Took away DDs sussy..

amother

Mon, Jan 24 2011, 9:32 pm

(*posting anon so my friends dont figure out my username Smile

*)

last motzei shabbos (jan 15th) because it had finally torn. she is 2 yrs old.
we had no plans on giving her a new one after this one because enough is enough! she freaks out if she doesn't have it for her naps or night-time sleep!
we had been putting off taking it away because we were living in a 1 bedroom and finally just moved into a 2 bedroom. the original plan was that after she would get used to sleeping in the new apt (in our room), we would move her into her room (which would be mostly unpacked by then), and then after a couple of weeks (so she would be used to sleeping alone) we'd take it away.
That was not Hashems plan. her sussy tore on shabbos and I decided I wasn't going to give her the babys sussy or buy her a new one, so we showed her it was broken, said our last goodbyes and she threw it in the garbage.
it has been horrible. she cries when she goes to sleep, wakes up in the middle of the night...... we are THISCLOSE to giving her a new sussy just to shut her up!@#$
after 2 nights of crying in our room we decided enough was enough and put her into her own room.

my husband and I are constantly arguing whether to take her out, put her to sleep in his bed, or let her pass out from crying.

can any moms give us some advice? give her a new sussy (which she will never be ready to give up after this, she will have a sussy in her mouth at her chuppah!!!!)? chizzuk? ANYTHING?
AND now she is not napping in her play group!

after an hour of screaming DH took her out and she is happily playing in the living room. AHHHHHHHHHH!

Blue jay

Mon, Jan 24 2011, 9:57 pm

If sussy refers to Pacifier, Then boy you are brave! No pacifier cold turkey!

My toddlers stopped the pacifier at 2, but I started with nap time first, I explained to them it was only for bed time. Interestingly enough that is when they gave up the afternoon nap... Then by the time they were 2 and a half, no pacifiers at night , I bought them pillows to sleep in their toddler beds. just to change the bedtime routine a little. Something emotionally clicked at that age and they were ready to give it up... this heralded us into toilet training. Ahh the temultous twos!

Im a softee, but maybe give in ,,, and start with the naps? As you said she is in a new enviroment and she needs her familiar comforts.

Blue jay

Mon, Jan 24 2011, 10:05 pm

also dont be shocked that once she finally kicks the habit that she will stop napping as well. Kids often give up the afternoon nap around this time. Naps are usually replaced by some quiet time in the afternoon, your childcare provider should be informed about the napping patterns of your daughter especially if she is without the pacifier.

And by all means dont let her cry this one out!

amother

Mon, Jan 24 2011, 10:16 pm

her morah and I discussed discontinuing using her sussy during her naps, so she hasnt napped with her sussy in months (except when she naps at home, fri-sun)

she is still sleeping in her crib (dont trust her to stay in a toddler bed just yet!) and she has a pillow too (and a small down comforter). I don't know what I could possibly add to make it easier.

I would just like to vent right now that dh took her out of her crib (after screaming for almost an hour) at 9:30 and he went to bed, now it's 45min later and I'm here alone with her and she is showing no signs of being ready to go back for more (don't blame her)!!

Blue jay

Mon, Jan 24 2011, 10:23 pm

Alright, Its time to throw in the towel...Atleast thats my philosoplhie when it comes down to mommy sleep time!

Do you have a paci somewhere?

Also you should be consistent with the no sussy nap time even at home. She has to get somewhat used to sleeping at home, even if its a short afternoon snooz e with out the sussy.

devorahh

Tue, Jan 25 2011, 1:38 pm

Oy...giving you a hug. This sounds really hard. I don't really have any advice since I am a the softy of all softies. Both kids are in my bed some nights. Just from an outside softy perspective: taking away a paci, changing her room and new app are 3 big change for a litle person without any warning....but what do I know?! Good Luck!

