esther hamalka would laugh...

happy mom1

Tue, Mar 01 2011, 4:53 pm

I was doing some shopping today and stepped into a purim shop to check it out. My first thought was:what would esther hamalka say if she would see the sight?? I think she would crack up! I'm all for a cute mishloach manos, costume, theme, etc. But am I the only one that thinks its going a little overboard? Maybe you'll say you enjoy it, good for you! But so many ppl I speak to are complaining about the pressure and how they have to do something "different" and major. I just felt for a fleeting moment that we sometimes lose focus of what the mitzvos of purim really mean, and we can really miss out on the holiness of the day by being caught up in the pettiness of going way out to impress others.
thanks for letting me air my thoughts. now back to worrying about my theme LOL Tongue Out

happy mom1

Tue, Mar 01 2011, 7:33 pm

don't get me wrong, I think it's adorable when my kids are all dressed up, but where has the meaning to this day gone?? and doesn't anyone know how many mishloach manos one has to give to do the mitzvah? so if you feel pressured, please! do yourself and your poor kids a favor and calm down about life!

emama

Tue, Mar 01 2011, 8:28 pm

About 25 years ago, we began giving money to a local kosher food bank for Purim and sending out cards telling our friends that we gave to those who were needy, instead of shalach manot to them. Sometimes my young children and I shopped for items that the food bank said they needed.
The mitzvah of mishloach manot is 2 items to ONE, person. For matanot l'evyonim, we need to give to 2 people. I am always saddened by the needless waste at Purim time. I recognize it may be fun, but there are so many other ways to get one's family involved in Purim. My little kids loved shopping for the food bank. We talked about it, looked for the items on the store shelf, and later delievered the bags to the food bank together.
As our children grew, we allowed them to make mishloah manot for their friends, simple ones. And we usually give 2 or 3 ourselves, to our Jewish neighbors, who are not frum, and to one friend. The rest goes to matanot l'evyonim.
Considering the economy, to add the pressure to compete with one's friends for Purim, is really unfortunate. There are now so many tzedaka organizations that sell cards for Purim. Send them to friends instead of nosh, which most of us don't need anyway.

happy mom1

Tue, Mar 01 2011, 8:41 pm

emama wrote:

emama, your post really made me happy. it's so good to hear that there are people who really know whats important! Kol hakavod to you!

baschabad

Tue, Mar 01 2011, 9:22 pm

I agree with the tears rather than the laughter... I am not the MM theme type, and don't really have the time or money to spend agonizing about it, (but all the power to those who enjoy doing it and can afford it!!!)
The problem I deal with is "what are people going to say/think?" When someone hands you a MM on Purim day, you're expected to return one, but if you only MADE one and you already did your mitzva, what are you going to do???

How bad would be it be if I printed a bunch of cute cards on snapfish with a cute poem about how we are giving our money to tzedaka this year?

shstreich

Thu, Mar 03 2011, 9:21 pm

One year I gave a Mishloach Monos on a paper plate with an orange a bottle of grape juice and a hamentash. I attached a little note that said Bayamim haheim bazman hazeh. Reminding people how instead of all the fanfare we can enjoy the yom tov the old fashioned way.

pobody's nerfect

Thu, Mar 03 2011, 9:36 pm

baschabad wrote:

How bad would be it be if I printed a bunch of cute cards on snapfish with a cute poem about how we are giving our money to tzedaka this year?

someone in my community once made teeny peckalach with 2 little candies and a note that said they gave tzedaka. the kids who recieved it were all bummed out, but adults were impressed that they were willing to do that.

Sherri

Fri, Mar 04 2011, 3:31 am

shstreich wrote:

But even that was your cute theme. Wink

amother

Coral

Sun, Mar 06 2011, 7:41 pm

shstreich wrote:

It's sad that you have to make excuses for this. This should be the norm, not the exception.

Last edited by amother on Sat, Jan 02 2016, 9:17 pm; edited 1 time in total

happy mom1

Sun, Mar 06 2011, 10:40 pm

wereafamily wrote:

What would Esther Hamalka think - I don't know. But Achashveirosh would feel quite at home - though we don't make 180-day banquets yet...

You're so right!
I'm the one that started this topic, and I'm still with my same opinions. but maybe...the other way IS better embarrassed

? At least all those people with fancy themes are all set, while I... still don't have costumes, theme or no theme! Ha ha ha!
AH GUTTEN CHODESH EVERYONE!! Party

sarahd

Mon, Mar 07 2011, 9:25 am

OPINIONATED wrote:

shstreich wrote:

It's sad that you have to make excuses for this. This should be the norm, not the exception.

Why should this be the norm? Even 50 or 100 years ago, this was not what people gave. They gave their own home-baked treats - something they thought the recipient would appreciate, not a mishloach manos abi to get it over with. You don't have to spend $50 per MM or slave for hours in the kitchen to make something nice and tasteful, and appreciated. The idea is to increase good feelings between friends and neighbors. Feeling that someone threw some stuff on a plate to give it to me is less likely to increase my good feelings than something someone put some thought into.

Dayzmom

Mon, Mar 07 2011, 9:30 am

I think Esther would love it! I think she would be so proud that we make sure to commemorate in such a grand way. I think she'd be happy that we make sure to make a big deal so we don't forget. I think she would be impressed with how many people honor her strength and martyrdom.

bigsis144

Mon, Mar 07 2011, 9:46 am

sarahd wrote:

OPINIONATED wrote:

shstreich wrote:

It's sad that you have to make excuses for this. This should be the norm, not the exception.

emama

Mon, Mar 07 2011, 9:57 am

Quote:

They gave their own home-baked treats - something they thought the recipient would appreciate, not a mishloach manos abi to get it over with. You don't have to spend $50 per MM or slave for hours in the kitchen to make something nice and tasteful, and appreciated. The idea is to increase good feelings between friends and neighbors. Feeling that someone threw some stuff on a plate to give it to me is less likely to increase my good feelings than something someone put some thought into.

Different people appreciate different things. I much rather get a card mentioning a donation and a Happy Purim wish, than food. We really don't need more nosh, etc., in our house. I appreciate being thought of by others, and am happy that someone else will benefit.