).
so what my motehr did was,
1.) she ALWAYS stayed calm, sometimes she put on relaxing music
2.) she made sure that in winter the room was warm (then u relax easier)
3.) in summer the cream was refrigerated (it ahd a nice cooling effect)
4.) if I totally refused to be creamed (I didnt scream, I just looked sooo unhappy and begged her not to cream me), she had a pair of extremely soft cotton thin ("1000 times washed" as my motehr used to call old shmatte thin cloth) PJs and she put the cream thick on the inside of the top and the pans and I would wear them and when I moced in the sleep, the cream would get onto my skin. we diodnt do this often, but sometimes it was the only way. it was a sort of compromise. maybe this will work for you? it is important to show that u understand that she doesnt like it, and that u try to fidnasolution but that as her mother u have the responsibility and the desire for her to feel better on. keep on repeating in a calm voice that u do this because you care for her and love her and daven that it will help her to fel better soon...
refuah shlema, I feel for yo and your dd!
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kaffe




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2011, 4:13 am
Yocheved_G wrote:
OP, why does she react like that to having moisturizer? I have found that most moisturizers sting eczema-filled skin so very badly. The previous posters mentioned Neosporin, or the generic brand. The best thing to do is to put the Neosporin, the type with 'pain reliever' on the eczema patches first, let it absorb in a while and then put on a moisturizer that you know will not sting or burn. The only creams that don't sting that I know of are Vaseline & Aquaphor... extremely mild, non-fragrance, etc. Also, many of the so-called calming creams really burn.

I can't emphasize enough how important it is to put a 'good' cream on... one that does not cause any more pain to a child with eczema. I also wanted to mention this cream, that we have dubbed 'miracle cream' in our house because of how magnificently effective it is on eczema, even more so than steriod creams. It is produced in Israel and it is called Clear Cream.
https://www.heimlichclearcream......aspx
It is very expensive but for a condition such as this I think it is totally worth it. At first, apply this cream daily, or a couple times a day. Then, please G-d, once the skin clears up well, you can maintain with Aquaphor or the like to keep the skin well moisturized. Every couple of days use the Clear Cream again.

I really hope that this helps and that your daughter's skin improves!! (And that the battles end!)


I will second this post, I as well as my dc use this cream. my dc (who HATED regular creams) allows me to put this on without a problem, and the effects are nothing short of miraculous! good luck, and please give this cream a shot
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chanab




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2011, 4:32 am
Although I pmed OP, I will also chime in about the miracle that is clear cream. My son was exactly like OP´s child and at a certain point we had to give strong medication (think oral cortizone as well as topical---he had to have blood tests to monitor him). We started using Clear cream and he went off ALL medication. and bc of the cycle (itching, scratch, eczema flares etc) he now is almost completely clear. If you can get it from EY, its half the price there.
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miky72




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2011, 6:02 am
[quote="
I can't emphasize enough how important it is to put a 'good' cream on... one that does not cause any more pain to a child with eczema. I also wanted to mention this cream, that we have dubbed 'miracle cream' in our house because of how magnificently effective it is on eczema, even more so than steriod creams. It is produced in Israel and it is called Clear Cream.
https://www.heimlichclearcream......aspx
It is very expensive but for a condition such as this I think it is totally worth it. At first, apply this cream daily, or a couple times a day. Then, please G-d, once the skin clears up well, you can maintain with Aquaphor or the like to keep the skin well moisturized. Every couple of days use the Clear Cream again.

I agree with the use of Clear Cream.It is truly a miracle cream.
If you know anyone coming from Israel to the US you maybe can ask them to buy it for you there since it costs 25% less in EY.
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Kayza




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2011, 7:33 am
Firstly, get to a good pediatric dermatologist - moisturizers often do NOT help, and once the skin is raw they hurt like anything.

Also, don't just eliminate foods - get her tested for allergy. I know one child whose doctor recommended a similar elimination diet. It just made things worse, because she wound up eating more of a food that she was actually allergic to.