Marion

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 1:39 am

DS#1 also lost his dummy when the one he had tore and we were away for a long weekend (Shabbat, Sunday, Shavuot) without a spare. It took him less than 24 hours to decide he didn't want it anyway...so not much advice for you. I would NOT go buy another one...she's taking her time getting used to it but you do NOT want to give her the message that this is within her control. If it's time to give it up it's time to give it up...and something tells me it won't be any easier 3 months from now when you decide it's time if you go out and buy one now.

amother

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 1:59 am

Anon to protect the dignity of my boys

My children still argue over pieces of an old ratty PINK blanket. How old do you think these boys are??? between 8 and 12

In their defense it is a very soft blanket... Actually, I should be fighting over it too since it was MINE before the kids got attached to it when they were infants co-sleeping in my bed.

MuppetLover

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 9:49 am

I had two sussy addicts.
My son broke the habit on his own, my daughter , we lost her sussy on pesach, on yomt ov, couldnt find anymore, so my sister in law told her firmly, you dont have a sussy, a bird took it away, thats it. She accepted it after a few hours...

DONT SWITCH ONE COMFORT FOR ANOTHER. DO NOT DO NOT LET HER INTO YOUR BEDS! You WILL NOT GET HER OUT. You will be teaching her NOT to self comfort. Switch up her routine andmake sure she is EXHAUSTED by bedtime. Like ready to pass out tired. And if she cries int he midle of the night for it, go give her a snuggle, and then out you go. Its sounds cruel, but it may be cute now that she is little and she wants to be in your bed, but its harder to break a 7 yr old of the bed habit than a 2 yr old.

PinkFridge

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 12:00 pm

I am so not one to give you advice on this. We had blankies and pacifiers for a while, the former especially.
But I just saw a cute book in the library if she's closer to 3 than 2. Mo Willems (who wrote the marvelous book, Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus) wrote a few books about a kid and her Knuffle Bunny. In the newest one, she gives it up.
This may not work for you but I just thought that others reading the book could benefit from it too.

freidasima

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 3:26 pm

Ger her a different colored one for each day of the week for heaven's sake and let her enjoy it. Let her go to the store and pick out her own already...make it a fashion statement.

And if you think I'm kidding, I'm not. Let her have it for as long as she wants. She will give it up eventually or switch to a thumb. Many a thumbsucking kallah got married, also chossens. No big deal, they can suck each other's thumbs afterwards, actually that can be fun, try it!

Pink blankets...ahhhh, actually I would get very upset if my kids would take mine away, it was MINE! I came with it, got married with it and I think it disintegrated in my 40s at some point. Would wrap my feet in it in the winter to keep them warm.

CHILL!

Very little is worth more than sleep for young parents. Maybe good health. Certainly not a raise. Run, do not walk, to the store, buy her a bunch of pacifiers and keep spares for the future.

Enjoy life. Peace and love.

sneakermom

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 8:52 pm

Freidasima I love love love this post. It made me laugh out loud and couldn't agree more...even read it to my dh who was passing by and wanted to know what was so funny!

Seriously what is the big prize in pulling pacifiers out of kid's mouths? And if you do decide to wean...do it SLOWLY and not when you just move into a new home! I happen to have a little thumb sucking girl and I think she looks so darn cute when she sucks her thumb. She even lets you suck her spare....if you are her friend! Isn't she generous?

amother

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 9:30 pm

freidasima wrote:

We know a boy who leyned with pieces of his Blankie in his suit pocket. He was wonderful.

Why is it so important that she give up her paci now? Because one got a hole? Don;t read signs from Hashem into that. The sign could just as easily be *time to buy a new one* as *time to stop*

With our first daughter, we sweated it all. When will she potty train? When we she move to a bed? When will she give up her paci? The answer, to all of those questions, was 2-1/2. Within a one-monht period, she trained herself, gave up the paci, and asked to move into the bed (that was already set up). I guess she was ready.

After that experience, we let the kids decide when they were ready. None of them are going to the chuppah with a paci. And what is the use of going through all of that crying and angst over another couple of months, one way or another.