Trusting the babysitter

amother

Fri, Sep 01 2006, 4:53 pm

How do you come to trust someone taking care of your baby? the baby cant talk and tell you what goes on while you're away!
I keep changing my mind back and forth- like shes for sure doing a good job, why wouldnt she? Or sometimes I think what if she lets her cry and cry and doesnt take her out of the crib??
I am going crazy thinking about all this.

healthymama

Fri, Sep 01 2006, 5:00 pm

you :
1. get to know the person better before leaving her with your child
2. pop in unexpectedly to see how it is going.
3. get a nanny cam

girliesmommy

Sat, Sep 02 2006, 4:53 pm

Like the other poster said, drop in unexpectedly. We are fortunate that we work around the corner from our home. My husband makes a point of stopping by at different times each day to pick something up, or eat lunch, so that our babysitter can never assume we won't pop in on her.

I know a friend of mine who worked 30 minutes away from home (as a teacher - so pretty strict schedule) gave a key to a neighbor and asked her to drop by from time to time.

Make sure to let the babysitter know that someone could be dropping by. The point is not to catch her doing something she shouldn't, but to prevent it to begin with!

nicole81

Sat, Sep 02 2006, 10:36 pm

you know, your instinct and your baby's mood can go a long away. how old is the baby? when I sent my oldest to the sitter by 4 months, I just had a feeling she wasn't good. even though she was young, dd just looked upset every day when we dropped her off and picked her up. the few times I came by early to get her, she was cooped up in a bassinet, and once the sitter was taking a shower while I listened to my child screaming and couldn't get in. that was the last day I used her.

anyway, the next week I got a new sitter for her and dd turned around completely and was so happy every morning and evening. you would think at that age they can't tell you how the sitter is, but trust me, it's quite possible to figure out.

amother

Sun, Sep 03 2006, 9:56 am

Nicole, I think you're right. My instinct tells me that something is not right. I feel bad b/c I'm not basing my suspisions on actual facts, but there's something I don't trust about the situation.
In a way I tell myself its really not fair to the babysitter to think that, but then again, she's my daughter and that comes first. Does that make sense?

nicole81

Sun, Sep 03 2006, 2:46 pm

the way I look at is, is whether you're basing your suspicion on actual fact or not, if you have that feeling, you're not going to be able to shake it. and nothing can be more detrimental to a working mother than having the feeling they're not doing right by their child. so I would find another sitter. also, I think a mother's instint can be very powerful.

but try to look at your own feelings and make sure you're just not feeling this way because you're leaving her all together. you don't want to switch sitters just to find out you have the same feelings again. pay attention to your daughter's cues. if she doesn't seem happy, then you're right and should find a new sitter.

that said, I do know how it feels when you think something's not quite right. and when it comes to my children, I would go with my gut feeling. good luck in sorting this out!

happymom

Mon, Sep 04 2006, 12:09 pm

Quote:

of course that makes sense! If u didnt think about that it wouldnt kmake sense... if yount feel 100 percent comfortable u should switch babysitters. sometimes we have feelings for a reason. and even if there is a chance ure feelings are right, there is also a chance they are, so why take that risk?

Imhappy!

Mon, Sep 04 2006, 12:12 pm

[quote="nicole81"], I think a mother's instint can be very powerful.

but try to look at your own feelings and make sure you're just not feeling this way because you're leaving her all together.

quote]
very well said.
these are two issues I always dealth with until now I burach hashem found an amazing sitter heimish frum and gevaldig now I realize what was bothering me with all the other sitters. don't rest until your comfy. with the situation.

amother

Thu, Sep 14 2006, 10:55 pm

I agree with above, that if your child is happy to go and come things are probably ok.
I'm a babysitter and am very much ok with mothers popping in unannounced.
For the most part the babies are very happy here. One year I had a little girl who was soooooo unhappy. I used all the tricks in my bag, still she was sooo unhappy. I was scratching my head thinking what am I not giving this child that she needs...? I am very honest with the mothers and so I found myself repeatedly telling the mother that "Chavy just doesn't seem happy here". And mother said to give it time. One day, to my utter relief, the mother said to me, "She's this way at home too. That's why I'm so glad to get a break from her...." Whadaya say to that?!

happymom

Thu, Sep 14 2006, 11:24 pm

Quote:

And mother said to give it time. One day, to my utter relief, the mother said to me, "She's this way at home too. That's why I'm so glad to get a break from her...." Whadaya say to that?!

maybe shes that way at home because she isnt happy by the babysitter. or who knows.... shes not getting the proper attention or love at home..... but there must be a reason.

SingALong

Thu, Sep 14 2006, 11:36 pm

I have a crazy work schedule and sometimes I don't see my dd all day. there fore we installed a nanny cam that is hooked up to the internet so I can check up whenever I want. this makes me feel very secure. B"H I have never seen anything bad but I still think the camera is important.
also, I have neigbors pop in now and then "pretending" to need milk, sugar, potato, whatever, so the sitter knows that there is someone around who checks.