Two things that you may want to try - camomile cream (if you can find ) or Alue. I found it very helpful, but the problem is that when the skin is raw, it can be very painful. The good news is that it tends to help very quickly, if it's going to work at all.


Last edited by Kayza on Sun, Jan 23 2011, 7:36 am; edited 1 time in total
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sneakermom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2011, 7:33 am
Another pain free idea is to pour olive oil into her bath. She could sit into it and it will naturally moisturize her. Make sure to have a humidifier in her room so that the air is not dry it can make a huge difference. Also you can use olive oil as a moisturizer shmearing it directly on her skin it helps a lot.

Never use any creams with alcohol in it. It burns and drys the skin. Only petroleum based creams are soothing. I never tried that new cream mentioned here....but it might be worth a shot. Although I wonder, it might just have cortizone it in and that's why it works so well.

I would talk to dd about the whole situation. Tell her how you feel so sad that she has the rashes and it hurts her, but it also makes you so so sad to hear her cry so much. Ask her if she has any ideas of how to deal with her skin. You can also go with her resistance. Put a huge tub of vaseline or whatever cream you choose, and tell her to use it as she is able. Validate how much she hates it, and so explain that you will leave it up to her to put it on as she is able. She might just slowly put it on here and there and then see that she is no longer so afraid and her resistance will go away.

Good luck.
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simi5771




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2011, 7:43 am
thanks for all the posts and suggestions. The problem is that once the cream is applied (after a huge battle) she proceeds to change her clothes - removing the cream in the process.

She has screamed and screamed and screamed for nearly an hour. She has made herself hysteriacal.

She has almost lost her voice.

I simply do not have the energy to battle with her anymore.
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rovacat




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2011, 9:52 am
you are definitely going through a big power struggle. I would pull out- give her the moisturizer and tell her it's up to her. make a chart, put it on the fridge, and every day she moisturizes, give her a sticker, or have her put the sticker on. at the end of the week, get a her a prize, treat- whatever is special to her.

also, I would put emol oil, or something like that in the bath. just watch her carefully bec. it makes the tub slippery. when she gets out, her body will be full of oil which is great. I don't think you even have to moisturize it after that.

good luck!
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gryp




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2011, 10:02 am
Yocheved_G wrote:
OP, why does she react like that to having moisturizer? I have found that most moisturizers sting eczema-filled skin so very badly. The previous posters mentioned Neosporin, or the generic brand. The best thing to do is to put the Neosporin, the type with 'pain reliever' on the eczema patches first, let it absorb in a while and then put on a moisturizer that you know will not sting or burn. The only creams that don't sting that I know of are Vaseline & Aquaphor... extremely mild, non-fragrance, etc. Also, many of the so-called calming creams really burn.

I can't emphasize enough how important it is to put a 'good' cream on... one that does not cause any more pain to a child with eczema. I also wanted to mention this cream, that we have dubbed 'miracle cream' in our house because of how magnificently effective it is on eczema, even more so than steriod creams. It is produced in Israel and it is called Clear Cream.
https://www.heimlichclearcream......aspx
It is very expensive but for a condition such as this I think it is totally worth it. At first, apply this cream daily, or a couple times a day. Then, please G-d, once the skin clears up well, you can maintain with Aquaphor or the like to keep the skin well moisturized. Every couple of days use the Clear Cream again.

I really hope that this helps and that your daughter's skin improves!! (And that the battles end!)

I can't give this post enough Thumbs Up

Every lotion or moisturizer I've tried makes the rashes more painful, stinging, and itchy. The only thing that's worked is the Clear Cream. There is even a money back guarantee if it doesn't work. And I haven't had to ask for it.

Secondly, what is she allergic to? I finally took my 4 yr old son off tomatoes (and tomato products) and eggs (except eggs that are baked into cookies, cake, etc.) I still need to moisturize him every so often but regular Vaseline works just fine on the remnants of the horror that was.

(Btw, Clear Cream did an awesome job on athlete's foot as well.)

Lastly, my 8 year old would be putting cream on herself.
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